The X-Daughter
by sparozina
Summary: A little twist to Emily's story, in which she is also Mulder's daughter. This story is an experiment in the sense that you, as a reader, get to participate in choosing their fate.
1. Chapter 1

"It says, definitely, that Melissa is not Emily's mother, but that they found striking genetic similarities between Emily and Melissa, so many that they ran a test against another sample that they already had," Scully informed her confused family, while reading the results sent to her.

"What sample?" her mother asked.

"What are you trying to say?" Bill added.

Scully had about million other questions that she wanted answers to, but she had no one to ask.

"According to this…" she heard herself saying. "I am Emily's mother."

No one reacted, not visibly at least. The dreadful silence filled the house, as Scully turned the page in the report, read further and dropped the papers as if they were on fire. She gasped and that was it. Her whole world got turned upside down in a second.

"How…" Maggie went to her. "How is this possible?"

Scully just shook her head, unable to speak. Maggie gently led her to the couch and sat her down.

Bill had already picked up the papers and read through them. He wasn't a doctor or a scientist, but he understood the results just the same.

"That son of a bitch has some explaining to do!" he said angrily.

"What do you mean?" Maggie turned to him, but Bill ignored her, focusing on his sister instead.

"What the hell did he do to you?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Scully shook her head. "He never touched me. I was never pregnant, you know that! Something was done to me… To us… But I don't understand… Why would they do this?"

"Dana?" Maggie was still clueless. "What are you talking about?"

"Mulder is the father!" Bill informed her, throwing the papers in rage. He started pacing, trying to calm down. Melissa's secret pregnancy was a bizarre theory, but the truth turned out to be much more insane. He needed someone to blame, and who else but that-sorry-son-of-a-bitch?

"They wanted to test my sample," Scully finally pulled herself together just enough to explain. "But there was a mix-up and they used Mulder's instead. They are arranged by departments so ours were next to each other… Mom, both samples were a match."

"Are you saying Emily is your and Fox's daughter?" Maggie calmly asked for confirmation. She wasn't all that surprised. After all, her daughter worked for the strangest section of the FBI and this maybe even wasn't the weirdest thing that ever happened to her.

"Yeah," Scully confirmed, bursting into tears. She felt betrayed and violated in a terrible way. "And they've sent this to him, too. He already knows…"

"Oh, honey," Maggie hugged her and let her cry on her shoulder. "It's going to be ok. You'll figure this out, you always do."

"He'll hate me for this," Scully sobbed. "It will change everything."

"Who, Fox?" Maggie wondered. "He'd never hate you. You are friends. You'll get through this."

Bill approached them and placed his hand on Scully's shoulder, a bit calmer now.

"I don't know what to say," he sighed regretfully.

It made Scully cry harder.

Mulder was just as upset as Scully's brother. He already made a scene at the laboratory, yelling at everybody and demanding explanations. They repeated the tests on his insistence, but the results remained the same.

He had a child.

A little girl.

Mulder dedicated his life to finding his sister, not a daughter!

Men go through discoveries like this all the time. He was aware of that and he wasn't a saint, so this happening to him wasn't outside of the realm of possibilities. No, not at all.

But with Scully?!

He was sure, damn sure, that he never slept with his partner!

He was damn sure she wasn't pregnant!

So how the hell… !?

He dialled her number about ten times by now, but he always hung up before it started to ring. What was he supposed to say to her? What was he supposed to do?

Skinner sent him home when someone informed him that he's been harassing lab workers, so he just sat on his couch, staring at the results as if he could erase them with the force of his will.

Scully's ova, he suddenly remembered. He still had them and he never told her. She would never forgive him.

Not that it mattered at the moment.

This little girl mattered.

Emily.

The X-child.

Mulder chuckled at the thought. In a weird, twisted way it somehow seemed fitted. Why would a child of his come into the world in a usual, normal way?

His heart suddenly filled with warmth and he was already proud of a kid that he'd never met.

Proud and worried and thousand other feelings that he couldn't even begin to explain.

Once again, a little girl turned Mulder's world upside-down and changed the course of his life forever. His sister did it by disappearing, while his daughter did it by appearing, in just as mysterious and unexplainable way…

 **What happens next? Please vote:**

 **a) Mulder calls Scully**

 **b) Scully calls Mulder**

 **c) Mulder goes to San Diego**

 **d) Scully goes to Washington**

 **e) Nobody goes anywhere, they deal with this on their own**

 **f) Something else? What?**

 **The answer with the most votes wins and it will happen in the next chapter. Any other ideas or requests that you have I will try to include in the story, or put up for a vote. You will have the option to vote at the end of every chapter and decide the fate for this story.**

 **I'm doing it because I want to write a story without knowing what's going to happen. I'll just make it as I go with your requests, and decide for myself only if there are no votes. I was also inspired by negative reviews from people who wanted some of my stories to go in a different direction, this is your chance to make it happen!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, Mulder goes to San Diego! Great, because that's what I wanted, too! Thank you so much for voting and making this story possible. I am so happy for the opportunity to do this with you!**

He was just standing there, watching them. It felt like he was standing for hours, years, eternity…

His daughter… Her daughter… He still couldn't believe it, even with the DNA results and all the research he did on the plane. He didn't rest, but he didn't find the answers, only more questions.

Behind the glass window of the door, he could see Scully and the little girl playing on the floor. It looked so natural and so bizarre at the same time.

What was he supposed to say to his partner? What does he say to this miracle that wasn't meant to be? What was he supposed to do?

What does he tell himself?

Mulder pressed his forehead to the cold glass, trying to relieve his headache. Whatever he was supposed to do, he didn't want to do it. His partnership with Scully was the best thing that happened to him in a very long time and he couldn't afford to lose it. But this… This was bound to come between them.

He didn't knock. He didn't come in. He waited for Scully to take her time, notice him and come to him.

Finally, she did. She left the child and walked through the door, changing everything for all of them. Forever.

"Hi," she said, looking as embarrassed as he felt, but not the least bit surprised to see him.

"I told you we should've used condoms," he joked, trying to lighten up the mood. It came out wrong, but Scully accepted the game almost with a relief.

"What can I say, Mulder," she sighed, failing to look him straight in the eyes. He didn't notice it though, as he was having the same problem. "Not even celibacy works every time…"

"So, do I have to marry you now?" he kept on nervously joking, praying for something to stop him. "Is that why you did it? To get me down on my knees?"

"Mulder, I don't need a child to have you on your knees," Scully objected. "All I have to do is talk about aliens, witchcraft, spontaneous human combustion or…"

"Scully," he stopped her.

"What?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Marry me," he requested. It made her chuckle.

"I rest my case," she concluded. "You're too easy."

Mulder smiled and the awkwardness was gone. They were able to gaze at each other again with fondness and care, as always.

For a brief moment the elephant in the room, who was peacefully drawing on the floor, didn't exist.

But then she did. And she needed to be addressed, sooner rather than later.

"Is it true?" Mulder asked, trying not to sound desperate. Scully was a rational one, she could've had a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation for their situation, even if he couldn't find one himself. "I mean, I know it is, but I just can't believe it. Even as I'm standing here with you, looking at her over there… I still…"

"I know," Scully agreed. "I can't understand it either. How… And why… But she's here."

"How did you find her?" Mulder wanted to know.

"It's a long story," Scully sighed. "And you might want to have the engagement ring ready when you hear it. But I have to go back to her now."

"Yeah, sure."

"Do you want to come in?" Scully offered. "Meet her? She's a little shy, but she's a nice kid."

Mulder wanted to say no, but he nodded yes instead. He didn't know why. It was all surreal and he pinched himself, hoping against hope it was just a dream.

Nope.

It was real.

Too real.

He walked inside and a little girl with Scully's eyes raised her head to look at him, but quickly turned it away when he smiled at her.

"It's okay," Scully told her. Or maybe it was meant for him. "This is my friend Mulder. He came all the way from Washington to meet you. Don't you want to say hi, Emily?"

A little uber-Scully shook her head no, looking at the floor.

"I told you she's shy," Scully smiled at Mulder apologetically. He barely heard her, preoccupied with the little one.

It didn't take much to make the contact. Scully watched Mulder as he crouched next to Emily, asked her about her drawing and made funny faces. Emily giggled and started to relax. He was so natural with her and Scully felt a pang of jealousy. It felt as if Mulder and Emily shared something she wasn't a part of.

Of course they did! He was her father, Scully reminded herself, her very biologically related father!

But Scully was her mother, and she wasn't giving up on her. Not even for Mulder, if it came to that.

Mulder wasn't thinking anything at all. His full attention was dedicated to Emily, who brought a little bit of peace to his soul, just by existing. He didn't even know her, but he was totally and completely in love with her, as if he knew her forever and forever would.

He wanted to touch her, one last test to make sure that she's real. But he wasn't sure how to go about it. Should he stroke her hair or rest his palm on her shoulder? Pat her on the knee or simply take her by the hand? He didn't want to scare her, though. He may have been her father, but she didn't know it. To her, he was just a stranger. A cute, funny stranger, perhaps, but a stranger nonetheless.

Gathering the courage and thinking up excuses to hold this child, Mulder felt a cold air on his back, coming from the direction of the entrance. He stood up and turned around, instinctively protecting Emily with his body. The door opened with a creaking and someone walked inside, intruding on their little gathering.

 **Who was it? Please vote**

 **a)** **Margaret Scully**

 **b)** **Bill Scully**

 **c)** **Teena Mulder**

 **d)** **Walter Skinner**

 **e)** **CSM**

 **f)** **Alex Kryczek**

 **g)** **A stranger**


	3. Chapter 3

**You wanted Maggie. And you wanted a stranger. You also wanted it to be a social worker. So there you have it, both got the same number of votes, so both are coming in. ;)**

Maggie Scully entered the room, followed by a young, blonde woman.

"Ms. Robinson came to talk about your adoption request," she said to Scully before noticing Mulder. "Oh… Hello Fox."

"Adoption?" Mulder ignored the greeting, suddenly tensing. "What… is going on here?"

"Can we talk about this later?" Scully asked in shaky voice. "It's just an informative conversation, nothing official yet."

Mulder bit his lower lip and nodded, trying to keep calm.

"Okay," he said after a moment of silence. "I would like to be _informed_ too."

"Mulder, please," Scully practically whispered. "We can discuss this later."

"Why don't you stay with Emily and get to know her better?" Maggie suggested, trying to help. It was her mistake that got them in this situation. She spoke too soon, but how could she know? She was here mere 15 minutes ago and Fox was nowhere around. As far as she knew, he didn't even announce his arrival.

"That can wait," Mulder was determined. "She's my…" he stopped himself. He didn't want to scare Emily by revealing his paternity to her. It was too much for him, so how hard would it be for a little girl who just lost her parents?

"…business," he finished the sentence. "This concerns me too."

"Are you the…" social worker was searching for vague enough words as well. "…other relative?"

"Yes," he nodded, much to Scully's dismay. "I have a right to be included."

"Very well then," Ms. Robinson agreed, while Scully eyed her mother with an evil glance. "Come with me, both of you."

Mulder and Scully followed her, the tension between them growing exponentially with each step. When they left the room Maggie heaved a long sigh of relief. It was never a good idea to get between those two, but having them against each other would certainly release a hell on earth. She could only hope they'd work everything out with social worker and find a solution for their unusual situation.

She certainly wasn't able to figure it out herself. She was well prepared for becoming a grandma, any day now, but not like this. Maggie was expecting Bill's baby, not Dana's… child. A child.

A child who talked and walked and drew pictures on the floor.

A child with special needs and mysterious disease, whose adoptive parents died under strange circumstances.

A child whose biological parents didn't make her, consent on making her or have any idea of her existing.

A child who looked like her own deceased daughter, her beautiful Missy…

A child.

A granddaughter.

What would Bill say, if he could see her? What would her late husband do in this situation?

A child who spoke, bringing her back from her thoughts.

"What was it, darling?" Maggie asked her to repeat.

"Where is my mommy?" Emily watched her with big blue eyes, just like Missy used to look at her, with trust and wonder of a kid exploring the world.

"Your mom is in haven, sweetheart," Maggie regretfully reminded her.

"When is she coming back?" Emily insisted.

"She can't come back. We've talked about this, Emily. You have to be brave and strong. We will make sure you have everything you need, okay?"

"Okay," Emily nodded, not so much with understanding, but wanting to please her. "Will you be my mommy now?"

"No," Maggie's eyes filled with tears. "I am too old to be a mommy again."

A grandmother, she wanted to say, but she didn't. She couldn't promise that. It wasn't up to her, it was up to Dana and Fox, and that lovely Ms. Robinson…

Who were having a heated debate at that very moment.

A debate that Scully was losing, but surprisingly Mulder wasn't half bad at.

"What was your last long-term relationship?" Ms. Robinson asked them. She kept asking personal questions that Mulder and Scully never asked and didn't know about each other. They were both seriously embarrassed at this point, but they had to keep answering, for Emily's sake.

"I never really had one," Scully admitted.

"I was married," Mulder provided information that his partner had no idea about. "Briefly, but we dated for a few years before that."

"I see," Ms. Robinson seemed content with that, much to Scully's dismay. "And what was the reason for your divorce?"

"She cheated," Mulder shrugged. "I wanted to forgive her, but she chose to stay with him."

"You never told me," Scully sounded controllably pissed.

"It's not something I like to talk about," he said. "Why do you think I gave up dating?"

"You two don't talk much, do you?" Ms. Robinson played Eddy Van Blundth on them. Neither of them appreciated it, but they smiled appropriately.

"We are usually too busy," Scully tried to explain.

"As I understand, work comes first for you," Ms. Robinson nodded with a hint of judgement. Mulder valued work just as much as she did, Scully thought, but this social worker wasn't noticing any of that.

"Our work is primarily my life," Mulder admitted, coming to her rescue.

"But for you it's personal, it's about search for your sister," Ms. Robinson noted. "It's all about family for you, isn't it?"

"Yes," he nodded, feeling uncomfortable and torn between the need to help Scully and the need to get his child. _Their_ child, he had to remind himself. Emily was Scully's, just as much as his. Even if, in reality, she didn't belong to any of them, and judging by her parents' fate it would be better for both of them to stay away from her.

As if they could.

Mulder turned to Scully to look at her for the first time since they entered the improvised office with the social worker. She returned his gaze with teary eyes.

"I can't have children," she whispered. "This is my only chance."

For some reason, it made him think about her ova in his possession, that he never got around to mention to her…

He wasn't sure if he could give up on his child. Even for her.

"I want her to have Emily," he turned to Ms. Robinson. "What can I do?"

It wasn't giving up if Scully raised her. It was the best life he could think of for his child. Scully would certainly give her much more than he ever could. He would be around all the time. He already was, anyway.

"You can marry her," Ms. Robinson suggested nonchalantly. Mulder and Scully gaped at her, suddenly left speechless.

"I will process her request, but I have to be honest here. It doesn't look good. A single mother who lives for her work and never had a serious relationship is not exactly a favorable candidate. You, Mr. Mulder, have a slightly better chance. As a couple, on the other hand, your chances grow exponentially. You both seem to be invested in this child, so my advice is to go for it together."

"We can't," both Mulder and Scully spoke at the same time. "We are partners."

"Marriage is nothing but a partnership," Ms. Robinson smiled friendly. "And you are already good at that."

She took out two business cards and handed one to each of them.

"I'll give you time to think about it," she said. "Call me by the end of the day and I can process your request tomorrow. Or… your separate requests."

With that, she left the room, leaving Mulder and Scully speechlessly staring at her direction, afraid to turn to each other and consider her, well, _proposal_.

 **What will they decide? Please vote:**

 **A) They'll get married and apply for adoption together**

 **B) They'll both apply for adoption separately**

 **C) They decide only Mulder will apply since he has better chances**

 **D) Only Scully will apply, Mulder gives up for her sake**

 **E) Nobody applies. They both give up trying to adopt.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So, you want them to get married? Of course you would! ;) But those of you who said they are not ready, you were also heard! Thank you for voting and especially for all suggestions outside of voting options.**

"I knew this was a marriage trap!" Mulder joked, not knowing what else to do. He just had to break the silence _somehow_ before turning to his partner and dealing with her reaction.

"What do you want to do, Scully?" he asked carefully.

"You were married," Scully said quietly instead of answering him. Her eyes were filled with tears.

 _Jesus_ , Mulder thought. _What difference does that make?_

He already forgot he said it. Hell, he forgot ever being married. Why couldn't she let it go?

"I'm sorry," he sighed, figuring he should apologize, even if he didn't have any idea what he was apologizing for. "I wasn't hiding it from you. I just… I never think about that. But it's not a secret, Scully. If you'd just read my file…"

"Why would I read your file? You are my partner, not a case!"

"I've read yours," Mulder shrugged.

"That's because you're paranoid."

"In our line of work you have to be," he shrugged again. "But we are not here to discuss my first marriage. We were talking about my _second_ one."

"So it's just a number to you?" Scully sounded hurt, which confused Mulder even more.

"It's not a number," he sighed. "But it's our best chance to get Emily. You heard Ms. Robinson, she doesn't think you can do it by yourself, and frankly, I don't think that either."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we don't know what we're dealing with and how this child even came to be. We can't explain her parents' deaths or the tests she was subjected to. Adopting her is dangerous and since you are so determined to go on with it anyway, I won't let you do it alone. Have you even considered the risks?"

"Of course I have, Mulder. Regardless, this is the only right thing to do here."

"I agree. But you can't do it alone. If it gets you killed it won't do any good to Emily. You need backup."

"Which means… I should marry you? Mulder, this is crazy! Have you considered the consequences?"

"We get Emily?"

"We get separated and reassigned, maybe to another state."

"They can't send us to different states for getting married. It doesn't make sense. As for the x files, I'm sure that if we explain everything to Skinner he will allow us to remain partners."

"You want to tell him?"

"I'm not too thrilled about it, but I think we have to, Scully. We are going to need FBI resources to get to the bottom of this."

"How can you be so calm about this, Mulder? It's going to change our lives."

"It's just papers."

"Is it? So you don't expect to… consummate it?"

"What? No. I'm not ready to screw up everything we've worked so hard for. Unless… you want it?"

"No! No, of course not."

"All right then! Platonic marriage with platonic child. Just when I thought my life couldn't get more complicated…"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. We don't have a choice, not if we want Emily to be safe. Besides, it's not like I'm saving myself for anybody. Are you, Scully?"

"No, I suppose not."

They didn't think it through. FBI agents don't have the luxury of time to think about important decisions. They have to act on an impulse, follow their guts and hope for the best. One wrong move and they can end up dead, but contemplating the life-and-death decisions for too long will kill them for sure.

Neither Mulder nor Scully thought it would be too bad to be married to each other. They respected and trusted each other and their partnership was effective. After all, like their social worker had said, what is marriage but a partnership?

It could work, if they weren't such a different people. It's one thing to share an office, but share a home too and even raise a child together? Wouldn't they get sick of each other soon?

Not to mention the physical part that neither of them was willing to provide. Not that it was anybody's business, but they seemed to have been getting only the hard parts of this traditional union.

Could they possibly make it work?

Neither of them thought they could, but they signed the papers nonetheless. They took comfort in knowing that they weren't the first couple to get married over a kid.

Dana Mulder and Fox Scully. Mulder suggested it, think it would be a modern thing to do if they both changed their last names. Scully rejected the idea.

Vixen Scully and Dan Mulder – was his next suggestion. Rejected as well. He was too nervous to come up with better jokes.

Scully got them some cheap rings, to wear in court, not at home. She didn't want her family to know. Mulder kissed her in the forehead after it was over. It seemed too wrong not to kiss the bride, even if their hearts weren't in it.

They've spent their wedding night talking, just like they'd spent their first night on their first case. Only now they weren't talking about Samantha, but her niece Emily. Their child Emily.

Their honeymoon was spent in court.

Meanwhile, Matthew Scully was born, so Scully's family was too busy with him to pay close attention to what was going on in her life. It hurt her how easy it was to keep the unconventional marriage a secret from them.

When Emily joined the family, they were happy, but not as happy as they were for Matthew. Scully couldn't blame them, but it still felt unfair to her. Nobody even asked about girl's new last name and if they did they would know it wasn't Scully.

Emily was Mulder now. Scully wanted to do at least one traditional thing by giving her daughter her father's name. It was also a bit of a compromise, his last name but her apartment for the child to live in. He could visit whenever he wanted and sleep on the couch, which technically meant he was very short of moving in with her. As uncomfortable as that made her, Scully was grateful that she didn't have to do it all alone.

There was still one thing standing between Emily and her new life in Washington D.C. – her health.

 **All right, let's get this huge choice over with. What happens with Emily's health? Please vote:**

 **a) She's very sick and she dies**

 **b) She's very sick and needs to stay in the hospital**

 **c) She's sick, but doesn't have to stay in the hospital and is well enough to travel to her new home**

 **d) She doesn't have to be in the hospital, but is too sick to travel so far**

 **e) She is a perfectly healthy kid**


	5. Chapter 5

"Mommy said no more tests!" Emily warned Scully.

"I know, honey," Scully sighed sadly. "But we need to find out what's making you sick, so that we could help you get better. Okay?"

"No!" Emily refused. "I want my mommy!"

"Can I talk to you?" Mulder interrupted. "Outside?"

"Can't it wait?" Scully was losing patience, snapping at him rather than Emily.

"She's not going anywhere," Mulder noted. He was trying to give Emily a break, but he didn't want to confront Scully in front of her.

"When is mommy coming back?" Emily asked.

"I'll be back soon," Scully answered. She now did that every time Emily asked about her mum, trying to discreetly put herself in _mommy_ role without Emily noticing, until the child subconsciously starts to associate her with motherhood. It felt a little bit like cheating, but it was way less painful than having to repeatedly explain to the child that her mother was dead, like they used to do every time she asked. And Emily asked at least once every hour!

"I'm just going to talk to daddy really quick, we'll be right outside."

"Where is daddy?" Emily wanted to know.

"I'm here," Mulder said. "Can you do me a favor? Can you paint a horse for me? I would really like a picture of a horse to put on my fridge. What do you say?"

He handed her the paper and crayons that conveniently just happened to be there and Emily nodded, getting to work. Mulder quickly approached Scully and guided her out of the room.

"What is it Mulder?" Scully asked when Emily couldn't hear them anymore.

"I don't want to do this to her anymore," Mulder told her, preparing for an argument that he knew was coming.

"Do you think I'm enjoying it? If there was another way I would do it, but she's not well and we have no idea what's wrong with her."

"Her parents knew. Whatever treatments she was getting, they decided to stop them. It got them killed, Scully. I won't let that happen to you. To us."

"What choice do we have?"

Mulder thought for a second, then nodded determinately.

"Can she travel?" he asked.

"I don't see why not," Scully answered.

"Then let's take her home."

"What do you mean? We can't just take her…"

"We have a custody. We can finish the adoption process in Washington. There's no reason for her to be here."

"It's too soon. And we still don't know what…"

"You can do whatever the tests you want at home. But she's not our guinea pig, Scully. She's our _child_. I don't want her to stay in this hospital and your brother doesn't want her around his newborn baby, which is the main reason she's still here. She doesn't have to be in hospital, Scully. Take her home."

"I don't… I don't know what home is."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… we are married now and we will be expected to… live together."

"I don't have a spare room for Emily, you do. So I guess I'll be moving in with you," Mulder offered the solution.

"What?!"

"Just for show," he put both of his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. Or to calm himself down. He wasn't entirely sure. "I'll come over to help, stay until Emily's bed time, and she won't even notice that I'm not sleeping there. If anybody asks, she'll think I live with you and she won't have a reason to say anything different."

"I don't know about this, Mulder."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No, but…"

"You don't want me around all the time," Mulder sighed. "Maybe I can work late most days and come 'home' briefly to kiss her good night? We'll figure something out. Just get her out of here."

"Maybe you're right," Scully finally agreed. "There are too many painful memories for her here, this might be the change she needs."

"All right then," Mulder nodded. "Go back to her now. I'll call Ms. Robinson to inform her about our decision."

He turned to leave, but Scully grabbed his arm to stop him.

"I still miss my father, Mulder," she told him. "I think about him every day. I was daddy's little girl and I want Emily to have that too. I do want you around, Mulder. As much as you're comfortable with…"

"Then prepare to be getting sick of me often," Mulder joked gratefully, brushing her cheek with his hand.

"I won't," Scully, on the other hand, wasn't joking at all. "I will appreciate it. Not just for Emily, but for me as well. I don't want to do this alone."

Mulder nodded, not really knowing what to say to that. Maybe it worked for Scully, but in his family daddy's girls didn't end up well. He never seriously thought about having a child, but now that Emily was here it was all he could think about.

Bill Scully already had "the talk" with him, which more or less consisted of implications that Mulder can only suck at this role. Bill, whose son was merely a week old, considered himself an expert at fatherhood.

That man was now Emily's uncle. Which made him a family. More so, they were brothers in law, even if Bill didn't know of that arrangement yet. Mulder didn't want to be around when he finds out.

Then again, it could be an entertaining thing to watch. From a far. Really far. With binoculars, like how he watched Deep Throat's funeral.

"Are you ok, Mulder?" Scully's voice startled him.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Just a bit tired, that's all."

"Me too," Scully sighed. "Being a parent is more exhausted than I thought."

"Especially when your daughter comes with her own X file," Mulder agreed. "But this marriage stuff is a nice little bonus, isn't it?"

"I don't think we'll find time for bonuses, Mulder," Scully smiled. "Maybe in fifteen years, when she's in college."

As terrified as they both were, they were also happy. Being around Emily made them playful and carefree, not just with her, but with each other as well. She brought them closer in a way that they never imagined before.

With anybody else, finding a mutual kid would be a disaster, in so many more ways than they were willing to consider.

Two days later, Scully and Emily were on the plane to Washington, while Mulder stayed in San Diego for a few more days to continue with the investigation.

 **Ok, let's spice it up. What will Mulder find in San Diego?**

 **a) A cure for Emily**

 **b) The reason why she was created**

 **c) Another child**

 **d) The end of the road (He'll die. It happens)**

 **e) An old girlfriend**

 **f) A new girlfriend**

 **g) A way to become good friends with Bill**

 **h) A dog**

 **Meanwhile, what will Scully do back at home?**

 **a) Take a leave from work to care for Emily**

 **b) Enroll Emily in kindergarten**

 **c) Hire a nanny**

 **d) Fall in love**

 **e) Die**

 **f) Invent a cure for Emily**

 **g) Quit FBI**

 **h) Discover her cancer is back**

 **More than one answer to each question is acceptable.**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, nobody voted for Mulder or Scully to die? How weird. :D And then, no one voted for Mulder to become friends with Bill. Is friendship with Bill really as bad as dying? :D And for Scully, falling in love is as bad as dying? :D**

 **Fine, none of that will happen. :)**

 **Let's see what can happen. Judging by your votes, Mulder has to find a cure for Emily, maaaybe through an ex-girlfriend (Diana was mentioned). I'll give you that. Another child takes the high second place, so even though it isn't happening right now, keep voting and you may still get it later (a few readers requested it to be connected to Emily's cure, which inspired me for… You'll see).**

 **Scully stays at home with Emily. You were clear on that one. ;)**

Mulder was getting more and more restless. His investigation wasn't leading him anywhere and he missed Emily more than he was willing to admit to himself.

It's only been a few days, but Emily was sick and she may not have had much time left. She could die far away from him, while he was searching for a cure that may or may not even exist.

Being away from Scully didn't help either, especially since he was still staying at her brother's house. It wasn't a pleasant experience even with a partner by his side, but now, all alone, he didn't know how much longer he could survive Bill's deadly stares and Mathew's screaming sessions. It was worse than the crappiest motel he's ever been to.

Yet, he stayed. He didn't want to offend Mrs. Scully by leaving.

He wasn't spending much time indoors, anyway. He was rather busy with discovering dead ends, one after another.

Then, out of nowhere, he found more than he was looking for. More than he hoped to find. More than he ever wanted…

"Diana. Why am I surprised to find you here?"

"Fox. It took you long enough. I've been expecting you."

"What do you want? To retrieve your knife from my back?"

"Don't be dramatic, Fox. I want to help you. Help Emily."

Angered, Mulder grabbed her and pinned her to the wall, using his body to block her potential escape. She moaned, which didn't sound like it was caused from discomfort. Not completely, at least.

"What do you know about Emily?" he demanded.

"Everything. I know how she was made, I know who gave birth to her, who adopted her… I know what would've happened to her if I didn't give her to your partner."

"My partner? What are you talking about?"

"I was the one who called her, Fox."

"She told me it was her sister."

"Her _dead_ sister?"

"How do you know that?"

Still holding her pressed to the wall, he brought his face closer to hers, trying to kill her with his gaze. It was a handy skill he learned from Bill Scully. But Diana wasn't intimidated, this woman never was. It's why he once fell in love with her and after all this time he still wasn't immune to her touch.

As if she could feel it, well, of course she could, she pressed her lips to his and it took all the strength in the world for him to pull away.

But he did.

"You probably also know that I'm a married man now," he informed her.

"I do," her voice was low, seductive. He had to release her and take a step back if he didn't want to be caught in her net all over again. And he didn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't. As tempting as it was.

"I also know it's only on paper and that you aren't getting any."

"That is none of your concern."

"There was a time when it used to be."

"That time is long gone, sweetheart. All that matters now is my daughter. I want to know who's behind this. What's been done to her? You'd better start talking!"

"I can't tell you anything about the project, I'm afraid. But I can tell you that I wanted her to be mine. We tried with my ova at first, but the fetuses weren't viable. It seems my genetic material get rejected by the… Well, I can't talk about that. I'm afraid I can't tell you what's wrong with her. But there's one thing I can do. I can tell you how to fix her."

"Why? Why should I trust anything you say?"

"Because I'm the only reason she's still alive. More importantly, I'm the only one who can give you the cure for her. And in order to do so, I risk everything, including my own life."

"Where is mommy?" Emily asked.

"I'm here, sweetie," Scully answered automatically, popping her head from the kitchen. "I'm making lunch. Do you like peanut butter?"

Emily nodded, looking at her drawing on the floor in front of her. There was something about that kid and the floors. She went on with her drawings until Scully returned with the sandwiches.

"But my real mommy, where is she?" Emily decided to reformulate the question.

"I know you miss her," Scully smiled gently and sadly, sitting on the floor in front to her. She put the plate between them. "It's okay to miss her, Emily. It's okay to be sad. But we can't bring her back, darling, nobody can."

"It's not fair," Emily shook her head, then went on with drawing.

"I know it isn't," Scully agreed. "But I'm here now, and I'm going to take a good care of you, okay? Will you help me eat those now?"

Emily nodded and reached for a sandwich, more to please Scully than out of hunger.

"Maybe we should wash your hands first," Scully remembered. "Come."

She took Emily by the hand and led her to the bathroom. The little girl went obediently.

"Are you my mommy now?" she asked.

"If you want me to be. If not, that's okay too. Nobody is going to force you."

"Do you know how to read?"

"I think I can manage," Scully chuckled.

"Will you read me stories before bed?"

"Of course, darling. Do you like Moby Dick?"

"What is that?" Emily wondered.

"Your parents never read it to you?" Scully was surprised. "Well, prepare yourself for a real adventure this evening!"

She helped the kid wash her hands and they returned to the living room floor to eat their lunch.

"This is nice," Scully noted between bites. "It's like picnic."

Emily nodded with a shy smile. It seemed like she reached her talking limit and closed off. Wherever she retreated, Scully hoped it was a safe place.

The knock on the door startled them both.

"Wait here," Scully said, for no particular reason. Emily was the most obedient kid in the world, and also the most static child ever. Wherever you put her she just stayed there, seemingly content, until you came back for her again.

Scully wasn't expecting anybody, least of all her boss, who her unexpected guest turned out to be.

"Hi," Skinner said awkwardly.

"Hi, sir," Scully responded. "Is something wrong? Did you not get all the papers for my maternity leave? I thought I faxed you everything."

"No, that's all fine, Agent Scully," Skinner assured her. "I just… I wanted to see if you needed anything."

Scully stared at him, confused.

"I'm here as a friend," he quickly tried to clarify. "Not as your superior. I just… I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thank you, sir," she said politely. "But we are not exactly celebrating."

"No, I… I didn't mean your marriage. I was referring to a… kid. I mean… No matter how they come, children are always a blessing."

"Yes, they are," Scully smiled widely and proudly. Now that he mentioned it, it only felt natural for friends to come and celebrate your child. Unfortunately, she didn't have any friends who could possibly understand anything about Emily and see her as anything other than some kind of abomination.

Well, except maybe that one friend who knew more than anybody else ever could what she and Mulder faced on a daily basis.

The man standing in front of her and handing her a small bouquet of her favorite flowers.

"Thank you, sir," she said with a real gratitude. "Do you want to meet her?"

"Can I?" Skinner's whole face lightened up. "I brought a little something for her, too."

"Of course! She's a little shy, but she doesn't mind company."

She led him to the living room and introduced him to Emily.

"Are you my new daddy?" Emily wanted to know.

"I should be so lucky," Skinner chuckled. "No. No, I'm just a friend."

"Is my new mommy going to die, too?" Emily asked without her usual hesitation, as if she somehow figured out he was the boss and so assumed he had all the answers.

"No," Skinner said firmly. "I would never let that happen."

"I'm not going anywhere," Scully assured her as well. "Sir, did you want something to drink?"

"Yes, I could use a coffee, thank you, Scully."

"I'll be right back. Can you watch over her for a second?"

"Sure. No problem."

It wasn't like Emily would wander off or anything, but Scully preferred for her to have a company.

When she returned a few minutes later with coffee and cookies, she found Skinner on the floor, eating peanut butter sandwiches with Emily, who played with a stuffed alien he got her.

Alien! He got her an alien! Scully wasn't sure if he was trying to humor Mulder with that gesture, or piss him off. Or her, for that matter.

In any case, the scene in front of her was hilarious. She couldn't wait to tell Mulder all about Skinner's… domestic side.

But when Mulder finally returned, she didn't have a chance to. His news was more urgent, more serious, and much more bizarre.

He claimed to have found a cure for Emily. A cure! A way to make her be a perfectly normal and healthy little girl who gets to grow up free from tests and hospitals.

It sounded too good to be true.

And it was.

The potential cure didn't come without a price. And complications. So many complications…

"Another child?!" Scully stared at Mulder in disbelief. "Are you out of your mind?!"

"I checked it out, Scully. I have proofs. _Medical_ proofs. It's all here so you can check it all out yourself. It will make more sense to you than it does to me. I know it's a lot to take in, but this may be our only chance, so we owe it to Emily to at least consider it."

"To make another child and use it like a lab rat, Mulder? I thought you were against those things."

"We'd only need a placenta. The child wouldn't be touched. But it has to be a sibling. It has to be ours."

"Well, that could be a problem…"

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't have a chance to talk to you about this, but I think I've mentioned it… I can't have children, Mulder. I was left barren with whatever tests they did on me."

"Yeah, about that…"

Now Mulder looked at the floor, like a naughty child caught in a lie.

"What?" Scully was alarmed. "What is it? There's something you aren't telling me, isn't it?"

"Um, yes, I'm afraid so. There's something I haven't told you, Scully, and I hope you can forgive me and understand why I kept it from you…"

"For god's sake, Mulder, just tell me what it is!"

"During my investigation into your illness, I found your… ova, stored in a government lab."

"My… What? H… How?"

"It was taken from you. All of it. They used it to make Emily. I don't know how they got my… I'm not sure I want to know, to be honest."

"I can't believe this…"

"I know. It's a lot to take in. Take your time. Read the files. Maybe you can come up with another way to cure her. There doesn't seem to be one, but I'm not a medical doctor. If anybody can find it, it's you."

"What if… Mulder, what if I can't? Would you really be willing to father another child?"

"I wouldn't be the one to carry it. It's up to you, Scully."

"This is a bit too much. I already have one child out of nowhere that I can't explain. A sick child. I'm single… and secretly married. I don't know if I can handle a pregnancy on top of it."

"You wouldn't be alone in it. You know that."

"Yeah, but what do I say to people? To my family?"

"Just tell them it was a lonely night…"

 **Alright, let's make it really simple this time. Are they going to try to have another child to save Emily? Please vote:**

 **a) Yes**

 **b) No**


	7. Chapter 7

Scully was buried in papers. They were all around her, on the coffee table in front of her, on the couch where she was sitting, on the floor beside her feet…

So much work to do and so little time…

She didn't hear Mulder knocking, coming inside or even greeting her. He had to sit next to her and touch her shoulder to get her attention.

"God, Mulder!" she jumped. "You scared me."

"Sorry. How did it go?"

"Doctor Randall says we have a good chance," she watched him carefully now, trying to read his reaction and feelings, if any, that he wouldn't be eager to share with her. "We can start right away."

"Good," Mulder nodded, with unreadable expression on his face. It was driving Scully crazy.

"Do you even want this?" she asked him. "There might be another way, we don't…"

"Do you?" he stopped her. She wasn't the only one hiding her cards until presented with more information. "Because it doesn't have to be you. We can find a surrogate mother. Money is not a problem."

"Mulder, I won't let a stranger carry my baby. Not again!"

"When you put it that way…"

"It doesn't have to be you, either," Scully offered. "I can say I found anonymous donor, I can raise it by myself…"

"No," Mulder shook his head. "I don't want my wife impregnated with _anonymous_ donor. I want to be there for you. All of you. Unless," he lowered his head, turning away from her. "Unless you don't want me to."

Scully sighed and covered his hand with hers. He didn't respond so she gently squeezed him.

"Mulder," she whispered, trying to get his attention back. He finally forced himself to look at her again, afraid of her response more than he would ever admit. After Emily and Samantha, he never wanted anything more in his life and he wasn't sure he could live with rejection. But Scully's eyes assured him he had nothing to worry about. She wasn't going to keep his potential child away from him. Her words only confirmed it.

"Emily adores you, Mulder," she smiled. "You are a wonderful father to her and I want the other child to have that. There's no one I'd rather do this with."

He wanted to kiss her for that. He wanted to kiss her and take her to her bed, then make love to her, only for her, like no one has ever done before. He wanted to pleasure every part of her body, take her to the ecstasy she never thought possible and give her this baby in the moment of perfect pleasure and happiness.

He didn't want to fill sterile cups in sterile rooms while the doctors endlessly poked and probed her, filling her with cocktails of hormones and medicines and inseminated her with cold instruments.

She deserved so much more than that. Their baby deserved more. But he wasn't able to give it to them.

"It won't be easy," Scully said. "In my age lots of things can go wrong. I might not be able to work for a large part of the pregnancy. Field work will certainly be out of question."

"Of course. I'm glad I don't have to argue with you about that."

"You'll need a new partner."

"I can work on my own."

"Maybe, but I can't worry about you. It's not good for the baby."

Mulder instinctively looked at her belly, imagining the said baby was already in there. It seemed unreal, more magical than anything he ever found in the X files.

"How about we make that baby first," he suggested with a playful smile. "And worry about the obstacles when, _if_ they appear."

"It won't be easy," Scully repeated.

"Nothing ever is for us," he shrugged, leaning closer to her and contemplating going for that kiss anyway. Why not give her that moment of perfect pleasure, even if it can't result in a baby? She was his wife, for god's sake!

She looked up for it, or at least he wanted to believe that. With her eyes slightly closed and mouth slightly opened… It's been so long, so incredibly long for both of them…

"Mulder!" she suddenly jumped, breaking the magic. "Where is Emily?"

"She's…" Mulder looked around the room. "…here. Probably in her room. I left her in the hall."

"You left her in the hall?! Jesus, Mulder, you know she always stays exactly where you put her! You can't leave her standing in the hall!"

She hurried towards the hall, while Mulder mumbled some apologies. He waited for her to grab Emily and bring her in, but when she opened the door she just stood there, doing nothing.

Alarmed, Mulder followed her.

When he reached her the first thing he noticed was her peaceful smile. Relieved, he stood behind her and followed her gaze.

She was watching Emily, patiently standing in the hall in her cute pink dress with white dots and two pockets. Emily was carefully taking little sunflower seeds from her right pocket, one by one, then meticulously peeled the husk from it and carefully put it in the left pocket, before eating the seed. This work took forever and Mulder and Scully just stood there without moving, as if they've been hypnotized, and carefully observed their child, fascinated by her actions.

The process repeated itself a few times, before Scully dared to whisper, trying not to disturb her.

"What have you done to my child?"

"I tried to teach her how it's done," Mulder chuckled. "But she insists on doing it the wrong way."

"She must have inherited that stubbornness from you," Scully suggested teasingly.

"No, I'm pretty sure those are your genes," Mulder whispered into her ear, which tickled her. Trying to move away, she ended up with her head leaning against his chest and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her belly, pulling her closer.

Neither of them wanted to move. They inherited that from Emily, just by watching her. She didn't even notice them, or maybe she did but decided to ignore them in favor of sunflower seeds. Now, whose genes were those?

"We forgot about her," Scully whispered. "How can we have another kid, when we can't remember to take care of the one we already have?"

"We'll manage," Mulder whispered back. "Look at her. She's fine. You know, I wasn't meant to grow up as an only child. I want her to have what I didn't."

"Me too. I want her to have what I had."

Scully closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying Mulder's strong embrace. She could do anything with this man behind her, anything at all.

"Hey, Starbuck!" Mulder suddenly called and Emily raised her head, dropping the half-peeled seed. "How about we get you out of that shoes and to your room for a little rest? It's been a long day."

Emily nodded and raised her arms toward him.

Scully felt a mixture of warmth and jealousy when Mulder released her and went to pick up Emily.

"Starbuck?" she raised her eyebrow questionably.

"You've been telling her about your father, haven't you?" Mulder guessed. "She asked me to call her that. Is it ok with you?"

"Yeah, I just… I'm surprised, that's all. Of course it's ok."

Mulder nodded and turned to go, but Emily stopped him.

"Wait! I want to kiss mommy!"

"Of course," Mulder agreed, shifting her towards Scully cheek.

"Mommy wants to kiss you too," Scully said, returning the peck.

Satisfied, Emily turned to Mulder. "Do you want to kiss mommy?"

"Oh, I want to, but I'm afraid she is going to bite me. She has very sharp teeth, like this," he made a grimace, exposing his teeth and Emily giggled.

"Mommy doesn't bite!" she insisted. "Tell him, mommy!"

"Um, I don't know…" Scully pretended to think about it. "Does daddy want to take a chance?"

"Always," daddy smiled and gave her a peck in the cheek, quickly moving away in case she wasn't kidding about those teeth.

"No," Emily said tiredly. "In the lips. Mommy and daddy who died always kissed on the lips."

They had no choice. Emily was right, it was the proper way to do it and if they wanted to play a married couple they had to go all the way. Well, maybe not _all_ the way, but this was a bare minimum.

So daddy did what daddy had to do. He pressed his lips to mommy's, gently, as a friend. She didn't bite, she smiled, so he smiled as well. He turned to check if Emily approved, but her eyes were closed and her breathing heavy. She wasn't feeling well again.

"Take her to bed," mommy said, stroking her hair. "I'll get her medicine."

Mulder nodded. "Come on, Starbuck," he whispered to Emily while he carried her. "You're going to be alright. You just need some rest."

Scully hurried to her medicine cabinet. Her heart was breaking every time she saw Emily like that and she could only hope it would work. Pregnancy, birth, transplantation… So many things had to work in order for Emily to live. And have a brother or sister.

Scully thought about her siblings. One brother who was never around, one who despised her because of her work and a sister who died for her. It didn't seem so fun now, but she loved each and every one of them. No matter what, it was worth having them.

Two weeks later, Scully was lying on the hospital bed, receiving the only two viable embryos. One of them had to take. There were no more ova, no more options. This was her last chance.

One of them had to live.

 **Where do you want this to go?**

 **a) Mulder and Scully grow closer - for a little friendly co-parenting and maaaaaybe flirting (but no sex and true romance, I don't see it happening at this point, there will be time for that later, I promise. I know you all want it and I keep that in mind, but I'm not ready yet)**

 **b) They distant from each other - for a little angst**

 **c) Mulder meets someone and tries to start a relationship - for some super awkwardness**

 **d) Scully meets someone - to make it even more awkward**

 **e) Scully ends up in hospital because of pregnancy-related problems - for some Mulder-comfort**

 **f) Mulder ends up in hospital - for some Scully-comfort**

 **g) Skinner ends up in hospital - I don't know what for…**

 **Now, let's try some secret vote.**

 **I'm not going to ask if you want Scully to get pregnant, because I know you do. Instead, I'm asking you to choose the baby's gender, eye and hair colors (it's both Mulder's or both Scully's colors, or one from each). But, I also want it to be random, because in real life you don't get to choose those things. So I wrote down all the combinations (plus one extra for twins), wrote them down and shuffled them, for a random order. You can vote by choosing a number from 1 to 9.**

 **Also, tell me what other characteristics of the baby you want to know and I'll put them up for a secret vote in the next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, you really wanted Mulder in the hospital, so let's try that!**

 **And they are getting closer, yeah, yeah, I didn't forget the main request. ;)**

 **For baby's gender, eye and hair color, the winner was number 4! I will not tell you what's under this number just yet (even though I'm dying to!), but I will reveal one of other numbers in each chapter, so the possibilities will keep reducing. Let's see what was under number 1:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) ?**

 **3) ?**

 **4)** **?** **ß** **THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) ?**

 **6) ?**

 **7) ?**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

 **Sorry for taking me so long to update. I keep getting busy or chaotic and stuff like that…**

"Please stop bringing me pictures of her, Fox," Teena Mulder waved her hand in annoyance. "I will not change my mind."

"She's my daughter, mom!" Mulder insisted. "I just want you to meet her. Just once! That is all I'm asking."

"And then what? I'll fall in love with her and we'll be a happy family? That's never going to happen, Fox."

"Why mom? She's my daughter, your granddaughter."

Teena Mulder remained quiet. She picked up her cup of tea, took a sip and placed it down again, gently and carefully. She repeated the similar ritual with a biscuit this time, then slowly wiped her hands. Finally, as if she just remembered her son was still there, she raised her head and pierced him with her gaze.

"Tell me, Fox, is your partner pregnant yet?" she asked him, out of the blue.

Mulder stared at her in shock and disbelief. He hadn't told her anything about Emily's disease, the potential cure, Scully's ova or any of that stuff. She made it clear that she didn't want to know, so he concentrated on getting her to meet Emily, for a start. How did she…

"How do you know we're trying?" he finally managed to speak again.

"Oh, Fox," Teena shook her head. "You tell me this child just appeared and you want to believe she's yours. Do you really think you are the first man who ever tried that? Raise a child that didn't belong to him? Have another to save the first one? As a sacrificial lamb to those that will never reveal their true identity to you? You think it was your idea? You think you can outsmart them? You are not nearly as smart as you think you are, son."

"Mom," Mulder said deeply and harshly, while his whole body shook. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

"Oh please, Fox," she wasn't the least bit intimidated by him. "Don't ask questions that you are not prepared to hear answers to."

"I'm serious, mom! Is this about Samantha? What are you hiding from me? What do you know?"

"All I know is that I was like you once. I thought I could have a daughter. Keep her safe. You know how that worked out. If you want to play daddy with your partner, go ahead! But don't expect me to be a part of it."

Teena stood up and turned her back to him, slowly walking away. She said what she had to say and as far as she was concerned, this ridiculous conversation was over.

But Mulder had other ideas. He caught up with her and grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving. In a swift motion he roughly turned her around, forcing her to face him.

Now there was fear in her eyes. She wasn't tough anymore, she was just… old.

"Fox, you're hurting me," she protested and he immediately released her.

"I need to lie down," she informed him and he nodded, while his heart sunk. He lowered his head so that he wouldn't be forced to watch her leaving.

He knew now there was no point to try again. His mother would never accept Emily or her potential sibling. Not because they were Scully's, but because they were his. She didn't want to be a part of his family, no matter how he built it.

And she was the only one left. His children just lost a chance to ever meet their grandmother, the only living relative from his side.

"Are you still here?" Teena unexpectedly came back.

"I'm still here," he confirmed, raising his head. He hoped against all hope that his mother returned to tell him she changed her mind and that she'll allow him to take her to Scully's place to meet Emily, or bring the child here, whatever she preferred.

Instead, he was given a cloth doll. Very ugly, old doll.

"It's been in my family for generations," Teena explained. "Your grandmother gave it to Samantha. There's really no reason for this to remain in my house."

She didn't wait for response, just disappeared again, like a ghost. Mulder stared at the doll for a long time, not knowing what to do with it. Was it a gift for Emily? For the second child? For him?

Either way, it was the only thing his mother had to give.

She was right about something, though: he really didn't want to know. But he had to. He already tried everything else and it didn't work. Running away from home, not talking to his parents, moving to Europe, moving back home, marriage, divorce, even a couple of times that he found who he believed was Samantha. But it never was. Nothing ever quieted Samantha's voice in his head, screaming his name…

He wanted everybody else to call him Mulder, because Samantha kept screaming _Fooox!_ in his head and any mention of his first name made her screams a little bit louder.

He tried putting it behind him, but he owed it to Samantha to never give up the search, not just the search for her, but for the truth about whatever happened to her.

Now it wasn't just about Samantha anymore. It was about Emily too. A sweet little Scully's daughter that shared his genes, called him daddy, and made his heart burst with joy every time she smiled. He would never let anything happen to her!

His mom was old and her memory unreliable, so even if he pressed her he wouldn't get anything useful out of her. But she strongly insinuated Emily's connection to Samantha and it was an issue he couldn't ignore. One way or another, he had to find answers, and as usual, all roads led to the Cigarette Smoking Man.

Cancerman was never easy to find, but Mulder had some experience with that. All he had to do was make a few phone calls, which he did, and pass by a few security guards.

Which he didn't.

He was left to bleed out on the street, with a hole in his head.

It hurt terribly at first, but then he felt numb. He fought desperately to stay awake, knowing if he closed his eyes, he may never open them again.

Samantha came and he knew she was a vision. He wanted to beg her to stay. Or at least not to take him with her. Not now, when he had so much to lose!

He saw his mom, looking young and happy, holding Emily by the hand. And Scully, kneeling next to him and caring for his wounds, telling him that everything was ok.

And it was. He was surrounded with his women and it was all he needed. All he ever wanted.

But it wasn't real.

None of it was real.

He had to stay awake and not give into a sweet fantasy.

He had to stay.

Awake.

Stay.

Had to…

Awake…

A…

Scully was gone. Emily too. Mom and Samantha were also nowhere around. There was nothing and nobody around anymore, not even the cold street washed in his blood…

As the darkness washed over him, he couldn't remember how to keep fighting…

"Mulder," the soft, shaky voice brought him into a cold, sterile room.

"Am I dead?" he turned to the source of the voice, the person whose palm was sweating around his, keeping him grounded.

"No," Scully gasped, barely suppressing tears. "Though not for the lack of trying."

"What…" the pain in his head was sharp and piercing, making it hard to think, let alone speak. "What happened?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me. You were shot in the head and it's a miracle that you are still here. Mulder… You've been in a coma for over three weeks now, and after a month the chances of you ever waking up would fall drastically and become almost nonexistent. You scared the hell out of me, Mulder!"

"Sor…" he tried to apologize, but the pain grew exponentially and suddenly he couldn't even breathe.

Scully quickly wiped a lonely tear from her cheek, switching to her doctor mode, and gave him the much needed pain medication. She then pressed her palm on his forehead and ordered him to be still.

"Shhh… Rest now. It's ok."

It took a few long, agonizing minutes before the drugs finally kicked in and he managed to breathe again. His eyes were too heavy now and he wasn't able to open them again.

"Scully…" his voice shook with fear and begging.

"I'm here," he heard her saying and felt his hand being lifted and pressed to her lips. He felt her hot tears, now silently, but freely falling.

He wanted to tell her so many things, but the thoughts weren't forming in his brain.

There were only feelings.

Then nothing again.

She smiled the next time he woke up.

He tried to smile back.

It hurt.

Everything hurt, but this time it wasn't overwhelming. It was bearable. Barely, but still.

"Are you ready to tell me how you got yourself in this condition?" Scully wasn't wasting time.

"I…" he hesitated, trying to remember. His memory was fuzzy and overlapping. "I was looking for Cancerman."

"Why?"

"My mom… She said… something… Samantha… Emily!"

Suddenly alarmed, he tried to get up, but Scully swiftly pushed him back down.

"Where is Emily?"

"Close," Scully's expression was not readable and it scared him. He could feel her hiding something.

"Is she ok?" he demanded to know.

"No," Scully shook her head slowly, with great sorrow. "She's in this hospital, too. ICU. It's gotten worse and with her condition it's hard to make prognosis."

"I have to see her," Mulder tried to get up again, but Scully easily pushed him back.

"You can't. You are not out of the woods yourself yet. Don't make a scene. There's nothing we can do for her at the moment."

"Then you go to her. Don't leave her alone because of me."

"Mulder, I can't…"

"You are her mother! You are a doctor. You _need_ to be with her."

"I can't. It would be too risky."

"For whom?"

"For… the baby."

Mulder gave her a puzzled look. Emily made it clear that she didn't like being called _baby_ , so neither of them referred to her like that.

"I'm pregnant," Scully smiled with a mixture of joy, fear and many other conflicting emotions.

Mulder stared at her, searching his messed up memory for anything that could explain her words, but failing miserably.

"But you… can't be," was all he came up with.

"You really don't remember, do you?" she chuckled, amused.

"You aren't barren?" he dared to ask.

"Well, except for this one… Yes, I think I still am."

"How, then? When did you even…? I mean, who did you…?"

"Mulder," she tried to serious, although she clearly was amused. "I'm carrying your child."

He looked at her for a moment, searching for clues that it was a joke, but not finding any. Scully's cheerfulness seemed too genuine for a prank. Mulder closed his eyes, trying to concentrate.

"Damn!" he finally reacted. "How did I forget doing _that_ with you?"

"Don't worry," Scully chuckled again. She enjoyed his confusion more than she was willing to admit. It was her payback to him for ditching her again and getting his head practically blown up. "I wasn't there when you did it. _Alone_."

"What are you saying?"

"Rest," she advised. "It will all come back to you."

Obediently, he closed his eyes and relaxed. He waited for what seemed to be a dream to end and to wake up in a normal world, where Scully wasn't pregnant with his baby. Pregnant? With his child? He couldn't imagine having a child at all, let alone with his partner.

Then he remembered that Emily was just that. Everything else suddenly fell into its place too. Mostly. Or so it seemed.

He opened his eyes again and gave Scully an apologetic, embarrassed look.

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."

"No, you're not," she smiled. "You are just heavily drugged and brain damaged."

She couldn't suppress a laugh anymore, so she burst into it. "You should have seen your face!"

Mulder watched her in amusement. It used to be a rare sight to see her laughing at all, let alone so heartily. He wanted to cherish every moment of it.

 _Hormones_ , he remembered. Trying to get pregnant really messed up her hormones. It wasn't an easy ride, for neither of them.

As in confirmation of his thoughts, her laughter turned into desperate sobs and flooding tears.

He took her hand to steady her. There wasn't anything else he could do in his condition.

"I'm so afraid, Mulder," she cried. "I'm afraid of losing this baby. I'm afraid it will be too late for Emily. So much can go wrong, and for me, for us, it always does! Last year I couldn't even dream of becoming a mother and now I have two precious miracles and I'm paralyzed with fear of losing them both…"

"You won't. Calm down. It's not going to happen. We are not losing either of them."

"You can't know that," she said, desperately wanting him to promise it anyway. To prove her wrong, once and for all, in the only thing that now mattered, like nothing had ever mattered before.

"We won't lose them, Scully. You have to believe me. _We_ have to believe it. Emily is strong. She's a fighter, and the baby will be too."

Scully sniffed, calming down a bit. She looked at her husband with adoration, and gently brushed her hand through his hair.

"I thought I was going to lose you too," her voice was barely above whisper.

Mulder took her hand and brought it to his lips. "I had a good reason to come back. Our family."

Scully sniffed again and lowered her lips to his. He opened his mouth a little and so did she, for a gentle and warm kiss, just the way Emily taught them.

"Thank you, Mulder," Scully barely moved enough to speak. "For believing enough for both of us."

"Always," he assured her, closing his eyes and drifting into sleep, exhausted.

"Rest now," Scully said gently. She leaned back into the chair, making herself as comfortable as possible, and placed her hand protectively on her stomach. "We will be here."

But when Mulder woke up again, Scully wasn't there anymore.

Someone else was.

 **Who was there? Please vote:**

 **a) Maggie Scully**

 **b) Teena Mulder**

 **c) Cancerman**

 **d) Skinner**

 **e) Emily**

 **f) Frohike**

 **g) Flukeman**

 **h) Diana Fowley**

 **Also, please pick a number from 1 to 9! I need it to develop baby's personality :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**All right, let's uncover another choice of the baby's gender and appearances that isn't happening:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) ?**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) ?**

 **6) ?**

 **7) ?**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

* * *

The smell of cigarette smoke woke Mulder up. He opened his eyes to see the last face he ever wanted to see – but the one he almost gave his life to see nonetheless.

"Feeling better, Fox?" the CSM asked with a gentle smile. Whoever didn't know him might have thought he was showing genuine concern.

But Mulder knew him, better than he really wanted to, though not as much as he needed to.

"What do you want?" he asked sharply. He had an urge to jump at CSM's throat and squeeze information out of him, along with his poisonous life, but the head wound kept him glued to the bed, vulnerable and powerless.

"I want your daughter, Mulder," CSM casually blew the smoke.

Mulder's blood instantly boiled and his heart started to pump furiously, but his body remained almost paralyzed, unable to respond to sudden surge of adrenaline.

"If you touch Emily, I swear…" he started to threaten, but his opponent remained unimpressed.

"I'm done with Emily," CSM said with despise, through smoke that smelled like hell. "She wasn't useful to me after all. I want the next one."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your little secret, your impregnation of your partner. You have a good taste, by the way, but it's not going to work. I have the real cure for Emily. It's yours, if you want it."

"In exchange for what? My other child? Forget it!"

"Only if it's another girl. I have no use for a boy, so if the baby is male, you get to keep both of them. Fifty-fifty chance is a fair deal, don't you think? Refuse, and I'll make sure you lose them both."

"Is that what you said to my father?" Mulder's eyes radiated with hate, but CSM was immune to it. "To my mother?"

"If I have," CSM smiled, approaching him. "Then it is your proof that I keep my promises."

"You go to hell!"

"How about…" CSM came even closer and took something out of his pocket, throwing the cigarette on the floor. "…you come with me?"

Mulder noticed him holding a syringe now and helplessly watched the damn thing approaching his neck, unable to defend himself.

"Very noble of you," he said sarcastically. "Taking a man when he's down."

"It won't hurt much," CSM promised, sticking the needle in him.

Mulder gasped despite trying to remain to calm, and closed his eyes. He prayed to the god he didn't believe in to give Scully strength and wisdom to protect their children alone, no matter what it takes.

He didn't see her or hear her coming into the room.

But CSM did.

"Put that down and step away from him," she ordered, pointing a gun at his head. "NOW!"

CSM turned around, holding his hands up and half-empty syringe in one of them.

"Certainly," he smiled, showing no fear, as always.

"Give it to me!" Scully demanded, taking one hand off the gun to reach towards the syringe. CSM obediently placed it in her palm, still slyly smiling.

"What is this?" her voice was shaky, but determined. "What did you give him?"

"Have it tested," CSM started to light another cigarette, unfazed by his life hanging on a thread. "You are a scientist, right? Figure it out."

"Mulder!" she called, still having her eyes fixed on her worse enemy. "Are you all right? Talk to me, Mulder!"

But Mulder didn't answer.

Scully felt a strong wave of vertigo coming, and before she realized what was happening she was on the floor, with a concerned nurse above her.

"Take it easy," the nurse warned her, but Scully sat up quickly, looking around in alert. CSM was gone. So was the syringe. Only her gun was still there, now lying on the floor.

"I'm fine, it's just the pregnancy," she said, standing up. Nurse helped her, still warning her that she needed rest. But it wasn't anywhere near time for rest.

"Mulder!" Scully gasped, approaching his bed.

"He's sleeping," the nurse said, pulling the chair for her.

"Then wake him up! Mulder! Come on, Mulder, wake up!"

She checked his vital signs and he seemed to be breathing fine, but she couldn't wake him up. Now the nurse got alarmed as well and called for backup. Two doctors quickly arrived and the nurse managed to push Scully out of the room.

Bewildered, Scully run through the hospital halls, looking for the Smoking man, but there wasn't even a trail of smoke left after him… He just vanished.

When she returned, defeated, to Mulder's room, her mother was waiting in front of it.

"They say it's not coma," Maggie informed her. "They are running more tests, but he just seems to be heavily sedated. He won't wake up until tomorrow, but he will wake up. He is going to be fine."

Scully closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against the cold wall, as if trying to absorb its strength. Then she entered Mulder's room, sat next to him and took his hand.

"You should get some rest," Maggie followed her. "I'll stay with him."

Scully ignored her, squeezing Mulder's hand even firmer. She wasn't going anywhere, not without him.

"Dana…" Maggie tried again, but she didn't know what else to say. Her daughter was stubborn and when she sat her mind to something, she wouldn't let anything stop her.

At least Fox was okay. Maggie arrived to the scene too late to figure out what happened to him, but right on time to start worrying. He wasn't just a nice man who looked out for her daughter in her crazy career choice anymore. He was now also her granddaughter's father, if only she could wrap her head around having a granddaughter. She liked that sweet little girl well enough, but it was still too soon and there was still too much mystery around Emily for Maggie to fully embrace her as a new family member.

She sat in the chair in the corner, took out the book from her purse, and started to read, ready to replace her daughter if she got too tired.

As if that ever happened…

Soon enough, Maggie was dozing off, dreaming about little Matthew, a long awaited grandson.

She woke up when two nurses entered the room and started preparing Fox for… something.

"What are you doing?" Dana asked them.

"He is being transferred," one of the nurses responded.

"Where?"

"We don't know, but the ambulance is already waiting."

"By whose orders?" Scully stood up and tried to get between them and the bed.

"By his mother's. She signed the transfer and you have no authority over her decision."

"The hell I don't! I am his _wife_ and he's not going anywhere!"

The nurses looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and left to check on Scully's claims, leaving her face to face with her, now fully awaken mother.

"His wife?" Maggie asked with a noticeable hurt in her voice.

"Mom, I can explain…"

"Then you better start, Dana."

"It was easier to get the custody over Emily if we… That's all. We… did it for her, mom. It didn't mean anything. I didn't tell you because it doesn't change anything."

"Just like you dropping your career in medicine didn't mean anything? Like your terminal cancer didn't mean anything?"

"No, not like that… This really isn't…"

"What else are you hiding from me, Dana?"

At that moment, Scully felt she was going to be sick, and there was no time for explanations. She grabbed a trashcan and retrieved to the corner, got down on her knees and started to retch violently. It felt as if the baby wanted to get out through her mouth instead of the… official channels.

She felt her mother's strong hands move the hair from her face and hold her forehead, kneeling beside her. Scully leaned into her touch for a long second, her stomach now painfully empty and her eyes closed.

"I'm fine," she managed to whisper.

"Just tell me the truth, Dana," Maggie pleaded. "For once, don't keep me in the dark."

Scully opened her eyes and looked at her, all her armor falling apart. She felt like a child again, safe and sound in the hands of a woman who loved her more than her life, a mother who she wanted to be like for her own children, her miracles that weren't meant to be, but still came to her, against all odds.

"I'm pregnant," she smiled. She wanted Mulder to be the first to know, and now that she finally had a chance to tell him, her mother was next. There was no reason to keep it a secret from her anymore, and Scully honestly didn't want to.

"Is this a joke?" Maggie didn't react in the way Scully imagined she would. "You told me you were barren."

"I was, I mean… I _thought_ I was. It's a long story, mom, but it's not a joke. I'm pregnant!"

Maggie sighed and looked at Mulder. "Is it his?"

Scully didn't know how to respond, so she simply nodded, looking at the floor.

"You just told me you marriage is on paper only," Maggie said coldly, getting up from the floor. Scully followed her.

"It is. Mom, I can explain."

"Don't bother, Dana. Whatever you want to tell me, I don't know how to believe you anymore… "

"Mom, please…"

"You have a lot on your plate, Dana, and god knows I am trying to help in any way that I can. But how can I help when you're not even telling me what is going on with you?"

"I'm trying, mom, I promise, I'm really trying. But it isn't exactly…"

Maggie raised her hand to quiet her, then took a deep breath to brace herself, before facing her daughter again.

"Bill is returning to the a ship in a few days," she informed her. "He asked me to stay with Tara for a while, he doesn't want to leave her all alone with a newborn and you know her mother is not able to help. I haven't decided yet, because I thought maybe you needed me more here… But I just realized you don't need me at all. You never needed me."

"That is not true, mom," Scully said with tears in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. Maggie wouldn't let her own tears fall either. That stubbornness of Dana didn't come out of nowhere, she really was her daughter and Maggie felt pride and love overwhelm her.

But it didn't change anything.

"Ask me to stay, and I'll stay," she offered.

"No," Scully shook her head, even though she desperately wanted to say yes. But it wouldn't be fair to keep her mother from her grandson. Besides, she knew Bill would hold it against her if she kept mother all for herself.

"No," she repeated, forcing a smile. "I can handle things here. You go be with Matthew while you have the opportunity."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I'll need you more when the baby comes, to babysit and… teach me…"

"Oh Dana, you know I will."

"I know, mom."

"How far along are you?"

"Less than two months… There's still plenty of time."

"I can't believe it," Maggie finally gave up and set her tears free. She grabbed her daughter into a big, warm hug, at last giving her the reaction she hoped for. "I'm so happy for you. But you have to slow down now, you have to take it easy."

"I know. I will."

"Well, I need to call Bill now. I'll be back soon."

"Ok."

Scully returned to sit with Mulder and hold his hand. She watched him breathe peacefully and her heart believed at last that he was going to be fine. Whatever that smoking bastard wanted to do with him, she came in time to stop him. Maybe he really just wanted to make him sleep, maybe it was some kind of deal with Mrs. Mulder to take him away from her… She used to be ashamed of their fake marriage, but now that it was out there, she was proud of it. It helped her keep him safe. It helped keep their children safe. It wasn't perfect, but people married for worse reasons than theirs, all the time…

She closed her eyes, feeling beat now that the adrenaline wore off, along with her stomach contents. The tiny peanut was already giving her such a hard time, but she couldn't wait to meet him or her. Her thoughts wandered back to the day of conception. Not the cold, humiliating and sterile implantation, but the dinner Mulder took her afterwards. Emily was staying with her mother and Scully was looking forward to an evening for herself, but Mulder was having none of that. After the hospital, he took her to his place instead of hers, settled her on the couch and served her a fancy "dinner in bed" that he ordered from some expensive restaurant.

She didn't remember how the food tasted, but she remembered how he made her laugh. He sat on the floor in front of the couch so that they could eat from the same plate. It was messy, but not even she cared, not that time. Mulder really went out of his way to help her relax, even giving her a foot rub, along with quoting some book about pregnancy and what to expect. By listening to him, she could have sworn he knew more about female body and embryos than she did. Mulder was always thorough in his research, after all.

He kissed her in the end, even though he didn't have to, even though neither Emily nor a social worker were spying on them. It was gentle and friendly, but she caught herself wanting it to mean more, so much more than that.

It was that kiss that she imagined their child was conceived with. Doctor's hands and tools may have done the implantation, but it was Mulder's hands and lips that helped her body open up and become a fertile and welcoming place, able to nourish a potential life.

Without that kiss, maybe it wouldn't take…

"What if it doesn't work?" she asked him before it happened.

"What if they both do and we get twins?" he countered.

"Twins?" she smiled. "You couldn't handle twins."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But I would enjoy trying."

"Twins," she closed her eyes, letting herself imagine it. She was so afraid it wouldn't work that it never occurred to her that it just might work _too_ well.

"A boy and a girl," Mulder mused. "So Emily can have both brother and sister."

"Like I had…"

"Would you want that?"

"How could I not! But, Mulder, just one baby would be as much of a miracle. I would be happy with that."

"Me too," he said looking at her in such a way that made her start falling.

Falling in love. Or hormones, more likely. As real as it felt, she had to remind herself not to give into it, not to ruin everything they had just to indulge her temporary, fertility related imbalance.

That's when he kissed her and made her pregnant.

They watched a movie afterwards and she fell asleep on Mulder's couch, but woke up in Mulder's bed, without recollection of getting there. She got up, found Mulder still fast asleep on the couch and went to make some coffee.

She placed one cup on the coffee table and slowly sipped from the other one, watching Mulder sleep and waiting for the warm smell to wake him up. And now she again waited for Mulder to wake up, for Emily to get better, for baby to grow… There was nothing left for her to do, but to wait…

The door opened and someone approached her from the back. She thought it was her mother, but when she turned around, she saw Emily's doctor.

"Can I have a word with you?" he asked. "It's Emily."

"Emily!" Scully jumped with fear. "What is it?"

She wasn't prepared for more bad news, and she was even less prepared for her worst nightmare. She stood up too abruptly and the vertigo returned, throwing her into doctor's arms, where the darkness swallowed her once again.

* * *

 **What was the doctor trying to tell her? Please vote:**

 **a) Emily is better and she can finally go to her.**

 **b) Emily is worse and there's nothing more they can do for her.**

 **c) Emily's blood injured someone.**

 **d) Emily's blood killed someone.**

 **e) Emily is missing.**

 **f) Emily is dead. (I'm only allowing this choice because I am confident that no one will vote for it. So. Do. Not. Vote. F. Please. ;) )**

 **g) Someone is asking to see Emily.**

 **Bonus question: What Astrological sign do you want for the baby? If you don't have any other ideas, just tell me your sign. ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Emily gets better! Yay! Thanks for voting!**

 **It's too late to vote for baby's gender or twins, though. That's already decided and it's under number 4. You are not supposed to know what it is yet, but I will eliminate one possibility in each chapter, until there is only number 4 left. :) So let's see what was under number 3:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) Girl, blue eyes, brown hair**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) ?**

 **6) ?**

 **7) ?**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

 **Oh, and by the way, you chose the child's (or twins') Astrological sign to be Gemini. :)**

* * *

"Scully!"

Falling.

She kept falling.

He kept calling her.

"Scully! Scully!"

But no matter how deep she fell, he was still beneath her.

He was afraid.

She was afraid.

"Scully!"

She had to reach him, no matter what it took.

She had to save him.

"Dr. Scully!"

Mulder!

"Dr. Scully! Can you hear me?"

There were faces above her. Rotating faces.

They were so fast it was making her nauseous.

So fast…

She couldn't hear Mulder anymore.

The faces stopped moving, still looking at her. Nurses. And doctor Jacobson. Emily's doctor.

Emily!

"Where is she?" Scully tried to get up from what she realized was a hospital bed, but a strong nurse's hands and her own nausea brought her back down. "I need to be with my daughter!"

"You need to rest," Dr. Jacobson said calmly. "Your daughter is fine. She's out of the ICU and isn't contagious anymore. That's what I was trying to tell you before you fainted on me. You need to rest, Dr. Scully, or your pregnancy will be endangered. You can see Emily when you wake up."

Scully felt a needle pierce the skin on her thigh. She understood she was being sedated, but now wasn't the time for rest. She had to fight it, fight them, fight the whole world if she needed to.

"My husband," she pleaded. "You don't understand. She is going to take him away. I need to stop her! I need to…"

But her eyes begun to close and her consciousness quickly faded. Whatever they gave her was strong and highly effective. The last thing she heard was Dr. Jacobson's voice, calm and assuring.

"Your husband is safe. No one will take him away. He's in good hands and… so… are… you…"

And she was out. Safe and sound, in the place so deep that not even dreams can reach, let alone any harm. Darkness could be a friend sometimes and Scully really needed a friend.

* * *

When Maggie returned to Fox's room, her daughter wasn't there anymore. She assumed Dana needed to use the restroom or wanted to get something to eat and would be back soon. She settled down with her book again, but as soon as she did, someone came in the room and went straight to Fox.

It wasn't Dana. It was an older woman who she never saw before.

"Excuse me," Maggie tried to get her attention. "Who are you?"

"I'm his mother," the woman answered, turning to her warily. "And who are you?"

"His… mother in law, I suppose," Maggie stood up and offered her hand. "Maggie Scully."

"Teena Mulder," Fox's mother politely shook her hand. "Mother in law…" she slowly repeated, observing Maggie with a hint of distrust.

"I only just found out about their marriage. Dana hadn't told me before," Maggie sounded both apologetic and defensive. She didn't know what to make of this woman. Judging by her daughter's earlier reaction, Dana didn't seem to trust her, but then again, this was Fox's mother and mothers always want what's best for their children.

Most of them, at least.

"I see," was all Teena said. It was impossible to read her emotions. "Could I talk to your daughter?"

"I don't know where she is but I'm sure she'll be back soon. I'll wait outside to give you privacy."

"Thank you," Teena nodded. She approached her son, not paying attention to Maggie anymore, not bothering to check if she left or not.

"You shouldn't have married her, Fox," she brushed her son's cold cheek with her colder fingers. "It's not going to work. I can't help you now."

She stood there for a long moment, but then quickly left the room without turning back. It was just in time to hear Dr. Jacobson explain to Maggie that her daughter had to be sedated and was going to be out for a while. For her own good. And for the sake of her unborn child.

Unborn child…

Teena closed her eyes for a moment, bracing herself. There was no doubt in her mind that the doctor spoke about her son's child, her grandchild. Fox went out and impregnated his partner, just as she feared he would, turning them both into helpless experiment subjects. There was no turning back now and tragedy was the only outcome for him. One way or another.

She hadn't given birth to him, but he was hers. She didn't need DNA tests to prove it. Bill and she tried for years but she wasn't able to conceive. She had given up hope, when one day her husband sat her down and explained to her that the ova she once donated to science (for a generous compensation) had been used and resulted in a boy.

She didn't understand much, except that the boy wasn't exactly what * _they*_ were going for. He was normal, perfectly normal, but normal wasn't useful to _*them*_.

Normal, but traumatized. He had nightmares almost every night and suffered from a paralyzing fear of bright lights. It didn't stop her from falling in love with him. She didn't know who his father was, but Bill accepted him as his own and it didn't matter to either of them.

There was a catch, though. * _They*_ wanted a compensation. Another child. A girl.

Bill Mulder's girl. A girl that she did carry for nine months, a baby that she conceived with her husband after * _they*_ restored her fertility (she never asked how), a girl that she gave birth to, bonding with her in a way she never had a chance to bond with Fox.

A girl whose presence calmed Fox when nothing else could and he started to sleep through the night, to smile, to play, to make friends… He got out of his shell, forgetting everything bad that happened to him, in the way only a very young child can forget.

It wasn't really easy, but it was acceptable to promise giving * _them*_ a potential child that Teena Mulder didn't trully believe was going to be born, after all those years of failing to conceive. Even if it worked, it was only fifty percent chances it would be a girl.

 _*They*_ would've let her keep the boy.

But Samantha wasn't a boy.

Bill promised to find another way. To fight * _them_ *. To give his life if he had to. They managed to keep Samantha for eight years. Eight years of happiness mixed with constant fear, tension and alert.

 _*They*_ got her daughter in the end and Teena never recovered. None of them did. She left her husband and raised her son on autopilot. She gave Fox everything she had left to give, but it wasn't much and it wasn't nearly enough… She was aware of that, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

There never was. All her life, she's been nothing more than a pawn in a twisted game she didn't understand. She couldn't help her son now any more than she was able to help her daughter a long time ago…

Lost in thoughts, Teena waited for Dr. Jacobson to leave before approaching Maggie again.

"Mrs. Scully," she told her. "I heard what the doctor said. I hope your daughter will recover. I have to go now. It was nice to meet you."

"You are not going to sit with your son for a while?" Maggie was surprised.

"There's no point. He wouldn't even know I was here," Teena shook her head. "He's in your daughter's hands now. Tell her I won't stand in her way."

With that, she turned and left, without looking back or saying goodbye.

Maggie watched her leave, feeling slightly disturbed by that woman, but she didn't know why. It felt as if Teena carried an invisible, but heavy cloud of coldness around her, and when she left, the entire building felt much, much warmer.

Maggie involuntarily shivered, then shook that feeling away and went to search for her daughter's room.

* * *

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog… He was a good friend of mine…"

"Mommy… Please don't sing."

"Emily… You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired…"

"You are going to be fine. Just rest. I'll be here."

"I can't sleep when you sing."

"Is my singing that bad?"

"Yes. Very bad."

"Hm… Okay, honey, I won't sing. But I need you to drink some water. Here. Just a little."

"I can't."

"Just a little bit. Come on. Yeah… That's good. That's enough."

"It's cold…"

"I'll ask nurse to get you something warm. A tea, perhaps? Do you want something to eat?"

"Can I have magic seeds?"

"Magic seeds? There's no such a thing as magic seeds."

"Yes, there is. Daddy has them."

"Daddy? Oh, you mean sunflower seeds?"

" _Magic_ seeds, mommy. Where is daddy? He knows."

"Daddy is sleeping, sweetheart. He, um, fell and hurt his head, but he is going recover and you can see him soon, okay?"

"Okay."

"I don't have any sunf… magic seeds, but I'll get some for you."

"Don't go, mommy."

"I'll be back soon. I'm just going to…"

"No… Don't die!"

"I am not going to die to Emily. I'll be back soon, I just want to get you something warm to drink and some food."

"You didn't come."

"What?"

"I was sick and you didn't come. I thought you died, but I didn't get a new mommy. Nobody came."

"I didn't die Emily, and I am not going to leave you. Don't think about that. It's all right."

"Why didn't you come?"

"I couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. But I was very close and I always will be."

"Why?"

"Listen, Emily… There's something I need to tell you."

"What?"

"Can I ask you something first? How would you like to have a little brother or sister?"

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"I don't know."

"It could be fun. You could play together."

"I guess."

"I had a baby brother when I was about your age. We all loved him very much."

"What was his name?"

"Charlie."

"Did you play with Charlie?"

"Yes. All the time!"

"Where is he now? Is he dead?"

"No."

"But your sister died."

"Yes. Melissa died, unfortunately. But Charlie isn't dead."

"Can I play with him?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"I don't know, honey. Charlie isn't really… around very often. But you will meet him, sooner or later."

"Can I have a little brother, too?"

"Maybe. Or a sister. That's what I am trying to tell you. I'm pregnant."

"He is in your belly?"

"Yes. Yes, he is. Or she. We don't know yet."

"But…"

"But what?"

"You are not fat!"

"No, but I will be."

"When?"

"In a few months. The baby is still very small, but it is growing."

"A few months? It's too long."

"It's not a long time. It will pass very quickly, you'll see."

"Is he going to be sick? Like me?"

"No. The baby will be healthy. And so are you."

"Hello, Emily."

"Hi, grandma."

"Hi, mom."

"How are you feeling, little one?"

"Better. A little."

"That's good to hear. Look what I brought you! Your little alien."

"Thank you, mom. Where did you find it?"

"It was behind the couch. I moved it a bit to vacuum."

"You didn't have to vacuum, mom."

"I wanted to do something for you before I leave."

"Thank you. I appreciate it. Tara is lucky to have you. When is your flight?"

"Tonight at eight. I can't wait to see the baby!"

"My mommy is going to have a baby."

"I know, honey. Are you happy?"

"Yes. Are you going to be his grandma too?"

"Of course!"

"Mom, I don't want to leave her alone, but she needs to eat. Can you get her some warm tea and maybe a sandwich?"

"Yes, I'll be right back."

"I want magic seeds!"

"What is that, honey?"

"Sunflower seeds, mom. Can you check Mulder's pockets to see if he has any?"

"Okay. Anything for you?"

"A tea sounds good. Maybe a salad if they have it."

"Is grandma going to die?"

"No. She just went to get us something to eat. Nobody is going to die. Don't think about that."

"Then why didn't you come?"

"You were very sick, Emily, and I didn't want the baby to get sick too. But it was only temporary, okay? I'm here now."

"Ok."

"I don't want you to worry, darling. Sometimes people die and we can't do anything about it. But it doesn't happen every day, and one day we will see them again. Until then, they will go on living in our hearts, and that's a good place to be. It's the best place."

"What if I forget?"

"Your parents?"

"Yes."

"Your heart will never forget, Emily."

"Can I go home now?"

"Soon, Emily. I promise."

"I'm back. Here's the tea and sandwiches are in the bag, along with magic seeds. They didn't have any salads, sorry."

"That's okay. Thank you, mom. Here you go, Emily. Easy, don't get it all over yourself."

"I'll stay with her now, Dana."

"It's okay, mom. I've got it."

"I know you do, but I just came from Fox's room and…"

"What's wrong? Is he all right?"

"He's awake, Dana. And he's asking for you."

"Oh my god…"

* * *

 **I don't have an idea what to ask you to vote for, so let's try something different this time. Give me a word, just one word, and I have to use it in the next chapter. It can be any word you want, so get creative. ;) I will use all the words that I get, so even if your votes didn't make a difference so far, the word you give me now will definitely affect the story. You can also choose Emily's Astrological sign.**

 **So please vote:**

 **1) Give me a random word.**

 **2) Choose Emily's Astrological sign (or even a birthday if you want).**


	11. Chapter 11

**November 3rd it is, and Emily gets to be a little Scorpio! She'll get along great with her Pisces mother, then. Scorpio and Pisces tend to have an amazing bond. I know, I'm Pisces too. ;)**

 **And if the baby is going to be Gemini, it means Emily's birthday is right about… NOW!**

 **Ok, let's uncover another option for baby's gender that didn't get chosen:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) Girl, blue eyes, brown hair**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) Boy, blue eyes, red hair**

 **6) ?**

 **7) ?**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

 **For those of you who gave me a word to use, have fun finding it in the chapter!**

* * *

As soon as she saw him, she knew he was going to be all right. It wasn't anything physical on him and she didn't need to read his chart to know – she just knew.

It was impossible to _just know_ , of course, so she wouldn't acknowledge that feeling to herself, but she enjoyed it nonetheless.

"Hi," she said softly, settling down on the chair next to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Peachy," Mulder tried to smile, but his face contorted in pain instead. "Or not. What about you?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "The baby's fine."

"So it wasn't a dream. You are really pregnant?"

Scully looked at him, trying to read his feelings. It wasn't easy. Mulder was still under whatever the Smoking man injected him with and seemed a bit confused.

She sighed, remembering the journey that led them to here. At first Mulder was all for it. He worried about Emily and would carry the baby himself if it was possible. Anything to protect her. He insisted on paying for all the procedures, claiming that it was easier to provide money than your own body and it was the least he could do.

It all changed when she fainted in front of him for the first time and admitted that hormonal injections weren't easy on her. When she started to cry and laugh, to oscillate between ecstasy and despair, along with million other feelings that she couldn't even begin to name… That's when he got scared. He wanted to call it off and find another way.

But Scully wanted a baby so badly that she would have gone through with it even if Emily was healthy. This was her last chance to carry one. As soon as she got a confirmation that her ova was viable, she started with the fertility treatments. It was before they even decided to go for it, and before she had a chance to triple check if it would really benefit Emily.

She figured she could stop with the treatments if they decided against it and no harm would come from it. But if they made that choice, she wanted to be prepared and ready.

The surer she got, the less sure Mulder was. He tried to talk her out of it even while driving her to the hospital.

But once it was done, once that there was no going back, he became incredibly supportive and caring.

"Yes, Mulder, I'm pregnant," she confirmed now.

His expression was still unreadable, but his voice was soft when he commented. "Ah… That explains why you're glowing."

"That's ridiculous," she blushed a little.

"No, it's true," Mulder insisted. "Your chest is glowing."

"My…? Mulder!"

"Sorry. Did I really say that aloud?"

"Yes, you did! And now I wonder about all the things that you aren't saying, but thinking."

"There's nothing. I swear. It hurts too much to think."

"Mulder…" Scully got serious again. "Do you remember Smoking man?"

"Damn! That wasn't a dream, either?"

"No, unfortunately not. What did he want with you, Mulder?"

"He… I don't know. He didn't say."

Mulder closed his eyes, partially due to pain, but mainly because he didn't want to look at Scully while lying to her. He remembered well. Too well.

It was dangerous to lie to his partner about someone coming after her, but it was also dangerous to tell a pregnant woman that it is her unborn child who that someone is actually interested in. That kind of stress could trigger a miscarriage, and he wasn't willing to risk it. Scully was strong, but even her endurance had limits. Besides, until the baby was born she would be safe, and he would have plenty of time to come up with a plan.

"How is Emily?" he changed the subject.

"Better," Scully's face immediately lightened up. "I was just with her. She's asking about you."

"Can I see her?" Mulder smiled widely, despite the pain.

"I think I can arrange that."

"Thank you," he whispered in return, closing his eyes again. It was becoming hard to stay awake.

"Her birthday is coming up," Scully informed him. "I don't want to miss it. You have about a week to recover."

"For a tofu cake?" he teased.

"That's not a bad idea," Scully was serious. "Emily loves tofu."

"Emily doesn't have a sense of taste. And you should never use the words love and tofu in the same sentence."

"I love tofu, Mulder."

"Damn, Scully! What did I just tell you?"

"Before or after you commented on my bosom?"

That left him speechless, but not for long.

"I was referring to your necklace," he offered an excuse. "It reflects the light in a… glowing kind of way."

"Nice try, Mulder, but I'm not wearing the necklace today."

He tried to open his eyes to check, but the lids refused to cooperate, keeping them firmly shut.

"I think I'm gonna pass out now," he warned. "So if you're about to kill me for my language, you'd better do it quickly, or I might miss it."

"I'll wait until you're fully conscious," Scully decided. "I promise."

There was no response. Mulder was already fast asleep. Scully quickly checked his vital signs and left him to rest, rushing back to Emily.

"How bad is he?" Maggie asked immediately.

"Recovering," Scully said simply. "He's sleeping again, but he'll be ok. The worse is over."

"Thank god," Maggie said sincerely. She kissed Emily, then stood up and went to hug her daughter.

"I need to go now," she said regretfully. "Call me if you need me. I can be on the first plane back."

"Don't worry, mom," Scully tried to assure her, this time really feeling it. "I can take care of myself and my family."

"I know you can," Maggie agreed, trying to hide the hurt from her voice. She knew Dana could fend for herself, but just once she wanted to be included. Like Tara always included her. At this point Maggie knew more about her daughter in law than her own daughter.

She could understand Dana wanting to hide her romantic relationship with Fox, and that was her business. But having a secret marriage?! Why?

Scully could feel her mom keeping a distance, but she wouldn't allow that to disturb her. It was one thing too much to deal with at the moment and she had to leave it for a while, give mom a space. There would be time and place to explain.

Right now, her daughter needed her attention.

Or not.

Emily seemed to be perfectly fine by herself. She was sitting on the bed and peeling sunflower seeds, one by one, with a precision of a surgeon. She had two neat piles in front of her, one for peeled seeds and another one for empty husks. The half-full bag of untouched seeds rested on her lap.

It was a calming, peaceful scene.

Scully carefully approached her and sat down, waiting for her to finish. But Emily showed no signs of being anywhere close to finish. She kept going, as if nothing else mattered. Scully felt like she could go on forever, if only someone provided her with infinite supply of seeds…

"Why aren't you eating them?" she finally asked.

"I'm not hungry," Emily kept her eyes on the seeds. "These are for daddy."

"Daddy can do it by himself."

"But he likes it when I do it for him!"

Scully sincerely doubted that, but she didn't comment. If Mulder wanted the seeds already peeled, he would buy them peeled. But if Emily thought she was doing the right thing, Scully would humor her, just like she humored Mulder when he wanted to show her one of his never-ending slide shows.

"Emily," Scully tried to get her attention in a different way. "Do you know it's almost your birthday?"

It worked. Emily raised her head and looked at her mother with excitement. "Really?"

"Yes," Scully smiled. "We can make you a big, yummy cake."

"Will you buy me presents?" Emily wondered.

"Of course," Scully confirmed. "What do you wish for?"

"I wish…" Emily thought for a moment, then her face lightened up with an idea. "A genie!"

"A genie?" Scully raised her eyebrow.

"Yes," Emily confirmed. "Can I have one?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Why not?"

"Because genies aren't real. They don't exist."

"Daddy said they do."

"Of course he did," Scully sighed. "In any way, they don't sell them at the mall, so I don't know where to buy one. Is there anything else you'd like?"

Emily stayed silent, but Scully could almost hear her thinking. This was clearly a big deal for her.

"Mommy," she finally spoke again. "Is daddy stupid?"

"No, of course not! Why would you think that? Did someone say something?"

Emily nodded. "You said genies don't exist, but daddy said they do. How come he doesn't know if he is smart?"

Now Scully was left speechless. What could she say? If she said the truth about genies, Mulder would look like a liar. If she said the truth about Mulder, the genies would want to exist and she would have to find a way to buy one.

"Your dad and I don't always agree about things," she said, choosing her words carefully. "It doesn't mean that I'm right and he's wrong or… Or the opposite. It just means that, when there is no solid proof of something, you have to decide for yourself what to believe."

"I can believe what I want?"

"Yes, honey, you can."

"But if I believe like daddy, will you think I'm stupid?"

"No. No, I will never think you're stupid. You are a very smart girl and I am very proud of you, ok?"

"Are you proud of daddy, mommy?"

"Yes, Emily. I am. Your father is a very smart man with a very big heart, and you and I are very lucky to have him."

Emily considered that information for a moment, then she looked at Scully and said very seriously: "I want to believe genies exist, mommy."

"Ok, honey," Scully chuckled. "It looks like I got myself a little believer junior!"

"You'd better be a scientist," she sent a mental message to her unborn child. "It seems I'm gonna need a backup here."

"Can I have a genie now?" Emily wanted to know.

"I'm afraid I still don't know where to buy one. How about a doll? Or maybe a microscope?"

Emily shook her head no. "Can I have a puppy then?"

"A puppy?" Scully wasn't entirely against puppies. Or at all. But with a sick child, injured husband and a difficult pregnancy, there was no room for a dog in her life right now.

"Maybe next year," she said sincerely.

Emily nodded, accepting her decision. She took a cup from the nightstand, drunk all the water from it, then filled it with peeled sunflower seeds. Satisfied, she offered the cup to Scully.

"Can you give this to daddy?"

Scully took a cup and looked at its contents, barely suppressing a laugh. She put it back on the nightstand and looked at Emily. "I have a better idea. Why don't you give it to him yourself?"

* * *

 **What happens to Mulder next? Please vote:**

 **a) He dies (but without resurrection, I don't like bringing back dead people so be careful if you are choosing this option, as if anybody would choose it ;) )**

 **b) He gets worse and needs multiple surgeries (those of you who said no more angst/drama/stress/etc. were just joking, right? ;) )**

 **c) He's better but needs to stay in the hospital for a long time (at least he's safe there and Scully will know where to find him ;) )**

 **d) He gets amnesia and forgets who Scully and Emily are (ah, a fresh new beginning for our man :D )**

 **e) He can go home but needs constant care so he hires a nurse (it can be a male nurse if your shipper hearts are worried ;) )**

 **f) He stays with his mum until he recovers (mommy knows what's best for her boy ;) )**

 **g) He stays with Scully at her place until he recovers (because hers is bigger… ;) )**

 **h) Scully and Emily stay with him at his place until he recovers (can't leave the fish alone…)**

 **i) He stays at Skinner's place until he recovers (like a boss :D )**

 **j) He has a speedy recovery and doesn't need anybody's help (hey, what would be the fun in that? :P )**

 **k) He gets strange new abilities due to his head injury (because, um, X files?)**

 **l) He gets abducted by Cancerman (daddy always wins :P )**

 **m) He gets abducted by aliens and is buried alive when they return him (because canon :/ )**

 **n) He quits his job to become actor and musician (because Duchovny)**

 **?) He makes love with Scully (just kidding, this option isn't available… yet! Bear with me, you know it takes a long time to get them there. I'm working on it, I promise ;) )**

 **I enjoyed using the words that you gave me, so if anybody has more words, throw them my way and I promise to use them. If anybody has any ideas for this story, throw them my way as well, I will consider them but I can't promise to use them. ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, let's uncover another option for baby's gender that didn't get chosen:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) Girl, blue eyes, brown hair**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) Boy, blue eyes, red hair**

 **6) Twins**

 **7) ?**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

* * *

"I don't live here," Mulder noted when Scully pulled the car in front of her apartment building.

"Yes, you do," Scully said with authority that refused to be questioned. "If social security comes knocking on my door, I will not have them accuse me of neglecting my husband."

"We don't have to do that anymore," Mulder said quietly, and it seemed regretfully. "They are done with our case and no one is going to come to your door. We don't need to remain married."

"If that's what you want you can file for divorce," Scully said bitterly, getting out of the car. She slammed the door and walked to the other side to help Mulder out.

"I don't want a divorce," he told her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders for balance. "But I don't want to be a burden either."

"Then maybe you should stop getting yourself injured on your secret missions," she suggested coldly. "It's not just about you and me anymore. You need to start thinking of Emily."

"I am," he said. He could hardly recognize his partner. Parenthood changed her. She became more vulnerable, but fiercer at the same time. Mulder couldn't decide if he liked her more now or before they found Emily.

He just liked her, in any version she came.

Despite his formal objections, Mulder was glad to stay with Scully. He wanted to be as close as he could to her and Emily, and not just to protect them if it came to that. They gave him something he thought was lost forever when he lost Samantha: a sense of family. It was almost perfect, and the only thing missing was his mother. It pained him that she wouldn't allow herself to be a part of it. It could have been a new beginning for her as well.

Walking to the elevator and then to Scully's apartment drained all the energy from him. He was week, but one look at Emily brought him back to life.

"Hi, Starbuck!" he greeted her.

"Hi, daddy," she said, but she didn't rush towards him. She stayed on the floor, working on her drawings. Mulder had spent so much time in the hospital, during which he was too sick to give her enough attention, that Emily became shy and reserved around him just as she was when he met her. He didn't let that bother him much. He had the rest of his life to make it up to her.

Besides, there was another reason for Emily to feel uncomfortable, another strange man.

"Thank you for staying with her," Scully said to the said man. "Was everything all right?"

"Yes," Byres replied. "We had fun. We watched cartoons, played with Genie and now we are drawing. She is much better at this than I am, I have to admit."

Genie was Emily's birthday present from Mulder, who had a special talent to get himself out of any impossible situation his stubbornness got him into. When Emily repeated her birthday wish to him, he made it happen, just like that.

"See, mommy, I've told you Genie exists!" Emily had told her. Scully had bitten her tongue to prevent herself from responding, silently cursing Mulder and once more begging the new baby to be a scientist.

Byers excused himself and left them to settle. Mulder sat heavily on the couch, closing his eyes in pain. Emily watched him from the floor with a concern, and Scully warned her to be quiet because daddy needed to rest.

As if Emily, the Quiet Queen, needed to be warned.

When he got his pain under control, Mulder opened his eyes and scanned the living room.

"Where is your TV?" he asked Scully.

"I've had Byers move it to the bedroom," she was fishing through his bag, looking for something.

"Why?"

"Because I need you in bed, Mulder, and not wandering around, or even sitting on the couch," she explained, giving him the glass of water and some pills that she found. He swallowed them obediently, then accepted her hand and stood up, grunting like an old man.

"If you want me in your bed, Scully, all you have to do is ask," he joked despite the pain.

"As if you are any good to me in this condition," she responded in a blink, not letting his predictable remark throw her out of balance. "Thank you, but I'll rather sleep on the couch."

"Ouch," he complained. "That hurt. And I'm not talking about my head."

"Let's fix your head first," she smiled mischievously and Mulder had his answer: this was definitely his favorite version of Scully so far.

Slowly, they reached the bed and Scully tucked him in, giving him the remote control.

"Don't watch it too much," she advised. "You need your rest."

She left him alone for the rest of the day, and he spent time dozing on and off and browsing through TV channels, never finding anything interesting.

In the evening, Scully joined him to watch a movie.

"Do you want some?" she offered him chocolate, while climbing on the other side of the bed.

"Is it PMS?" Mulder teased her. "Should I be worried?"

"I can't have PMS, I'm pregnant," she said bluntly, putting another piece in her mouth. "Which is worse, actually."

"Do you still have morning sickness?"

"No, that's passed, thankfully. I'm just getting fat these days."

"It looks good on you," Mulder said sincerely.

"Emily is finally sleeping," Scully changed the subject, not impressed with the confirmation that she was showing extra weight. She didn't appreciate it, even if it came as a compliment.

"Did you read her a bed story?" Mulder wondered.

"Of course."

"Which one? She likes fairy tales."

"No, I read her a few chapters from the anatomy book."

"You what?!"

"She got tired of Moby Dick," Scully shrugged. "Killing whales upsets her too much, so I had to find another book."

"And that had to be something from your medical literature?"

"I use what I have," she shrugged again. "It puts her too sleep fairly quickly."

"Because it's boring," Mulder explained. "Who wouldn't fall asleep during an autopsy class?"

"Anatomy, Mulder," Scully corrected him. "Maybe I should read it to you, then? So I can watch this movie in peace, without your interruptions."

"You'll fall asleep before the first commercials," he told her. She stuck a piece of chocolate into his mouth to shut him up at last and focused on the movie.

She didn't last until commercials though. Soon enough she was fast asleep, lightly snoring and drooling.

"I've told you," Mulder whispered, careful not to wake her. He placed the remaining chocolate on the nightstand, then pulled the covers underneath Scully to cover her with them. She didn't even stir, she was so out. Mulder still turned off the TV, not wanting anything to disturb her. He didn't care about the movie anyway.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but for him it was never that easy. The pain worsened and the whole day of dozing made him wide-awake now, in the middle of the night. His injury and Scully's presence didn't allow him to stir and his position eventually became unbearable.

When he couldn't take it anymore, he got up and went to search for some painkillers. The bottle of pills on his nightstand was empty and he needed to find another one. Walking helped him. He used the toilet, found the pills and was about to go back to bed, when a small sound caught his attention. It was coming from Emily's room, mixed with the sound of hamster's wheel. He went to check on her.

Emily was sitting on the bed, sniffing. Her face was washed in tears. Mulder turned on the light and approached her.

"What's wrong, Starbuck?" he asked, but got no response. She didn't even look at him.

"Did you have a bad dream?" he tried again. Emily shrugged, still not looking at him.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he offered.

"I want mommy," Emily finally said.

"Let's go to her, then," Mulder offered a hand and Emily took it, getting up. He wanted to carry her, but he didn't dare, not with a head injury that might make him dizzy or who knows what.

"What about Genie?" Emily was worried.

"He'll be fine on his own," Mulder assured her, looking at the hamster happily running to nowhere in his fancy wheel. "Let's go."

Emily nodded and followed him to Scully's bedroom. She climbed on the bed and snuggled next to her mommy, who instinctively hugged her without waking up. Mulder watched them in awe.

"That's my girls," he whispered, taking his place next to them, careful not to disturb them. He placed a soft kiss on Emily's forehead.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Scully responded. Mulder looked at her in surprise, but she had her eyes closed and still appeared to be sleeping. Was she just pretending to be asleep, or was she reaching him through her dreams? More importantly, who was she talking to? Emily? Some night in the shiny armor she dreamed about? Or him, her clumsy old partner who couldn't manage to stay out of trouble?

Just in case, he kissed her forehead too. He thought he saw her smile in response, but it was dark and he couldn't be sure.

Snuggled together, they all slept peacefully through the night. Pills, movie and Genie were temporarily completely forgotten.

* * *

 **Who should be Emily's favorite Lone Gunman? Please vote:**

 **a) Byers**

 **b) Langly**

 **c) Frohike**

 **d) None. She hates them all.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok, let's uncover another option for baby's gender that didn't get chosen:**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) Girl, blue eyes, brown hair**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) Boy, blue eyes, red hair**

 **6) Twins**

 **7) Boy, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **8) ?**

 **9) ?**

* * *

First time it just happened. Scully only intended to watch a movie with Mulder, not to share a bed with him. She certainly didn't intend to wake up with Emily in her embrace, silently playing with her hair.

Raising her head a little, she looked over the child. "Mulder?"

"She had a nightmare. I think," Mulder said without opening his eyes.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

His lips twitched in a smile. "Scully, you are impossible to wake."

With a sigh, Scully let her head fall back on the pillow and closed her eyes for a moment. She liked being independent and she cherished her privacy, but her bed has never felt this warm and cozy before. Mulder was right, for a change. This was a dream she never wanted to wake up from.

"Are you hungry, Emily?" she asked.

Emily shrugged.

"You want some pancakes?" Scully offered. Emily nodded, but without enthusiasm. It felt as if the kid would nod just the same if Scully had offered her fried frogs for breakfast.

"You wanna help me make them?"

"I was hoping for a breakfast in bed," Mulder answered instead of Emily.

"Can we have a breakfast in bed, mommy?" Emily finally spoke. Scully kinda wished she didn't. Why did this kid always have to take Mulder's side?

"Your dad is too sick to make us breakfast in bed, honey," she gave Emily a huge peck in the cheek, then dragged her out of the bed and into the bathroom.

While Scully made pancakes, Emily busied herself with sunflower seeds. She peeled the seeds carefully, arranging them into two neat piles. One for daddy and one for Genie. Scully gave up explaining her that they could both do it for themselves, especially since neither daddy nor Genie ever complained.

The next time, she started making excuses. There was always a movie to watch or a subject to discuss with Mulder before sleep, and she never got out of bed before falling asleep. The winter was harsh and her couch was cold and lonely.

They never talked about it, not about sleeping in the same bed and not about occasionally waking up wrapped around each other. Besides, Emily ended up curled between them almost every other night.

Mulder's recovery was slow but complete. Yet, he stayed with Scully even when he no longer needed her care and was able to go back to work.

He stayed because she was pregnant and he wanted to help as much as he could. He learned that her feet were cold at night and that her sleep was too deep to hear Emily sniffing in her room after a nightmare.

His own apartment was suddenly too dark and messy. He wouldn't even go there to feed the fish anymore, his neighbor Joey was doing it just as well.

Scully stayed at home to care for Emily and it made the workdays last forever. The X-files belonged only to him again, but he wasn't capable of doing it by himself anymore. There was no one to listen to his theories, to push him in the right direction, to watch his back. Skinner wanted to assign him a new, temporary partner, but Mulder refused. It meant getting less fieldwork and much more paperwork, but Mulder didn't care.

His work wasn't his life anymore. His daughter was. His pregnant wife was.

Not seeing Scully at work meant he had to spend all of his free time with her. Who else would get up in the middle of the night for her and go search for a place that sells winter strawberries, for one of the weird pregnancy cravings?

There was a mini-Scully to consider, too. Someone had to be around to read her fairy tales instead of medical volumes. His Starbuck, far too stubborn to give up a nickname that was too rough for her gentle soul. She wanted to be just like her mommy, and that wasn't something Mulder would argue. He couldn't come up with a better role model for his daughter. Or a better mother. Or wife. For him.

Mulder had everything he long ago stopped dreaming of ever having.

He started to appear on family pictures. He bought a huge tree for their first Christmas with Emily and they all decorated it together. When it was done, Scully took a picture of him with Emily in front of it and then Mulder made a picture with her. Now Emily wanted to take a picture of them, so they had to kiss, then they had to hug, then they had to pose with Genie because he was a part of a family too. As such, he had to get presents.

Emily drew him a couple of paintings, which he tore apart to make a nest that he later filled with Mulder's gift: a bag of sunflower seeds. Scully bought him a nice little house, but he refused to sleep in it, using it as a toilet instead. Santa Clause gave him chocolate, but since hamsters aren't allowed to have chocolate, and since it had hazelnuts that Emily hated and raisins that Scully didn't like, Mulder had to eat the whole thing by himself.

Langly wasn't very good at disguising as Santa, and Emily recognized him immediately, but she was still excited, thinking that he was a real Santa Clause who just pretended to be Langly for the rest of the year. He became her favorite Lone Gunmen after that.

Mulder bought some children's books for Emily and the biggest and most bland sounding cake that he found in a health store for Scully. That, and some warm wool socks for her feet.

The biggest gift was for him. It wasn't wrapped, just covered with a blanket. Emily wanted him to guess what was under the blanket, but his mind was blank. When he was finally allowed to give up and uncover it, he found an aquarium. His own aquarium, with his own fish.

"We didn't want them to be alone," Emily explained. "Are you happy, daddy?"

"Yes, Starbuck," Mulder said sincerely. He picked her up and gave her a big kiss. "I'm very happy."

He looked at Scully while saying the last words.

"Merry Christmas, Mulder," she smiled and he knew. He saw it in her eyes. The fish were not just for holidays. They were allowed to stay. _He_ was allowed to stay.

Emily was sick for the New Year, but Mulder still woke her to see the fireworks. He told her to be strong. He told her about everything that awaited her in the incoming year. A surgery that will make her healthy, not just for a week or two, but permanently. All the things that she'll be able to do then, like go to the kindergarten and make new friends. A little brother or sister that she'll have.

"Do you believe me, Starbuck?" he asked her and she nodded, too tired to respond with words.

"Don't give her promises that you can't keep," Scully warned him when Emily was asleep in her bed again.

"I haven't promised anything," Mulder said. "I only asked her to believe."

He took Scully's cross and observed it, gently stroking it with his thumb. "What do you believe, Scully?"

He was so close to her and his touch made her shiver. She closed her eyes to avoid the intensity of sensation, but it only became stronger. Her breathing quickened and the words she meant to say got stuck somewhere in her throat and dissolved in a heat.

"Tell me," Mulder whispered, pressing his forehead onto hers. "Tell me your beliefs."

She raised her hand to cover his, the one that was still holding her cross.

"I'm afraid to believe," she finally found her voice again. "All I dare is to hope."

"Then keep your hope strong, Scully. We're gonna need lots of it this year."

He pulled her into a hug. "Happy New Year, Scully."

"Happy New Year, Mulder," she responded, relaxing into his embrace. They stayed like that for a long moment, refilling each other's strength and compensating for each other's weaknesses, like they always did.

Yet it wasn't enough, not this time. They both needed more, so when they went to bed that night their bodies embraced again. Neither of them was sure who started it, and neither of them cared.

As it often happens in life, and as it certainly was a pattern in their life, whenever they got a little closer to each other something would happen to stand between them and drive them apart.

This time, it was their unborn child and secrets surrendering it. Mulder's secrets.

The fetus was in a position that didn't reveal it's gender, and Scully couldn't have cared less if it was a boy or a girl. She just wanted it to be healthy.

But Mulder cared. He cared way too much for a simple curiosity. At first, she allowed him to go to the regular checkups with her, but his insistence on revealing the gender started to bother her and she didn't want him accompany her anymore.

"Why is this so important to you?" she asked him furiously. "What difference does it make if it's a boy or a girl?"

"It doesn't," he said. "I don't care either way, I just… I need to know if it's a boy, Scully."

"You need it to be a boy?" Scully stared at him with disbelief. "Are you saying you don't want a girl?"

"Shit!" Mulder cursed, realizing what he said and how it sounded. "No, of course not, I do want a girl."

"But you already have a girl," Scully said coldly. "And you don't need another one. Mulder, what century are you living in?"

"Scully, you got it all wrong," Mulder pleaded.

"Then explain it to me," Scully dared him, but he didn't know what to say. Could she really handle the truth? It was one thing to lie to protect her, but he couldn't let it come between them. He had to keep her close, otherwise he had no way of protecting her. The question was, would she be more endangered by the truth or a lie?

"Don't worry, Mulder," Scully said, interpreting his silence in the completely wrong way, but the only way she could with the information available to her. "If it's a another girl I can raise her alone. I can raise them both alone. We don't need anything from you."

She didn't come to bed that night. Mulder couldn't sleep at all, worrying that it might be his last night at Scully's place, that she could kick him out in the morning. He wouldn't blame her, but he had to try to fix this. But how?

If he tells her that Cancerman is after their baby, specifically if it's a girl, she would worry and it would be a huge cause of stress for both her and the baby. She didn't have an easy pregnancy and something could still go wrong. If she knew that they've been lied to, that this might not be enough to cure Emily… But she was a doctor and she believed it would. He couldn't let her doubt it. For all he knew the Cancerman lied to intimidate him and Diana was telling the truth…

But was she?

If Scully knew all about it, she could help him come up with a solution. A plan. A theory. Anything.

Or could she, in her condition? If something went wrong, he would never forgive himself.

* * *

1. **Help Mulder decide what to do. Please vote:**

 **a) He tells the truth. All of it.**

 **b) He tells her some of it, but not the whole truth.**

 **c) He comes up with a convincing lie.**

 **d) He comes up with a lame lie.**

 **e) He doesn't say anything, hoping Scully would just let it go.**

 **2\. What will Scully's reaction be? Please vote:**

 **a) She forgives him.**

 **b) She kicks him out.**

 **c) She lets him stay but doesn't forgive him.**

 **d) She pretends everything's fine, but is not ready to forgive him.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok, this is the last option I'm uncovering! Only two left! Gee, I really thought the baby would've been born by now! ;)**

 **1) Girl, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **2) Boy, hazelnut eyes, brown hair**

 **3) Girl, blue eyes, brown hair**

 **4)?  \- THIS IS MULDER AND SCULLY'S BABY!**

 **5) Boy, blue eyes, red hair**

 **6) Twins**

 **7) Boy, hazelnut eyes, red hair**

 **8) Girl, blue eyes, red hair**

 **9) ?**

* * *

Scully wasn't able to sleep either. Her couch was cold and uncomfortable and she curled in there miserably, silently crying.

She was mad at Mulder, and not just for insisting on having a son. She blamed him for keeping her ova from her, and for everything he ever kept from her. Every wrong move he ever made, every misplaced word, every tiny mistake that she barely noticed… It all kept coming back to her, growing and multiplying to unreasonable proportions, until she could barely stand the mere thought of her partner.

She was too pregnant to deal with it reasonably, and frankly, she didn't want to. She was too rational for too long, and where did it lead her?

Here, pregnant and alone, pushed out of her own room by a man who didn't want her, who didn't want another daughter, who slept with her for months without ever touching her, like a brother sharing a bed with a sister, as if Scully needed another self-centered brother…

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down and clear her head. Her mind was rushing with bad-tempered, unproductive thoughts that she never allowed herself having, but right now they were too overwhelming and she didn't care, didn't care, didn't care…

Suddenly she stilled, becoming aware of a faint sound. After a moment, she identified it as footsteps, softly approaching from the bedroom. What the hell did he want now, son of a bitch?!

She could hear him walking on the carpet, probably barefoot, then his weight falling on the chair across from her.

"Scully," he whispered. "Are you awake?"

She didn't answer, didn't move. She didn't believe for a second that he would be fooled into thinking she was asleep, he was too observant for that, but it didn't matter. Talking to him was the last thing she wanted, and if he tried to wake her, so help her god…

He didn't, though. He just sat there, waiting, as if he had a meeting with Reticulans and needed to be very quiet in order not to scare them away. Scully could feel his eyes on her, burning through her skin. Her heart was racing with a loud fury that she was sure he could hear. It soon became impossible to lie still.

"Go back to sleep," she told him sharply, without opening her eyes.

"I can't," he said. "It's your bed."

"Then go sit in the kitchen," she abruptly turned, as far away from him as she could. "Leave me alone."

"I need to tell you something," he pleaded.

"Damn it, Mulder, it's the middle of the night!" Scully snapped. "Can't you wait until the morning?"

"I tried. I can't. I want… I want to name her Melissa."

Whatever Scully expected him to say, this wasn't it. She sat up and stared at him in disbelief. He had her full attention now.

"What did you just say?" she was starting to worry that he had entirely lost his mind. Maybe his recovery wasn't as complete as they thought, after all.

"I want our daughter to be named after your sister," he repeated. His voice was resigned, and he put himself completely at her mercy.

For some reason it pissed her off even more.

"Why?" she asked firmly. "Why not Samantha? Why not your sister? Because you don't want to be a part of her life?"

"Because it wasn't Samantha's voice that led you to Emily," Mulder stayed calm and submissive. "What you thought you heard was Melissa and it makes a lot of sense you would hear her, of all people. She always watched over you, and I don't believe she stopped after she died. Life and death didn't have clear boundaries to her."

"You are not making much sense," Scully wasn't impressed. Bringing up her dead sister to try to soften her rightful anger was a low blow.

"I can't sleep, Scully," Mulder went on. "I was just lying there and thinking about how to make this right between us, and I heard her too, Scully. I heard her just as well as I did when she was alive, when I was lost and defeated. When you were in a coma… She… Melissa told me to tell you how I feel. And now… That's what I'm trying to do here…"

Scully stayed quiet this time. They were both silent for a while. He was searching for words, and she was just waiting.

"I didn't know how much I wanted children until we found Emily," he finally continued, his voice slightly softer. "But she's my whole world now. She's so… Incredibly smart and considerate. She's like you, Scully. She's so much like you that I don't dare to believe she's mine. I just can't get used to the fact that she's real. I keep waiting to wake up, but every time I do, she's still here. How could I not want another one? I want to paint their room pink, Emily's favorite color, but then I stop to think what if her sister doesn't like pink? What if Melissa wants orange or green? Would you let me paint half of the room one color and half another one? Would you later move so that they can each have their own room? She will be my princess, Scully. This overwhelming… happiness that I feel, it must be love, but how can it be when I haven't even met her yet? I don't want to miss anything, not a second of her life, well, not until her wedding day at least, when she goes to marry some jerk because no man will ever be good enough for my little girl."

Scully's cheeks were washed in tears as she listened to him. "Mulder…"

"No, Scully," he interrupted her. "Don't say anything, let me tell you what I have to tell you before I lose courage. I think about her life a lot, and I'm looking forward to it all, but at the same time… I'm paralyzed with fear that I'll never even get a chance to see her… That they'll get to her first… To use her… To finish with her what they started with Emily. That I'll fail her like I failed Samantha… I think maybe… Maybe after I stole your ova from their lab this was the only way for them to get another child from you. Maybe we were given Emily as a part of their plan… They don't want a boy, Scully, they need a girl. I don't know why, maybe it's some reproduction agenda… I don't know what they're doing or how to stop them, but I'll give my life for my children if I have to. You and I… We'll find a way. We always do."

"Smoking man," Scully was wiping each cheek with one hand. She wasn't crying, only flooding with tears. "He tried to get our baby, when he came to the hospital. He threatened you…"

Mulder nodded in confirmation, looking in the darkness behind her. "It's not that I want a boy more than a girl. It's just that a boy would be easier to protect and if it's a girl I need to be ready."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Scully asked gently. There was no trace of anger left in her. But there was no fear either. She was fierce and alert and… and… beautiful. Like a scary lioness shielding her young.

"I was trying to protect you. And not just you, I…"

He stopped talking in the middle of the sentence. Scully watched him in surprise, as he appeared to have been intensely listening.

"What?" she asked.

He stayed still for another moment, then turned to her. "She's awake."

In an instant, he was on his feet and going towards Emily's room. Scully watched him, confused. She wanted to get up and follow, but found herself unable to move, busy with processing the information.

They were after her baby… her baby… her baby… It was surreal, all of it, the fact that she even had a baby inside her and the fact that somebody would want to hurt it. That she had a daughter. That she was married, to Mulder.

She never pictured Mulder as a father, let alone a father of her own children. He was a loner who lived for his work, a self-centered man who would give his life for a stranger without a second thought, but will hardly ever allow that stranger to become anything resembling a friend.

A man who could sense when his daughter was awake and needed him, even if there was no sound coming from her room…

God, how could she have ever doubted him?

After a while, Mulder returned and sunk into the same chair with a heavy sigh.

"She fell asleep again," he informed Scully. "She has a fever, but it's not high. You can check on her later, but she's ok for now."

Scully nodded. She wanted to ask about Emily's exact temperature, but the words weren't coming.

"Scully, I… Um…" Mulder was having the same problem with words. "I'm sorry."

She nodded again, still speechless. Mulder was unable to guess her thoughts. Did she accept his apology, or did she just want him gone?

Then he noticed the silent tears running down her cheeks and in an instant, he was kneeling in front of her, squeezing her hands.

"Scully, I was so worried," he pleaded. "When they told me they had to tranquilize you in order to save the baby… I… You were going through so much and I was completely useless. Not just that, I was another burden to you. I didn't think you could handle another bad news. Scully… I'm sorry…"

He kept talking, but she remained unresponsive. It was as if she wasn't even present, as if he was talking to a ghost. It scared the hell out of him.

"Scully, please! Look at me… It's going to be ok. We won't let anything happen to them. We won't!"

When he run out of the things to say and got no reaction from Scully, he lowered his forehead on her knees, still holding her hands. Like that, he just waited for her.

Neither of them knew what to do or what to say anymore, but someone else did.

The reaction Mulder was waiting for finally came, but it wasn't what he expected. Scully didn't scold him, or yell at him, or push him away…

No. She chuckled. Once.

Then again.

Mulder watched her with concern. "What is it?"

She finally looked at him and gave him a smile full of joy. Taking his hand, she placed it on her belly, where he felt a strong kick. Then one more. And another one.

"It's Melissa," Scully said through soft laugh.

And that was the best answer Mulder could ask for.

* * *

 **I've had this chapter ready for days, but I couldn't come up with anything for voting… So just let me know if you have any wishes or suggestions and I'll see if I can use them.**

 **I actually wish you could vote for my life right now. I just lost my dog, on my birthday, three weeks after my grandma died… It makes me think about how most of you always vote for bad things to stop happening in this story, and I could really use your votes in real life right now…**


	15. Chapter 15

**Oh wow, more than 50 followers?! I've never had that many, which makes this my most popular story so far! Yay! It's a great experience making it with all of you and I want to thank you for your contributions and support. I also want to thank everybody for your nice words after the last chapter, I'm still very heartbroken and it meant a lot to me. I hope whoever is writing my story heard your voices…**

* * *

"Honey, I'm home," Mulder jokingly greeted. There was no answer.

He went to the living room and found Scully sitting on the couch, washed in tears.

"What's wrong?" he asked, alarmed. "Where is Emily?"

Scully turned to him, surprised. "She's sleeping. Nothing's wrong."

Mulder took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. So it was a pregnancy-hormonal thing. After all these months, he still hadn't gotten used to, or understood, any of it.

Briefly, he closed his eyes before looking at her again. "Why are you crying?" he asked carefully.

"Oh," Scully sounded surprised. "Sorry. I was watching a movie."

"It was that sad?"

"No, not at all. It was beautiful, actually."

There. That's why he couldn't understand. Her emotions weren't just all over the place, they didn't make any sense either.

With a tired sigh, he joined her on the couch.

"How was your day?" she asked fondly. It felt good to have someone to ask that, but he missed her not having to ask, when she used to be right beside him and experience it all with him.

"Any new X files?" Scully smiled, missing it just as much.

"Nah… Just Skinner breathing down my neck. How's our little alien?"

"Kicking like crazy. I think she's ready to come out."

Mulder cringed at those words. Giving birth wasn't something he was comfortable thinking about, let alone discussing it. But if she needed to…

"What about you?" he bravely asked. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I am," she smiled. "Are you?"

"Not the slightest," he laughed nervously. "But I don't think I'll ever be, so don't wait for me."

She chuckled as well, but then got serious.

"Mulder," she said, and waited to have his full attention. "I need you to be there."

"Scully, I'm not going anywhere," he tried to assure her.

"That's not what I meant…" she was searching for words. This wasn't easy for her either. But it was essential, it was a request she couldn't skip making. "I asked my mother to stay with Emily and I need you to be with me... In the delivery room, Mulder."

He nodded, watching her. He certainly didn't want to see her doing… something… so… intimate… as… giving birth, but she was going to be in a lot of pain and he didn't want her to face it alone.

"I need you not to take your eyes off the baby. You have to make sure she's safe. No matter what. If something goes wrong, don't worry about me. She needs to be your priority, at all times."

"You are both my priority," he insisted, but Scully wasn't letting go.

"If you have to make a choice-"

"Scully, I'm not making any choices. The only option is that you and baby are both fine."

"Mulder-"

"You and baby _both_ , Scully. And Emily. End of discussion."

Scully felt a kick and lowered her eyes to her belly. She started rubbing it absentmindedly, her thoughts elsewhere. She was trying to find a way to make Mulder understand, to make him _truly_ understand that she was willing to die for this child if it ever came to that.

Mulder stood up and left before she had a chance to come up with new arguments. He was back quickly, though, with Emily in his arms.

"Stop plotting sacrifices, Scully," he told her. "You have to be prepared to live for her, too. I don't want to do this alone."

He placed Emily on her lap and Scully noticed that her daughter was wet with tears.

"Honey, what happened?" she asked worryingly.

"She won't say," Mulder shook his head, sitting down next to them. "She's a true Scully Junior, keeping it all for herself."

"Um, I don't know…" Scully fondly observed. "All I see is a little Mulder in her. So sensitive… warm… and incredibly tortured…"

She wanted to look at him, but couldn't. There was something exceptionally tense between them and it almost felt unbearable. Something had irreversibly changed and they both knew it, felt it and lived it… They just didn't know what to do with it. One thing was for sure though, if they as little as just looked at each other now, they would both be consumed…

So they focused on Emily instead. It was safer and she needed their attention and care. Scully held her as close as her belly allowed while Mulder gently stroked her hair. Emily's breathing quickly slowed down and she closed her eyes, relaxing in her parents' warm embrace.

Mulder lowered his head to Scully's ear. She felt his hot breath, then heard him whisper.

"I don't want to do this alone."

She turned to him, finally meeting his eyes.

"Do you want to do it at all?" she asked carefully, searching for answer in his gaze.

"More than anything," he said and his eyes confirmed.

"Mulder…" Scully wondered why it was so hard to tell him the truth that he deserved to know. "If I could've had another donor, anybody I chose… I would've wanted it to be yours."

There. She said it. The world didn't end. Mulder didn't run away. He just smiled. The most beautiful and perfect smile she ever saw on his face…

"Don't give up Scully," the smile told her. "We are done with sacrifices. It's time for some happiness."

"We will be ok," Scully confirmed with renewed determination. "We will all be ok."

Mulder's smile grew even wider and multiplied on the face of his daughter, who was now peacefully dozing off, wrapped around mommy's belly that joyfully kicked in agreement.

They were going to be ok.

* * *

 **How about some romance next? Please vote:**

 **a) OMG, FINALLY! YES, YES, YES!**

 **b) Sure. Fine. Whatever.**

 **c) What? Why? NOOOO! It will ruin the whole story!**

 **d) It's too soon.**

 **e) It's too late.**

 **f)** **I am Chris Carter. Keep it platonic or I'll sue your ass for copyright infringement. No disclaimer will help you, you wannabe writer, not even had you bothered to actually write one!**


	16. Chapter 16

He could feel her discomfort. Her breathing was uneven and she kept turning in bed restlessly, as much as her belly allowed. She wasn't getting any sleep, and neither was he.

He could feel her pain.

"This is ridiculous," he stated when she once more gasped and tensed. He turned on the light and looked at her, sweating next to him and clutching the sheets, her breathing quickening. He gently moved the hair from her face and she turned on her side, facing him with her eyes tightly shut. She let go of the sheet to grab his arm instead, and he pressed his forehead onto hers, waiting for the contraction to pass.

Finally, she let out a long breath and opened her eyes.

"It's time to go," he told her.

"No, it's too soon," she protested. "I know what I'm doing, Mulder. I'm a doctor, for god's sake!"

"Yeah," he said, getting up despite of her objections. "You are also my wife and you are in labor. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Giving birth takes hours, Mulder. There's no need to go before the morning. I don't want to scare my mom by calling her in the middle of the night. And Emily needs her sleep."

"I love Emily, Scully. And I love your mom. But right now you are a priority, and I'm sure they'll both agree with me."

"You love my mom?" Scully sat up, looking at him as if he'd lost his mind. Mulder walked over to her side and crouched in front of her.

"Who doesn't?" he smiled. "Now stop worrying and get up. You are going to have this baby, and I'm going to do everything I can to protect it. I just can't do it here. We need to go the hospital."

He stood up and she quickly followed, the fear written all over her face.

"Why did you say that?" she demanded.

"Scully…" he sighed. This was getting tedious.

"No, those words, Mulder! You said those exact words to me in…"

"When?" he was becoming confused now.

"In my dreams, Mulder," she finally admitted. "You used the exact the same words in my dreams."

"I did? Did you listen to me?"

"No, I… I didn't go the hospital, but to some abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. I… I… I gave the baby away. I let Emily die and I gave my baby away and you weren't even there for any of it…"

"It was just a dream," he said gently.

"It felt so real," Scully was on the verge of tears. "And now you saying the exact same words to me… What if… What if it was a premonition and it's happening right now?"

"You don't believe in premonitions, Scully," he gently reminded her, but she started to shake her head fiercely.

"No, no, but you do!" she insisted. "You always say dreams are-"

"…sometimes just dreams," he interrupted her. He moved closer to place his arms on her shoulders. "And that's what your dream was. A collection of your deepest fears. A nightmare. Nothing more."

"How can you be sure?" she whispered, both unconvinced and embarrassed.

"Because I know you," he pulled her into an embrace and continued to talk to her hair. "You never give up and you certainly wouldn't give up on this baby, or Emily. And you know me just as well. You know what I'd say to you about protecting our baby and your dream simply reflected that."

His words calmed her down and he felt her visibly relax in his arms.

"You are right," she said with a smile when she raised her head from his chest. "I'll wake Emily and you call my mom. Then I'll need a quick shower and we can go."

"A shower?" he was suspicious.

"My body is going to be on a close display for quite a few people, and that includes you," she rolled her eyes. "Of course I want to take a shower first. It will only take a few minutes."

"Ok, but hurry," he reluctantly agreed.

He watched her leave to wake Emily and when she was out of sight, he took a long breath and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the long day ahead of him. This was it, then. He was about to become a father, for the second time, and while it wasn't nearly as weird and unexpected as the first time, it was just as unbelievable.

A father.

A baby.

With Scully.

"All right, here we go," he smiled, feeling the rush of adrenaline surge through him. It was time for action, not contemplation.

"Mrs. Scully, this is Fox. It's time," he said in the phone as soon as his mother in law picked up. He didn't give her the chance to ask what was wrong, which was her usual response to him. To be fair, he never did call her with good news. Not before tonight, that is.

"No, meet us in the hospital," he said when she offered to come over. "We'll be there shortly."

Then he went to get the bags. One for Scully, one for the baby, and one for Emily. He shivered at t thought that he was going to be the only one coming back home today. That, of course, in the case nothing went wrong with any of his girls and he could be sure nothing would happen while he was at home…

As if…

He called Skinner next and asked him for FBI protection. He didn't think anybody would try to steal the newborn, since the baby that young needed too much care and couldn't really be used for tests and experiments, but he wasn't taking any chances.

Skinner thought Mulder had lost his mind, but agreed to help him.

"Thank you, sir," Mulder said sincerely, about to hang up, when Skinner spoke again.

"Hey, Mulder? Good luck!"

"Thank you, sir," Mulder repeated, a bit awkwardly. He called the hospital next to let them know they were coming and he was done. Scully was still in Emily's room, so he went to check on them.

"What is going on here?" he asked when he saw them. It was a weird sight indeed. Emily was standing by the bed with tears running down her face, and Scully was kneeling in front her, gripping her shoulders really hard and breathing rapidly.

"Mommy is going to die," Emily informed him. Her voice was calm but so full of pain that it broke his heart.

"No, honey!" Scully said quickly through her teeth. "I'm not dying. I'm… Oh god… having a ba-aby. You are going to be a big sisssss… ter soon."

Emily started to sob, unconvinced.

"Scully, you're scaring her," Mulder quickly joined her on the floor, saving Emily from her strong grip and guiding his wife into clutching his forearm instead. He held Scully with one hand and Emily with another, not knowing what else to do for either of them.

"It's ok, Emily," he said, following with: "Scully, breathe!" and as Scully remembered how to breathe properly, Emily started to mimic her, as if trying to help her through it.

"Good girl," Mulder whispered, not sure to which one, and he actually hoped neither of them heard him.

Finally, it was over and Scully let him go. He was pleased to notice that the blood flow returned to his arm and he didn't seem to be permanently injured. Giving birth really was painful, as he just experienced himself.

"It's okay, honey," Scully returned her focus to Emily. "I'm fine, really. It just hurts because the baby's head is bigger than mommy's hole so it takes some adjusting, but I'm not going to die, ok?"

"What hole?" Emily asked through sobs, completely skeptical.

"We've talked about this, Emily," Scully sighed. "I've explained everything to you, remember?"

Emily shook her head no.

"Go have your shower, Scully," Mulder interrupted. "I've got her."

He didn't want Emily to know so much already. He wanted to have grandchildren one day, but it wasn't going to happen if Scully traumatized their daughter with too many medical information too soon.

"Ok," Scully reluctantly agreed. Mulder helped her get up, telling her to yell if she needed any help, then let her go and focused on Emily.

"Mommy is very brave, isn't she, honey?"

Emily nodded. Seeing her mother get up and walk as normally as ever finally convinced her that maybe she wasn't going to die after all.

"Can you also be brave, Starbuck?" Mulder asked carefully. "Just like your mommy?"

"Why?" she was alarmed. "Am I going to die?"

"No, nobody is going to die. But you need to go to the hospital now. When the baby is born, it will be time for your surgery."

"No!" she started to cry again. "I don't want to!"

"I know, honey. I don't want you to go either, but it is going to help you. You will not be sick all the time anymore and we will be able to do so much fun stuff together, what do you say?"

"No!" Emily's answer was firm.

"There's got to be someplace you want to visit. How about Disneyland?"

"No!"

"Ok, then, we could go the Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls, how does that sound?"

"No!"

"Europe?"

"No!"

"Where do you want to go, Starbuck? I'll take you wherever you want."

"ZOO," she finally suggested, shyly but hopefully.

"Yeah, that sounds fun. We'll go to the ZOO then."

"Can mommy go, too?"

"Of course! Mommy and the baby too."

"The baby can go with us?" Emily's face radiated with joy and excitement.

"Yes, and you can teach it everything you know."

"I will," she nodded enthusiastically. "And Genie?"

"I think Genie would be afraid of the big animals. He will be safer at home."

"Oh, yes… You are very smart, daddy."

"And you are very brave," Mulder smiled. "And adorable."

He pulled her into a hug and as her small arms embraced him, he thought about another pair of tiny hands on their way and his heart filled with pure joy.

"I'm done, Mulder," Scully's voice interrupted them. "Why isn't she ready? What are you doing?"

"We are going to the ZOO!" Emily informed her happily.

"What?"

"Later," Mulder quickly clarified, getting up nervously, as if he was caught doing something forbidden. "After her surgery. And recovery. And when you are… ready."

Scully watched him, confused and fairly annoyed. She was about to give birth and he was planning a visit to the ZOO?! What's gone into him? It didn't help his cause that he had a problem with meeting her gaze.

"Can we just go to the hospital now?" she asked, not having time to discuss the ZOO. She went to Emily's closet and browsed for something for her to wear.

"I will be brave, mommy," Emily informed her.

"Good, honey, that's very good. Can you put this on, please?"

Emily took the clothes and started to giggle.

"What's so funny?" Scully was surprised.

"I can't tell you," she kept on giggling.

"Why not?"

"Can I whisper it to you?"

"Not now, Emily, I can't do much bending in my condition."

"But she can come up," Mulder decided, taking Emily and raising her to Scully's ear.

"I remembered where the hole is," Emily whispered loud enough for Mulder to hear. He chuckled, and Scully blushed, looking at her feet all of a sudden.

Mulder placed Emily back on the ground and as she busied herself with clothes, he leaned into Scully's ear to whisper his own message: "I think I know what she's talking about."

"I suppose you would," Scully chuckled shyly, still looking down.

It put them all in the good mood, and their ride to the hospital was happy and cheerful.

When they arrived there, though, things stopped going smoothly. They were separated from Emily, leaving her with Scully's mom to help her prepare for the surgery. Mulder and Scully were waiting in a sterile room. She had to change into what Mulder considered close to nothing and it made him feel awkward to see her like that.

When the doctor came and told her to lie down, she gave Mulder a gaze that was hard for him to decode. She looked like she wanted him to leave, but at the same time she looked like she was begging him not to.

"Mulder…" she started, looking at the floor now. He placed his palm on her cheek to stop her from talking.

"It's ok," he said softly. "Go on."

He figured if he turned around, it would give her enough privacy, but it felt weird. It felt wrong. She asked him to be there, with her, all the way. Turning his back on her was worse than waiting outside, in a way. This was his wife, delivering his child, no matter how unconventional it all was. This was his right. His duty. His world.

It wasn't like he never saw her naked before, and besides, they both knew giving birth wasn't going to be pretty.

It was still a miracle. All of it.

Carefully, Mulder turned back to Scully, making sure to focus on her face and avoid looking at whatever the doctor was doing down there. Scully took his hand and smiled and all the awkwardness was gone.

At least until the doctor announced that she wasn't dilated much or something… Mulder was too dazed to make sense of his words, concentrating on the tone of his voice instead. Doctor's voice was calm, which meant Scully was fine, which meant everything was ok.

Scully's tone of voice, however, was the very opposite of relaxed.

"I've told you it was too soon for the hospital," she said accusingly. She started to pace up and down the room, occasionally reminding him that Emily could have still been sleeping or that her own room had much more comfort.

Mulder tried to stay out of her way. He sat on the chair next to the window and munched sunflower seeds, completely convinced that the baby was ready but just didn't dare to come out before sunrise, afraid of messing up its mother's strict plans.

"If you need a punching bag, I'm here," he offered every time she had contractions. Scully preferred to keep away from him, and he didn't insist, happy to give her space.

He watched her, though, intently and deeply as only a skilled profile knew how. He read between her steps, her grunts and moans… His gaze, occasionally, sneaked all the way underneath her robe. He knew it was a forbidden territory, but he couldn't help himself. Scully was so radiant, so round and full of fresh new life that struggled to enter their world. And, well, so deliciously exposed…

Whenever the nurse came for a checkup, Mulder informed her about Scully's condition, the intervals between contractions and even the scale of her pain, before Scully had a chance to open her mouth. He was so accurate in his observations that Scully had no choice but to nod in confirmation.

It was still going slowly. Scully was getting tired and frustrated.

"You know, Scully, they say rolling in the hay helps accelerate these things," Mulder suggested teasingly.

"I don't see any hay bales falling from the sky, Mulder," she answered grumpily.

"No, but there's a perfectly usable bed behind you," he smiled provocatively.

Scully looked at the bland hospital bed, then at the door through which a nurse or a doctor could walk any minute.

"It sure is romantic," she noted ironically.

Mulder chuckled and went back to his comfort food, while Scully sat on the bed to ride through a bit stronger contraction.

He was by her side in an instant when she forgot how to breathe, just as quickly returning to his seat when it passed.

Scully went back to her pacing.

"Come here," Mulder called her in a few minutes. He was standing now, looking through the window.

"What is it, Mulder? Raining hay bales?"

He rolled his eyes. "Just get over here, Scully."

He guided her in front of him, wrapping his arms around her from behind, to watch it with her.

A sunrise.

Scully leaned on him and they watched in silence as the sun slowly ascended, bathing them in first morning light.

"It's beautiful," she whispered.

"A new day," Mulder stroked her belly. "A new life…"

He wanted to say a bit more, or a lot more, but his feet suddenly got wet and he lost the train of his thoughts.

"Please tell me that was your water breaking," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry," Scully tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let her, keeping her firmly in tight embrace.

"It's ok," he said soothingly. "How long do we have now?"

"Prognosis are the same, Mulder. This doesn't change much."

"Will you at least lie down finally?"

She nodded and he helped her to the bed, but she didn't stay long in it. She was soon transferred to the delivery room and things started to progress much faster.

Mulder had never felt so useless, as he helplessly stood there, holding Scully's hand and repeating to her everything her doctor or one of the nurses ordered.

Breathe… Don't push… Push… Again… And again… Just once more…

That's when she finally shouted. A terrifying, bone-freezing, primal scream filled the room and the next thing he knew she was laughing and grinning at the tiny creature placed on her stomach.

A son.

Mulder had a son.

He watched him being taken for cleaning, he watched the frightening looking placenta that followed and was carefully collected for his daughter's cure, then he turned to his wife and said the words that refused to be postponed for even a second longer.

"I want to make love to you."

Scully looked at him and started to laugh, as much as the pain permitted her.

"Is this what your relationship is going to be like?" she asked with joy. "A competition right from the beginning?"

"I don't follow," he said, clearly confused.

"Your son, Mulder," she clarified. "He just got out and you immediately want to get in?"

"I, um…" he only now realized what he'd said and it scared the shit out of him. But there was no going back now, once those words came out they became too big for him to carry alone.

"I didn't mean _immediately_ ," he said sheepishly, trying to find something to look at besides her face. "But… Um… When… When can you?"

"My mother swears at forty days," she said gently, blissfully. Mulder turned back to her, surprised and delighted to see his own feelings reflecting in her eyes. If he was expecting rejection, there wasn't even a trace of it in her gaze.

"It can take longer for many," the nurse between Scully's legs lectured them. "Recovery is a very individual thing."

"Just stich me up well for my man," Scully told the nurse, though her eyes remained on Mulder, radiating in sync with her smile.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, still not completely aware of what was happening.

"Yes, Mulder, that's a yes," Scully confirmed with a chuckle.

"If I haven't just delivered your baby," the nurse commented. "I would've thought you two have never done it before."

 _Them two_ just winked at each other, not bothering to answer. They were used to having experiences that couldn't be explained to anybody else, that only them could share and understand.

Right now, they were sharing their first non-platonic-non-pretend-for-their-daughter's-sake kiss. For real. Tongs and all.

"Excuse me," the other nurse, the one assigned to their son, cleared her throat. "Would you like to meet your current baby before you make another one?"

* * *

 **Was this worth waiting for? I hope you like it.**

 **As for voting, how do you want to name this new little guy?**


	17. Chapter 17

"Mrs. Scully," Skinner poked his head into the room. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Maggie quickly got up from Emily's bed. Worry was written all over her face, until she noticed a wide smile on Skinner's face.

"A boy," he said, a bit proudly and a bit awkwardly.

"Oh my god, did you hear this, sweetie? You have a baby brother!" Maggie briefly turned to Emily, then quickly back to Skinner, without waiting for her granddaughter's reaction. "How is she doing?"

"Good," Skinner nodded. "Both of them are doing great."

"Oh, thank god! Thank you, sir!"

"What about her?" he pointed his head towards the bed.

"Oh, Emily is…" Maggie wanted to say _fine_ , but as she looked at her granddaughter, she noticed the child was crying. She was quickly by her side again.

"What happened?" she asked, while Skinner silently retrieved to his guarding duty.

Emily wasn't answering.

"You have a little brother, Emily. You should be happy, not sad. Now you have someone to play with, someone you can always count on. Brothers and sisters are the best gift parents can give, trust me, sweetie."

"Ok," Emily nodded, but the tears were still falling.

"Did you want a sister?" Maggie tried to guess.

"No," Emily shook her head fiercely. "I want mommy and daddy!"

"They are with the baby now. You will see them after the surgery."

"No! They are MY mommy and daddy! I want them NOW!" Emily demanded, getting more and more upset.

"You need to calm down, honey," Maggie warned her. "You have a big surgery coming so now is not the time to have tantrums."

"I don't care! They don't want me anymore!"

"Who? Your parents? They love you so much, Emily! You mean the world to both of them, they would never leave you." Maggie tried to hug her, but Emily pushed her away.

"No! They have a baby, and he is healthy, and I am not! They don't need me now!"

"They want you to be healthy too. That's why you are going to this surgery, to get better."

"What if I don't? What if it doesn't work?"

"Then we will try something else. Your mother is an excellent doctor, and she will never give up on you."

"What do you know!"

"I gave birth to four wonderful children, so I know a little something about parent's love. I love all my children equally and I always will, no matter what they do."

"But they are not sick! Nobody wants a sick child."

"No, but that doesn't mean your parents love you any less. My youngest, Charlie, was very ill when he was a baby, but we all loved him and prayed for him and he got better. He grew up to be a strong, healthy man. I pray for you too, Emily, every day."

Emily sniffed, considering Maggie's words for a moment, but decided that she didn't care about them and started to cry even louder.

"I want my mommy! She is MY mommy, not his! I want my mommy!"

The more Maggie tried to comfort her, the more she screamed and kicked, until there was no other option left but to call Mulder.

"I'm sorry, Fox," Maggie told him when he came, sweaty, tired and serious. "Everything was fine until she heard about the baby and now she won't stop crying. I don't know what's gotten into her."

"It's ok," he said, taking her place on the bed and pulling Emily into an embrace. "She's just scared."

Emily tried to push him away, but he was a lot stronger than Maggie and easily kept her in place.

"I'm here, Starbuck," he said soothingly. "It's ok. Daddy's here."

"She thinks you were going to replace her with the new baby," Maggie informed him regretfully. "I couldn't convince her otherwise."

Mulder took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a sense of guilt wash over him. A few minutes ago, he was perfectly happy, celebrating his new child, while his only daughter was struggling without him. He felt her little heart beat rapidly against his chest and he pulled her even closer.

"She knows it's not true," he told Maggie. "She's just scared. You can go see Dana and the baby. I've got her."

"All right," Maggie was trying to hide her excitement in front of Emily's rage. "I'll be back soon."

Mulder didn't say anything more. He didn't move. He just sat there, holding his daughter, until she cried her heart out and had no more tears left. Her breathing was still rapid, but her sobs were dry now and she was starting to calm down.

"Did I ever tell you about Samantha?" Mulder asked carefully.

"I don't care!" Emily replied angrily.

"She is my sister," Mulder provided anyway. That got Emily's attention. She raised her head and looked at him with red, swollen eyes.

"You have a sister?"

"I had," Mulder said, not looking at her anymore. He was staring at the wall, not really seeing anything. "She was taken away when she was only eight years old and I've never seen her again…"

"Eight years?" Emily was intrigued. "So old!"

"I was older," Mulder chuckled. "I was twelve. She was annoying sometimes, but I loved her. We did so many things together, we played games, watched TV… When I lost her nothing was ever the same again…"

"Did she die?"

"No… I mean, I don't know. She was… kidnapped from our house. I was there but I'm not sure what happened. I can't even trust my memories… I've spent the rest of my life looking for her, but I still haven't found her. I don't know if I ever will. For a long time, the search for her was all that mattered to me. I didn't have many friends, or girlfriends, and those that I did never stayed for long. I didn't know how to love them. They couldn't help me. Not even your mother, who never stopped trying… She gave up everything for me, and I had nothing to give her in return… Nothing but the heartbreak and one strange case after another."

"Did you love mommy?"

"I didn't know how. I didn't dare. I didn't know if I was even capable of loving. But then something happened to me. Do you know what happened, Starbuck?"

"What?"

"I found you. My beautiful girl. And it was strange at first, because I didn't even recognize this feeling. This… happiness. I've forgot what it's like to be truly happy. You made me remember. You taught me how to love, Emily. How to love you, your mother, and our baby. And life. And even… Even myself… I was so proud of having an open mind, but my heart was tightly closed. You opened it for me. I've been to lots of respectful doctors and all kinds of quacks, but no one had a cure for me. No one but my daughter, my little Emily Claire Mulder. You cured me, Starbuck. I know you probably don't understand much of what I'm trying to say, but one day you will. Until then, all you need to know is that I would never replace you with another child. Nobody can ever replace you."

"What about the baby?"

"The baby is your little brother. Mom and I didn't have him just for us, but for you too. He belongs to all of us, and we belong to him. Without you, we wouldn't have him. It's just another thing that you taught us; how to be a family."

"But…"

"But what?"

"What if I don't like him?"

"We still have to keep him," Mulder chuckled. "But you are a big sister and he will have to listen to you. You will be in charge, ok?"

Emily nodded, not entirely convinced, but seemingly willing to give it a try.

"I think you'll like him," Mulder smiled fondly. "He's so tiny and cute. Do you want to meet him?"

"Can I?" Emily's eyes grew wide.

"Just briefly," Mulder said carefully. "I can take you to him, but then you have to come back here and let the doctors prepare you for your surgery, ok?"

"I don't want to," her face contorted again, dried wells in her eyes quickly refilling.

"It's ok," Mulder said soothingly. "You will just go to sleep and when you wake up it will be all over. And I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He kissed her forehead and picked her up. They met Maggie in the hallway, all melted from preciousness. She started to talk about the baby as if she's never seen one before.

"I taught daddy how to love," Emily decided to reclaim her attention with a brag. It caused Mulder to blush and look at the floor. What sounded like the right thing to say just moments ago, and certainly felt true in every way, made him embarrassed in front of his mother in law.

"I'm sure you did," Maggie smiled, touched by the sight of the two of them and their bond, their magical way of comforting each other when nothing else could…

She slightly touched Mulder's arm to get his attention and make him look at her. "Do you want me to take her?"

"No," Mulder said. "We are going to see the baby. We'll be back in a moment, she just wants to meet him."

He was soon poking his head into Scully's room.

"Hi," he said, getting in.

"Hi," Scully smiled. She was lying on her side, guarding a newborn that just got breastfed and now rested contently.

Mulder carefully approached and placed Emily on the bed with them, pulling a chair for himself.

"He's ugly," Emily said after observing her brother for a few moments.

"No," Scully softly disagreed. "He's perfect… Look at him."

"Can I touch him?"

"Yes," Scully agreed. "Just be gentle."

Emily pointed a finger and slowly moved it towards the baby. She touched his arm, then quickly pulled away. Encouraged, she tried again, reaching for his cheek this time. Then the leg. Then fingers. The baby took her finger in his tiny hand and Emily started to giggle.

"I like him," she decided. "Can we take him home?"

Scully chuckled and looked at her husband. "What do you think, Mulder? Do we have a room for this little scientist?"

"I'll make room, Scully, but he is going to be a basketball player!"

"How do you know?" Emily wondered.

"I just have a feeling," Mulder winked. "You'll see."

"No," Scully disagreed. "He is a born scientist."

"What do you think, Emily?" Mulder asked.

"Ummm…" she thought for a moment, her finger still in baby's hand. "A baker!"

"Better than a scientist!" Mulder chuckled playfully.

"Oh, what do you two know," Scully jokingly scolded them.

"What's his name?" Emily asked.

Mulder and Scully looked at each other, but neither of them had an answer for her.

"I guess we can't name him Melissa," Mulder shrugged.

"I guess not," Scully agreed.

They were expecting a girl. It made more sense, since the girl would be harder to protect and they wanted to be prepared for everything. They didn't try to find out the gender, fearing that if they knew, anybody who was potentially spying on them would know as well. To them, it didn't really make a difference. They just wanted a healthy child.

Well, two healthy children, actually.

"My little Fox," Scully tried it, anticipating Mulder's reaction.

"No, not that," he quickly vetoed. "And no Dick or something like that."

"Dick?" Scully raised an eyebrow.

"No Ahab or Pip or…"

"Ah, Moby Dick," Scully recognized the names from her favorite book.

"I like Dick!" Emily declared. "I want Dick, daddy!"

"Aaaaand you are not allowed to date until you're thirty," Mulder informed her.

"How about William?" Scully interrupted them. "After you father. And mine."

"I guess William is fine," Mulder accepted. "But how will you mother feel about that?"

"She'll be glad," Scully assured him. "What about yours?"

"My mother doesn't want to be a part of this," he answered bitterly. "She isn't the woman whose opinion I need to know."

Turning to Emily, he asked. "Do you think he looks like William? Should we call him that?"

Emily nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you want to pick a middle name for him?" Scully suggested to her.

"But no Dick!" Mulder quickly reminded her. "At least not until you're thirty."

Emily gave it a thought. She didn't know many names, especially not boys'. She didn't really care, but this sounded important and she didn't want to lose her opportunity to participate in the decision making.

"I know," she finally exclaimed. Mulder and Scully looked at her in anticipation and she enjoyed the attention she was getting.

"Jackson!"

* * *

 **How will Emily's surgery go? Please vote:**

 **a) She will almost die and end up seriously disabled.**

 **b) It won't change anything. The cure was a hoax.**

 **c) She will be completely healed.**

 **d) She will develop super powers as a side-effect.**

 **e) She will lose all her memories of Mulder and Scully.**

 **f) She will develop a supernatural connection to her brother.**

 **g) She will become evil.**

 **h) She will be kidnapped and disappear from the recovery room.**

 **i) Her health will only worsen.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ok, you voted, Emily is healed. :) There were lots of votes for her having a supernatural connection with William, so I might do a little bit of that, too. Thank you for voting and keeping me motivated! I'm sorry this chapter took me so long, life got in the way again, but this time, it's good stuff happening to me. :)**

* * *

His eyes were tightly shut as if he didn't want to interact with anybody. He made soft, whimpering noises, but he didn't cry, he was just waving his little arms around, in his father's embrace.

"Give him to me," Scully called from her bed.

"No way," Mulder gently disagreed. "You carried him for nine months. Now is my turn."

"Will you also say that when he starts to constantly keep us awake at nights?" she wondered.

"Sure," Mulder confirmed, not being much of a sleeper himself. "We'll keep each other company just fine. I'll never get bored of this guy."

Scully smiled. She couldn't take her eyes off them, and she was pretty sure that she would never get bored of watching her boys.

"Give him to me," she repeated. "He needs to eat, and I don't think your breasts have any milk."

"He's not hungry," Mulder insisted. "Why do you have to keep him on all those schedules from the very beginning?"

Still, he obediently returned the baby to Scully and took a seat by the bed to observe the feeding. It was mind-blowing to watch female breasts being used the way nature intended, and his son was a pro at that.

Everything about him was mind-blowing and amazing. The only regret Mulder had was not making him the old-fashioned way, but at least he _did_ make him, and it was the best thing he ever did.

Unlike Emily. He didn't get to see his little girl as a baby. He never changed her diapers, didn't know her first word and had no one to ask about that or million other little things that he wanted to know about his Starbuck.

She was still in the surgery. All alone.

Scully noticed his mood change, and she took his hand in hers, holding him firmly. She didn't say anything. There was nothing to discuss. Their worries and hopes were exactly the same.

William fell asleep shortly after the feeding, and Mulder carefully placed him in his little bed next to his mom's. He didn't allow him to be taken away from Scully, not even for a check-up. There was no incident, no suspicious people around, no one trying to take him from them, but Mulder was not willing to take chances.

"Mulder, come here," Scully called him. She moved to make room for him on the bed, and he hesitantly climbed in beside her. She turned her back to him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Is this allowed?" he asked.

"No," she said simply. Neither of them moved. Rule breaking has always been their thing.

They stayed like that for a while, until Scully started to doze off, but Mulder's brain kept working overtime.

"Jackson…" he said out of nowhere. "Where did she come up with that?"

"I have no idea," Scully chuckled. "It sounds more like a surname."

"Yeah… Lone Gunmen told me they did a bit research. It means _son of Jack_."

"Oh…" Scully yawned. "It makes sense."

"I guess… I just… Scully?"

"Mmm… What?"

"Do you know anyone named Jack?"

"Jack? No… I mean, just my pizza guy."

"Pizza guy? _Your_ pizza guy? Since when do you order pizza?"

"Since Jack started delivering," Scully giggled. Mulder was kissing her neck and his beard tickled her. He didn't have time to shave since before _the son of Jack_ was born.

"Ok, ok," she pushed him away and turned on her back to face him. "I'll name my baby _Foxson_ instead."

"Don't you dare," Mulder warned her, shutting her up with kisses on the lips now. He snuggled closer to her, devouring her with passion, until he remembered where they were.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not really moving away. "I didn't… I mean… Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," Scully smiled reassuringly. "You, on the other hand, look like you really need a cold shower."

"Sorry…" he slumped back down, next to her. "I need all kind of showers… But first, I need to know she's going to be ok."

"She's a fighter," Scully sighed. She didn't know what else to say. Just the thought of Emily brought a lump to her throat that made talking a bit harder.

"She is afraid," Mulder said. "She lives in constant fear of being abandoned. I think that's why she wakes in tears at nights… It's not nightmares, it's waking up all alone… Not knowing if we are still in the other room or gone forever, like her first parents. She doesn't want us to know what she's going through. I think… It think she fears not being good enough for us."

"Have you been profiling out daughter, Mulder?"

"Not just her, Scully. This whole situation doesn't add up. Why they gave her to us… Even our social worker… Don't you find it strange that she claimed I would be a more suitable parent than you?"

 _Or finding out you were married before_ , Scully thought, but didn't say it. It wasn't time to bring that up, and as far as she was concerned it would never be the time to discuss it. There was no reason for that thought to keep popping into her mind, and she was determined to exorcise it.

"Where are you getting at?" she asked instead.

"I don't know…" Mulder sighed. He stayed quiet for a moment, then went on with developing his theory. "I think they were trying to separate us. Break us up."

"By giving us a daughter?"

"They must have thought we are not up for it. That we are too different and wouldn't make it work. After years of failing to come between us professionally, they tried to mess with our private lives instead."

"What about William?"

"I'm not sure. Emily's cure seems to be legit, and we did all the tests we could to reasonably conclude it should work. Maybe they thought another child would make it even harder for us. Especially if I had a lover."

"A lover?" Scully's heart stopped beating for a moment, then rushed like crazy to compensate for it.

"It was a long time ago. The way things ended between us… She would never try to get close to me again. Except that she did."

"What are you talking about?" Scully asked, even though she feared the answer.

"About a woman who gave me the cure," Mulder admitted. "She openly flirted with me, kissed me even. But that's as far as it went."

"Was she your…?"

"My partner. Yes, she once was."

"…your wife?"

"No. No, it wasn't her. We weren't married, she just broke my heart. The X-files were all I had left and all that mattered ever since."

"Oh…"

"Until I met you. Maybe that's what they are trying to do, to make us quit our work, for the sake of our family. We don't just have each other to protect anymore, it's four of us now. We can't go on like we used to…"

"Would that be such a bad thing to do?"

"What? Quitting FBI? Is that what you want to do?"

"I've thought about it. I could go back to teaching or being a doctor. You could stay, though. You don't need me all that much."

"I'll always need you, Scully."

"Maybe our children need me more…"

"If that's what you feel is best…"

"I don't know… It's just a thought. I want to do what's best for the kids. Do you think Emily should see a specialist? Someone she could talk to?"

"I think she feels comfortable talking to your mother."

"My mother isn't a psychologist."

"She's a grandmother. That's more important. Emily loves her and trusts her."

Mention of her mother warmed Scully's heart. She was grateful to have her, but she wished Mulder could have the same.

"Have you called your mom yet?" she asked him.

"No," he sighed. "I want to, but… She made it clear she wouldn't appreciate it."

"She is still your mother. You can't avoid her forever."

Mulder closed his eyes and rubbed the base of his nose. It's not that he didn't want to call his mom. He wanted to shout to the whole world that he had a son, a perfect baby boy whose birth he witnessed, but still couldn't believe it really happened. He wanted everybody to know and celebrate with him.

But the world never appreciated his joy, always trying to bring him down instead. The world was full of evil and monsters that wanted to harm his innocent baby, just like they harmed his little girl. Not even his own mother wanted to share his happiness. Nothing and no one was on his side.

No one but Scully.

Ok, Lone Gunmen too. And Skinner, occasionally. Sure, there was his mother in law, as well. Maybe Danny. Even Scully's nurse seemed to like him. Perhaps it wasn't all that bad.

Suddenly, despite all the darkness, the world felt like a warm, friendly place. William made it that way. The kid clearly had superpowers. Gleaming with pride, Mulder turned to Scully and kissed her in the forehead. The day was hot and they were starting to sweat, so it was time for him to get out of that bed. Just in time, too, since Skinner appeared shortly afterwards.

"The surgery went well," he quickly informed them, before they even managed to grab each other's hand. "The prognosis are great. You can go sit with her soon and her doctor will fill you in. But she made it through, Mulder. She is going to be okay."

"Thank you, sir," Scully responded, since Mulder lost the ability to speak. He sat back on the bed, with tears in his eyes, and Scully clasped his hand tighter, feeling it shake in hers.

Skinner approached him and squeezed his shoulder.

"She's going to be fine," he repeated. "It's over, Mulder. I'll be in the hall if you need me."

He looked at Scully, and she nodded, then he left back to guard them from a distance. He was exhausted, and he could only imagine how much more exhausted his agents had to be. But his work was done. No one came for the baby, and Emily's surgery went well. They were safe, for now, which was the safest any of them could ever be. It was enough.

Sensing that something big was going on, William woke up and started to cry. Mulder quickly composed himself and carefully picked him up.

"It's ok, buddy," he whispered to him. "Your sister is going to be fine. Thanks to you, son. I couldn't save mine, but you saved yours. You are already a much bigger man than I ever was and I will always be proud of you."

William quickly calmed down again, so Mulder kissed him on the forehead and returned him to bed. He then turned back to Scully, with a fresh tear sliding down his cheek.

"Go," she told him.

In no time, he was sitting next to Emily's bed, waiting for her to wake up. Just like Skinner, doctors had nothing but good news and optimistic prognosis for her. The girl wasn't just a fighter, she was a winner.

Mulder made sure to tell her that. He told her how loved and wanted she was, how she changed his life, how special she is… He wanted her to wake up listening to those words, knowing that she isn't alone and never will be. Even when Scully and he grew old and passed away, she would still have her brother by her side. She would meet a wonderful man and have children of her own… She would have many friends and as many little hamsters as she wanted. No more tests and no more hospitals. She could be anything she wanted to be in her life, and whatever she chose her daddy would always support her decision.

He held her hand the entire time.

It worked.

"Daddy?" she said before even opening her eyes.

"I'm here," he assured her, raising her hand to his lips. She slowly turned her head towards him and gave him a weak smile.

"Was I brave?" she wanted to know.

"Yes," Mulder couldn't stop the tears. "Very brave. Your surgery went really well. I'm proud of you, Starbuck."

"Then why are you crying, daddy?"

"Because I'm happy you are awake. It's the tears of joy. I promise."

"I'm happy too. He likes my name better," she said with content.

"Who?" Mulder was confused.

"The baby," Emily explained. "He likes the name Jackson more than William."

"How do you know?"

"Daddy, I know! He is inside me. In the surgery… They put him inside me…"

Mulder froze at her words. They never told her what the surgery was about. She wasn't supposed to know that her donation came from her brother. She was too young to understand it. Could the doctors have been so irresponsible to say something in front of her? He was suddenly furious, but now wasn't the time to act on that. He hoped she would just forget all about it after the anesthesia completely wore off. He knew drugs could make people say all kind of weird stuff.

"Rest now," he said, stroking her hair. "I will be here."

* * *

 **What will Mulder and Scully decide next? Please vote:**

 **a) They'll both quit FBI**

 **b) Only Scully will quit, to become a stay-at-home mom**

 **c) Only Scully will quit, to find a safer job**

 **d) Only Mulder will quit, to find a safer job**

 **e) Only Mulder will quit, to become a stay-at-home dad**

 **f) They will both stay in The X files.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Well then, your votes just made Scully quit her job… Let's see what's next!**

* * *

"I can't be in the field anymore," Scully said. "At least not right now. My children have to come first."

"I understand," Skinner sighed. He glanced at the resignation letter she's given him, contemplating tearing it off and throwing it in the garbage. He wanted to refuse her resignation, but knew he had no right, legal or moral. She was doing this for all the right reasons.

"I could give you a desk job," he suggested. "Or transfer you to a lab. We have many options that you are qualified for."

"I know," Scully nodded. "I'd just like to give medical profession another chance."

It wasn't completely true, and they both knew it. Medicine was never her passion, which is why she joined the FBI in the first place. That hadn't changed. Despite plenty of obstacles, despite having a strange reputation and being ridiculed for her work, she would have preferred to stay with the FBI.

She knew it wouldn't work, though. Mulder would keep calling her throughout the day, asking for professional advice, or simply out of boredom. She would find herself back in the basement in no time, and her new job would suffer for it. Mulder was impossible to say no to, and she didn't want either of them to be tempted to fall back into their tense, but so comfortable partnership. If she was going to leave the X files, she had to leave the FBI too.

Based on her previous experience, romance and work didn't go well together. Her children had to come first, but her marriage was second. Work was on a high third place, but still third, after years of being the only reason to wake up in the morning…

Everything has changed now, and adjustments needed to be made. Scully didn't hesitate leaving her old life behind, but it was still a very hard thing to do.

"You will be missed, Dana," Skinner said warmly, offering his hand. "And I'm not talking just about your expertise."

"Thank you, sir," she was barely holding back the tears. The thought of never again meeting in this office was too painful, so she tried not to think about it. She would treat it just like any other day. After all, it didn't have to be forever. Maybe one day, when the kids are older…

"What do I do with Mulder now?" Skinner almost chuckled.

"Get him another partner," Scully smiled. "I want someone to have his back."

"It won't be easy. He won't be thrilled with the idea of sharing his work with someone new."

"I know. I've been there. Just do your best and I'll help talk some sense into him."

"Good luck with that," Skinner smiled conspiratorially. He was still holding her hand. Firmly. It was hard to let her go and the situation soon got awkward. They weren't good at saying goodbye. They didn't know what was expected of them.

Should they hug? Or stay professional? Would it be rude to dismiss her now? Or would it be rude not to?

Neither of them knew.

In the end, they decided to treat this as just another meeting and not make a big deal out of it. With a shaky hand, Scully placed her badge and gun on Skinner's desk. He walked her to the door and watched her walk down the hall. She didn't turn back, not even after she entered the elevator. Just like that, he lost one of his best agents, one that taught him the most, and he didn't even try to stop her. This was what she wanted, what she deserved.

Mulder was waiting in the basement, throwing pencils at the ceiling. He wanted to go with her, but Scully had asked for privacy. She'd said it would be harder to do it in front of him, but he suspected she also wanted a moment alone with Skinner, the man who guarded her while she gave birth, and countless times before. Even though Mulder knew he had nothing to worry about, he still didn't like the thought of her and Skinner behind the closed door.

He didn't like any of it. He couldn't concentrate on work, so he just anxiously threw pencils, waiting for her return and hoping against hope that she would change her mind in the last minute.

She didn't. He could see it on her face when she returned to their office.

Well, _his_ office, as of today.

"What did Skinner say?" he asked.

"He wished me luck," Scully answered. Mulder felt a sting of betrayal, not from her, but from his boss. Why didn't Skinner try to make her change her mind? Not that he could, but still…

"So…" he threw another pencil and watched it stuck up there, while Scully grabbed an empty box and started to collect her possessions.

"So," she said, keeping busy and not looking at him either. "This is it."

She placed some medical books in the box, then approached the desk and opened the drawer. Mulder turned to her and watched her take out small mementos from their adventures: Queequeeg's collar, two intertwined pennies, a keychain he once gave her for her birthday… There wasn't really much of it, since Scully was a neat person who didn't like to gather unnecessary items. By the time she was done, her box was only half-full. She placed it on the desk and sighed, looking around as if she saw the office for the first time.

"I never had a desk in here," she said without thinking.

Hearing that, Mulder grabbed the nameplate and threw it at the door.

"What difference does it make whose the desk is?" he snapped. "Everything I have is yours!"

"Mulder…"

"Forget about the labels, Scully," he stood up and went to kick the waste bin. "My desk, my children, my soul… It's all yours."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, choking on unshed tears. She knew leaving would be hard, she just didn't know it would be _this_ hard. For both of them.

"Just go," Mulder told her sharply, with his back on her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He was right, she should just go. Any second more she spent in the office would feel like eternal torture, and she wasn't sure which one of them was hurting more. The quicker this was over, the better.

"I'll see you at home," she said as she walked out of there, allowing Mulder to finally let his tears fall. He sat back down and buried his head in his hands, overwhelmed with loneliness and feeling of abandonment.

A pencil fell on the desk in front him. After a moment, another one fell on his head. He scratched the landing spot and looked around with sadness. It didn't look much different, though. Scully really didn't have many personal possessions and there was no indication in the office that she had left for good.

He got up to retrieve the nameplate and when he placed it on its spot on the desk, he noticed something new. Scully didn't only take her things, she also brought something new to replace them. It was a picture frame, nothing fancy, just a regular photo of her and Mulder with the kids, taken on the day when Emily finally got released from the hospital.

Their first evening with both William and Emily. The whole family.

Mulder took the frame to watch it from closer, feeling everything being right in his world again. He may not have Scully in the office anymore, but he got this picture to look at every day, for the whole day.

Not in the office, but he had her at home, and that… That was so much better.

* * *

 **What kind of a new partner will Mulder get? Choose multiple options (and add other ideas if you have them):**

 **a) An evil one**

 **b) A good one**

 **c) A man**

 **d) A woman**

 **e) A skeptic**

 **f) A believer**

 **g) Someone who likes him**

 **h) Someone who hates him**

 **i) Someone who is in love with him**

 **j) Someone older than him**

 **k) Someone younger than him**

 **l) Someone his age**

 **m) A spy**

 **n) An ally**

 **o) No new partner, he will work alone from now on**


	20. Chapter 20

**Haha, I thought about suggesting Dogget and Reyes, but I'm soooooooo not into those characters. I don't care about them one bit (and I actually consider Dogget the worse character the show ever had, mostly because his voice is sooooooo incredibly annoying), so I didn't think I could write them in a remotely believable way. There is a reason for the choices that I refuse to offer, haha. But, since this turned into a story influenced by requests as well as votes, I've decided to go out of my way and do the unimaginable to give you what (I think) you want. If it turns out of character or something, just remember, it wasn't my idea ;)**

* * *

William turned out to be a handful baby, especially for his dad. Mulder adored him and was dedicated on spending as much time with him as he could, but William refused to bond with him and nobody could figure out why.

Well, Emily knew, but nobody paid attention to her advices. At first she kept her distance and minded her own business, but one day, when Scully was out for a doctor's appointment, she had had enough of the screaming and finally took pity on her brother.

"Don't hold him so close!" she told Mulder. "He doesn't like that."

"Not now, Emily," Mulder pressed the baby closer, not really registering Emily's words. He was exhausted and on the verge of snapping, yet William seemed to have enough energy to keep screaming forever.

"Not Emily," the girl protested. "Starbuck!"

"Starbuck," Mulder grudgingly agreed. "Can you find something else to do? I really need to calm him down."

"You can't," she insisted. "He doesn't like your smell!"

"That's nonsense. I've just had a shower. I smell fine."

"But daddy!"

"Enough!" Mulder yelled, upsetting both children even further. He didn't mean to, but he felt a sense of relief when it came out. However, when he turned to Emily, the relief turned to terror.

She was crying. But this wasn't a cry of a spoiled child throwing tantrums, these were silent tears of a broken spirit. She wasn't sobbing, though her little body was shaking, as if she had a life-time of pain hidden inside that she feared showing.

"I'm sorry," Mulder was instantly on his knees in front of her. He wanted to hug her, but the screaming baby was in the way.

"He doesn't like your smell," Emily repeated fearfully.

"Okay, maybe he doesn't," Mulder accepted. "But he's gonna have to get used to it. I'm his father and I'm not going anywhere."

"But it's too strong," Emily weakly insisted.

"What is?" Mulder looked at her quizzically, until it finally downed on him. "My aftershave?"

Emily nodded, not daring to talk anymore. She didn't even need to, because Mulder swiftly stood up, placed William in the baby carrier and took him to the bathroom. There, he placed the carrier on the floor and took off his shirt. He grabbed the soap, turned on the water in the sink, and thoroughly scrubbed his face and neck. William's screaming turned into a pathetic whining, but when Mulder picked him up again he instantly calmed down, snuggling to his bare skin.

"I'm sorry, buddy," Mulder whispered. He took the bottle of his aftershave and tossed it in the trash. "No more of this, I promise."

By the time Mulder took him to his crib, William was already asleep.

Emily was still standing in the living room, broken. Mulder returned to her and kneeled down to her level.

"Hey," he said, gently moving a string of her hair. She shivered at the contact.

"I'm sorry," Mulder said. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I never meant to hurt you."

"I'm fine," Emily sniffed.

"Don't give me that line. You don't look fine, and you have the right to be upset."

"Don't be mad at me, daddy," she begged him.

"I'm not mad," Mulder tried to assure her, his heart broking into million pieces. "I'm… I'm sorry. I made a mistake and I need you to forgive me. Can you forgive me, Starbuck?"

Emily nodded, looking at the floor.

"Look at me," Mulder gently lifted her chin with his thumb. Her eyes obediently, but fearfully met his, showing the depth of pain no child should ever go through. It was always there, just under the surface, ready to awake in all it's glory by the slightest of triggers. Emily was so damaged and sensitive, yet had the silent strength to endure it all, standing in the middle of the storm no matter what life decided to throw at her. She never ran, never hid, and Mulder admired the hell out of her.

"Do you still love me?" she managed to ask through tears.

"I will always love you," Mulder was starting to chock as well. "You are a part of me and nothing can ever change that. We may disagree sometimes, but that will never affect my feelings for you. I'm sorry that I yelled and that I didn't listen to you. I care about your opinion, I just… What you were saying didn't make sense to me. I thought I knew better, but you were right and I was wrong. And I, of all people, know what it feels like when people don't listen to you because what you are trying to say sounds strange to them, even if it's true. I don't want you to feel like that with me ever again."

Emily didn't seem to understand much of what he was trying to say, so Mulder figured he should show her instead. He pressed his lips on her forehead for a long kiss, then pulled her into an embrace.

"I love you," he said simply, not letting go of her.

"I love you too, daddy," Emily sniffed, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "And I like how you smell."

"Thank you," Mulder chuckled.

Scully found them snuggled like that.

"What's going on here?" she asked when neither of them seemed to notice her arrival.

"Mommy!" Emily jumped happily and ran to wrap her little arms around her. Mulder was relieved to see his child return to her normal self. He managed to fix the damage he'd done, and now he had to make sure to never hurt her like that again.

"What's going on here?" Scully repeated, confused.

"I love you, mommy," Emily said to her stomach, ignoring the question that she didn't really understand.

"I love you too, darling," Scully stroked her hair lovingly. "Where is William?"

"He's sleeping. Daddy removed the smell so he stopped crying."

Scully raised her eyebrow, looking at Mulder for translation. He just shrugged, signaling that he would explain later.

Finally forgetting the pain, Emily went to paint, leaving her parents alone.

"What did the doctor say?" Mulder asked, not ready to talk about what just happened yet.

"Everything's fine," Scully said.

"Everything?"

"Yeah, it's… I can… do… everything as before." She felt awkward. William was already three months old, and she recovered from his birth long ago. There was no reason to keep waiting, yet the physical aspect of her marriage was never brought up after they briefly agreed on it during the inappropriate semi-public occasion.

"You mean…"

"Yeah," she nodded, unable to keep his gaze. He was standing too close, it was getting too hot, and… It didn't quite feel the way it should feel. She was trying to shake that feeling off, but of course Mulder noticed.

"If you are not ready…" he started, but she cut him off.

"I'm ready," she bravely raised her gaze again. Mulder smiled and was about to kiss her, which for some reason freaked her out and she felt the need to change the subject immediately.

"What happened here?" she asked. "What was Emily talking about the smell?"

"My aftershave," Mulder sighed. "She thinks it bothers the baby. William kept crying and I lost control and yelled at her. I feel awful. I can't seem to do anything right today. I even made Agent Doggett cry."

"You made your partner cry?"

"Well, almost. I think."

"We talked about this, Mulder. You need to be nice to the person who has your back and not expect everyone to turn Krycek on you. You have to make an effort."

"I did! I am. It's just… It's hard to see someone else in your place. And honestly, Agent Doggett is…"

"… a nice and competent Agent who I really like and who deserves a chance."

"Who still isn't you."

"Mulder, you'd get sick of me if you had me both at work and at home. I prefer being missed from time to time."

"Oh, is that so?" Mulder winked and they both smiled. He kissed her now and she returned it, the moment of awkwardness gone. She trusted him with her life and soul, she could trust him with her body just as well. There was no reason to be nervous. He tasted good, undefined and unexplainable taste, yet strangely familiar, like a mix of sunflower seeds and the X files. The night was going to be long, full of promises and expectations.

But it was still evening and Emily was still awake, so Scully pulled away.

"We _are_ getting along," Mulder returned to the subject. "In fact, Luke is staying with his father this weekend and we are invited to come for a dinner on Saturday. He is a few years older than Emily, but Agent Doggett thinks Emily and him would get along. What do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea," Scully agreed. "She has recovered completely and there is no reason to keep shielding her from the world. She could use a friend closer to her age than William. Or us."

"He's been through a lot as well, so they might bond over that. Even though it's been a few years since his kidnapping, Luke hasn't fully recovered. He still has nightmares and wets the bed. No wonder, the poor kid was almost found too late."

"I will never understand how anybody could do such things to children. Experiments, kidnappings, even murders… Makes you wonder if it's the right thing to do to bring those innocent lives into this world."

"Nothing feels more right to me. If anybody can change the world, it's the children. They come with hope and healing, and they are survivors. After all the horrible things Emily and Luke had been exposed to, they are still here. They are still smiling. They are the future, for all of us."

"Yeah, they are," Scully agreed, with tears forming in her eyes. She never managed to listen to Mulder's inspired speeches with a dry eye. She came closer again, and this time initiated the kiss herself. Slow and lazily, they explored and enjoyed each other, ending it with a long gaze.

"So," Scully broke the silence, turning to the fridge to fix something for dinner. "You still haven't told me what you did to make your new partner cry."

" _Almost_ cry," Mulder corrected her. "I very politely and nicely asked her to turn off the damn whale song. That's all."

* * *

 **So if Emily is alive, why not Luke too, right? How do you want them to get along? Please vote:**

 **a) They should become friends**

 **b) They should become best friends**

 **c) They should fall in love**

 **d) They should hate each other**

 **e) They should be indifferent to each other**


	21. Chapter 21

"Wait," she pushed him, adding something that he couldn't understand. He stilled and asked her to repeat.

"Let me be on top," Scully said. Mulder had no objection to that. He rolled over and watched her climb onto him.

As it turned out, being on top didn't make it easier. Scully adjusted a few times, but each position seemed to be at least as bad as the previous one. Her body refused to co-operate, to give in. Well, there was nothing else to do but brace herself and…

…and his strong hands on her hips lifted her up and dropped her on the bed next to him. She hardly managed to suppress a huge sigh of relief.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mulder wanted to know.

"I'm fine," was all she came up with, but Mulder wasn't buying it. It pissed him off.

"Well, I'm not," he snapped. He got up, found his boxers and put them on, then left to the bathroom without another word, restraining his anger from a dangerous near eruption.

Scully sat on the bed with her feet on the floor and buried her face in her hands. She wanted to get up and put on her pajama, but moving required too much effort. She felt drained and defeated, even almost afraid of the unsatisfied, frustrated man that was about to come back at any moment.

Unless he decided to sleep on the couch.

Which, luckily or not, he didn't.

He lied down without looking at her or acknowledging her presence. If he wasn't going to say something, then she had to. As embarrassing as it was, silence felt much worse.

"I'm sorry. It's been a long time for me and my body just needs to adjust…"

"I am not bigger than William's head," Mulder brushed her off coldly. "And he didn't came so long ago."

"I know," Scully softly agreed. She turned to him and stroked his belly. "I want to try again."

"I am not in the mood," he brushed her hand off him. He wasn't even trying to hurt her, the mere thought of her stiff and tense body as she practically tried to force him on herself effectively killed his libido.

"Mulder…" she tried to protest, but her voice broke. He watched her eyes fill with tears and her little body starting to shake. She was still naked, so he wrapped a blanket around her.

"Why?" he asked, gently this time.

"I don't know what to tell you…" Scully sighed miserably. "I just want to get it over with."

"Get it over with?!" he was starting to get royally pissed again. What the hell got into his wife? If she'd intentionally tried to infuriate him, she wouldn't have done a better job.

"Isn't that what you want?" she snapped as well.

"To hurt you?!"

"To have…" but she couldn't say the word. As if not being able to perform wasn't humiliating enough, she couldn't even handle the name of the act. "…your needs fulfilled," she settled with at last. "You've waited long enough."

"First of all, I'm not waiting _that_ anxiously. And second of all, I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Mulder, but you shouldn't have to. I want to be the one to do this for you."

Mulder sighed and came closer to her. She was still shaking, even under the blanket. He wanted to put his arms around her, but they were in such an awkward place. It saddened him. His anger was gone and replaced with self-judgment. How could he have missed the signs that led them to this?

"What about you?" he asked sadly. "What are your needs?"

"The same as yours," she answered reluctantly. "I want this work."

"Could it be a medical problem? Some kind of infection?"

"I've been checked," Scully insisted. "Multiple times. Everything's fine."

"Ok," he sat on the floor, resting his back on the side of the bed. It was easier this way, not having to look at her. "Ok. Is it… Do you need to talk to someone about this?"

"About what?" she stood abruptly and began to pace. "Being married for almost two years without ever ... Ever…"

"Scully," he tried to say something, but it only made her talk faster. Walk faster. It was as if she not only wanted to block his voice, but his presence as well.

"About having two children with a man that is…"

"Scully!" he tried again. She raised her arms in a defensive position, and moved to the other end of the room, as far away from him as she could. She quickly reached the wall and there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.

"How do I ever start explaining any of that to anybody?" she concluded, leaning on the wall for support.

Mulder made a few steps towards her, but changed his mind and remained standing on the safe distance. She looked like a desperate, trapped animal, who would interpret any attempt of help as an attack.

"You don't have to explain any of that," he said softly. "You've been… raped, Scully. That's all the therapist would need to know."

"God!" she pressed the base of her palms to her eyes, as hard as she could, and slid down to the floor. "Please don't say that."

"It's the truth," Mulder ignored her plead. "I know you don't remember your abduction, but it only makes it worse. Your body remembers, Scully. The way you react to my touch…"

"My god, Mulder!" she stopped him. She couldn't listen to that. Anything but that! "It has nothing to do with…"

"And what about Emily? The way she came to this world…"

"I love Emily!"

"So do I! But it doesn't make it right. To make a child like that, for such a devious purpose… It's not just you, Scully. We were both violated."

"Stop," she whispered, unable to find her full voice.

"Have you…" he sat on the bed, too shaken to keep standing. "After your abduction, how many men have you been with?"

He looked at the floor, unable to bring himself to look at her. He needed to ask, but he dreaded the answer. All he got was silence. It lasted for almost eternity. Mulder started to wonder if he went too far, if Scully was going to kick him out of her apartment now, file for divorce and legally prevent him from ever seeing his children again.

But then she spoke.

"None," she said, calmly and honestly. She raised her head and stared at the opposite wall, not seeing anything. There were no tears, and she could almost swear she would never be able to cry again.

"Not even Ed Jerse?" Mulder really didn't know when to stop.

"Ed Jerse?" it took her a moment to remember that name. The guy with the tattoo that told him to kill her? Right. "No, I didn't sleep with him. I wanted to, but… I couldn't."

She braced herself for Mulder's reaction, expecting him to bring up that horrible word again. Rape. It brought chills to her bones. What an inaccurate way to describe what she'd been subjected to, and yet, strangely and terrifyingly, there wasn't a single word that would explain her experience better.

Mulder felt relieved. It was the question that bothered him for a long time, even after he gave up hope of ever finding out the answer. He didn't think he would ever dare to ask, and even if he did, he doubted she would tell him. Now a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Scully didn't sleep with Ed Jerse after all. Not that it would matter if she did, it wouldn't change anything even if she gave birth to his evil twin babies, but he was still glad that she didn't.

Before any of them spoke again, William started to cry.

"I'll get him," Mulder said, quickly getting up. He went to the children's room and found Emily sitting in her bed, squinting in the crib's direction.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

"He wants a hug," Emily informed him. "Can you hold him?"

"Yeah," Mulder went to pick up his son. "Yeah, I can do that."

He checked his diaper, it was dry.

"Is he hungry?" he asked Emily.

"No," she said.

"Does his tummy hurt?"

"No."

"Is he hot? Cold?"

"No, daddy, he just wants a hug!"

Mulder was unconvinced, but everything seemed to be fine, so there wasn't much more he could do with the baby than hug and rock him. As usual, Emily was right, and William soon went back to sleep. Mulder returned him to his crib and turned to his daughter, who was still sitting and carefully observing his every move.

"Do _you_ need a hug?" he asked her. One child down, one to go.

She shook her head no, with just a hint of reluctance.

"Do you want one?" Mulder slightly rephrased the question.

Emily nodded this time. Mulder sat on her bed and pulled her into an embrace. He held her for a while longer than usual, needing it himself more than he realized.

"Daddy, why are you crying?" she asked him when he finally let her go.

"I'm not crying," he said in surprise, only becoming aware of his tears when her little fingers reached up to wipe them away.

"Are you sad?" she asked him.

"Yes," he responded honestly.

"Why?"

"I was thinking about the bad people and what they did to you and your mom."

"But I am cured now. We fixed it."

"Yes," he smiled. "We did."

He pressed his lips on her forehead. "Do you want to come sleep with us?"

"No," Emily refused. "I'm not afraid anymore. I want to stay with Jackson and Genie."

"Ok," Mulder smiled. "Then go back to bed. It's late."

Emily obediently lied down and Mulder tucked her in.

"Goodnight, Starbuck."

"Goodnight, Ahab."

Mulder chuckled when she couldn't see him anymore. It was such a joy, and so easy to be her hero. And William's, once he got rid of his aftershave. Being a father was the greatest adventure of his life, and the gift that just kept on giving.

His joy faded when he returned to Scully's bedroom and found her in the bed, but clearly not sleeping. The air was still overflowing with tension, and neither of them spoke as he climbed in beside her. He couldn't stand it. He had to fix it, whatever it took.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, snuggling close to her. He could feel her body tensing, but insisted on spooning her.

"I won't try anything," he promised. "I just want to hold you."

She allowed him, but didn't participate. He pulled her closer, searching for her feet with his, finding them cold as usual, even in the summer.

"I'm not made of glass, Mulder," she told him. "I won't break if you touch me."

"Not like this, Scully," he said sleepily. "It's not good for me if it's not good for you."

"This isn't fair to you. I know you've been looking forward to this for a long time, and I can't bear to disappoint you. You've been following so closely my doctor's appointments, always asking if everything's ok, and now that it is…"

"Please stop. I wasn't asking because of that. I just needed to know that you're ok."

"Sure," she wasn't convinced.

"I've watched you give birth," he reminded her.

"Fine."

"As amazing as it was, it was also messy and scary, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could have gone wrong."

"Whatever."

"You know, I'm not getting any younger," Mulder tried a different tactic. "One day, inevitably, I won't raise to the occasion, and if you judge me then half as much as you are judging yourself now, I suppose I'm gonna have to kill myself."

That did the trick. It made her giggle and she visibly relaxed in his arms.

"We'll get there," he tried to assure her.

"When?" she sighed. "We are already married, with children. Mulder, we are doing it backwards!"

"So? When did we ever care about the rules?"

"I did. I do. I try to, at least."

"Shhh," Mulder shushed her with tiny kisses on the neck that tickled her and made her giggle. But then he stilled and just held her, listening to her breathing. Neither of them was close to getting any sleep.

"I know you've been married before," she said after a while. "But I haven't. I've always thought I would only marry once, out of love that will last for the rest of our lives… Not to a man who is just a friend. Not in order to adopt a child. I guess… As long as we don't consummate it, it isn't really valid… I can keep my childhood dream intact."

"Are you trying to tell me you're still a virgin?" Mulder joked.

"No," Scully chuckled. "Just that I take a marriage seriously, and us being married makes this… beginning of a relationship that much harder for me. It will hurt more when it ends."

"Who says it has to end?"

"It has to, Mulder. It was all a lie from the beginning. We never intended for it to last."

"We never intended not to…"

"We didn't talk about it, but it was implied from the start. We did what we had to, not what we wanted to."

"Scully, this isn't just on papers for me. It never was. I am committed to you and I do take it seriously. I never wanted my first marriage to end and I didn't take it lightly at all. But I'm glad it did, because I got something better. I got you. And I never think about you as my second wife, you are _the_ wife. The only one. This marriage will end only if you choose to end it, because I never will."

"You say that now, but…"

"No, I don't just say it. I mean it. I never broke up with anybody, not even when the relationship was toxic and hopeless. I never gave up on anybody, the women in my life always had to make that step. You met Phoebe, I was really miserable with her, but when she appeared again I was willing to let her back in, just like that, despite my better judgement. Now, if I can't break up with the wrong women, what makes you think I would ever give up on the right one?"

Scully remained silent, but Mulder could hear her thinking, digesting his words and coming up with millions of counter arguments. When she finally spoke though, all that came out was a simple question.

"What makes you think I'm the right one?"

"Because I can be myself with you," his answer was ready. "You see me for who I am, and accept me completely, my strengths and my weaknesses. You know me better than I can ever hope to know myself… You are a part of me, Scully, even when you second guess my every damn word, or lie here naked and explain to me that being married to me is the reason you can't have sex with me."

"Mulder!" she chuckled. "That is not what I said."

"I'm sorry, Scully, but it kinda is," he kept on teasing. She turned on her back to look at him.

"I'm such a mess, aren't I?" she sighed.

"You are a challenge. And every man likes a good challenge. Maybe we have to slow down for now, but we'll get there, ok?"

"Ok," she whispered, not entirely convinced. She was grateful for his support, but her mind kept providing her with proofs of her complete inadequacy.

Mulder could still hear her thinking and he knew exactly what he had to do: find a way to bypass her thoughts and take her to a place where her own mind won't be able to interfere… Then keep making sure she never has a reason to leave.

* * *

 **So, can they make it work? Please vote:**

 **a) Of course! Nothing can stand between them!**

 **b) Not without lots of angst first!**

 **c) I couldn't care less. I don't know why I even bother voting.**

 **d) No, unresolved sexual tension is better!**

 **e) No. They are better as friends.**

 **f) Would you please stop playing games with us and let them finally do it?**

 **g) You are worse than Chris Carter! Well, almost…**


	22. Chapter 22

**Why is there more f) votes than a)? Both is for sex, but a) is about overcoming the issues first, while the f) is just about doing it as soon as possible. And what do you think will happen if I make Scully have sex before she's ready and Mulder a jerk who would go with it? Lucky for you, there were more a) votes than g), so you don't need to find that out. And yeah, I can totally do g), read my story "Happily never after" if that's what you want, haha.**

 **I understand your frustration about this story not going exactly the way you want it to. That is why I gave you these voting choices, to show you that you are heard. I even projected your feelings onto Scully, making her frustrated for not being able to "just do it" like she (and you) wanted to. But this is still my story and it has to work for me first. Having everything my way is one of the biggest reasons I write, so I'm not giving it up for anything!**

 **I'm not doing this to play with you. I just like to explore difficult situations. I think it's easy to stay together when the sex is mind-blowing, but it takes true love to stay when it's awful, so for me it's much bigger expression of love and commitment.**

 **I understand that many people want fanfiction to be perfect, it gives them a break from real life, but for me that just isn't working. I need it to be realistic, relatable and believable. If my life sucks, I get inspired to overcome my problems by reading about characters who deal with the same or relatable problems, I don't get inspired by characters who have nothing bad ever happen to them, it depresses me because it makes my life sound that much worse in comparison.**

 **This story was never about fulfilling requests, even though I ended up trying to do it when possible. Voting was supposed to be about including you in the story-telling process, not about giving you what you want. It's also a challenge for me to give up a complete control over the plot and accept different choices than I would've made if left to myself. I love trying different things like that. Or like co-writing. I have one amazing co-writer for now and I want more, so if anybody wants to co-write a story with me let me know!**

 **Sorry for a long author's note. Just one more thing and I'll let you go to the next chapter. I wish you would have more fate in me. I put a lot of thought into every chapter and everything happens for a reason. Don't treat every little obstacle (or every lack of mind-blowing sex) like a complete disaster and just enjoy the ride. :)**

* * *

"Agent Dogget," Mulder warmly shook his partner's hand.

"I'm so glad you could come," Monica said sincerely, turning to the man behind her to introduce him. "This is my husband, John."

Mulder and John shook each other's hand. They both said "Nice to meet you," but their body languages told a completely different story.

 _So, you are the man who is sleeping with my partner?_

 _So you are the man who is working with my wife?_

The tension between them was heavy, but everybody else was too busy to notice it.

"Dana," Monica gave Scully a kiss on the cheek. "It's so good to see you. And this must be a little Mulder junior!"

"His name is Jackson," Emily said with shy authority.

"William Jackson," Scully smiled. "And his big sister Emily."

"Hi," Monica offered the girl a hand. "I'm Monica, and this is my husband John. I work with your dad. Would you like to come inside and meet my stepson Luke?"

Emily dropped her gaze to the floor and failed to answer. She'd been looking forward to meeting a new friend, but she wasn't used to playing with children and now that the time has come, her confidence was gone.

"It's ok," Monica tried to assure her. "He's a good kid."

"Go on, Emily," Scully gently nudged her.

Emily reluctantly made a few steps, then rushed towards Mulder and grabbed his leg.

"What's wrong, Starbuck?" Mulder asked her. When she didn't answer, he crouched down to look at her.

"I want to go home," her eyes filled with tears.

"We will, honey, we will," Mulder promised. "But I'm really hungry, do you think we could eat here first?"

"We have an apple pie and ice-cream for dessert," Monica added, luring her in.

Emily sniffed and looked at Mulder with uncertain eyes. He smiled reassuringly and she finally, though halfheartedly, nodded.

The dinner was awkward. John clearly didn't approve his wife working in The X Files, but he was too polite to say it. He just stayed quiet instead. Having FBI agents over for dinner never sat well with him anyway. He didn't like to be reminded of the fact that he used to be one of them, a damn good one who loved the damn job.

He had to give it all up and accept early retirement after he managed to save his only son from the hands of a dangerous psychopath. He got injured, almost lost a leg, and the pain that followed often made him wish that he did. Sometimes he even fantasied about cutting that leg off himself. If it wasn't for Luke and Monica, he wouldn't have much will to live left.

Scully and Monica, on the other hand, got along great with each other. They kept chatting like old friends, while preventing Luke from trying to start a food fight with Emily, who refused to as much as look at him.

When the time for dessert came, Luke decided to tell jokes. That got Emily's attention and she started to giggle, honestly amused while all the adults laughed only out of politeness.

"Dad, can I show her my toys?" Luke asked.

"Sure," John responded.

"Do you want to go see Luke's room?" Monica asked her. "I bet you are bored with us adults here."

Emily hesitated. She looked at Scully for guidance.

"Go," Scully told her. "We will be right here."

Finally, Emily gathered enough courage to leave the table and follow Luke. She still refused to look at him, but he didn't mind at all, he was excited to have company.

"So," Monica stood up. "I'm going to start the dishes. Would you like to give me a hand, Dana?"

"Of course," Scully readily agreed. She glanced at William who was peacefully sleeping, then followed Monica to the kitchen.

"I don't really expect you to help," Monica chuckled when they were out of their husbands' reaches. "I just wanted to give our guys the chance to bond. They've been awfully quiet during dinner."

"I'm sorry," Scully sighed. "Mulder just has a hard time trusting people."

"I know," Monica agreed. "It makes being his partner awfully hard sometimes."

"He's trying. When he gets home he often tells me about how he messed up something with you."

"Really?" Monica smiled. She took a dirty plate from Scully's hands. "I've told you, you don't have to do this. I've got it. You just sit down and relax."

"I want to," Scully took the plate back. "Besides, it will be faster, in case the male bonding doesn't go too well."

They both chuckled and Monica accepted Scully's reasoning.

"I'm glad we have a chance to talk in private," she said. "There's something I've been wanting to ask you, but it's kind of private, so I don't know if I should."

"Go on," Scully encouraged her.

"Well, John and I are trying to get pregnant."

"That's great news. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you. It's just that… I love Luke as if he was my own, and after everything he's been through, I don't want him to feel like we are replacing him. I don't want the baby to come before him, but it will be my own and I worry of handling it wrong… I know it's not the same for you, because Emily is your blood, but you didn't get to give birth to her and… Is there a difference?"

"It makes all the difference in the world," Scully said honestly. "But your heart doesn't know the difference. You love them just the same."

Monica nodded. "That makes me feel better. It's such a relief to be able to talk to someone who understands. I can't discuss this with John, I'm afraid it would hurt him to know about my doubts."

"You have nothing to worry about, but the fact that you do only shows that you are going to be a great mom."

Monica sighed dreamily and temporarily forgot about her guest, lost in the dreams of a baby that she was so eagerly trying to manifest. Meeting William, a little bundle of perfection, fueled her desires to almost unbearable intensity.

She didn't notice her guest suddenly getting quiet and uncomfortable, lost in her own fears and doubts. It's been a long time since Scully had a close female friend, which is probably why she let Monica in deeper than she intended. Mulder's partner reminded her of Melissa, and she was now the woman of The X Files, walking in what for years used to be Scully's shoes. It was already more than Scully ever hoped to get from another woman. And now that Monica opened her heart to her, ready or not, Scully felt an overwhelming need to do the same.

"I think I might be in love," she said before fully forming the thought, knowing that if she stopped to think about what she wanted to say, she would lose the guts to do it. And the burden she was carrying was too heavy to carry alone.

"With Mulder?" Monica didn't miss a beat. "Of course you are!"

"No, you don't understand! Our marriage, it isn't real! It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now… I'm just not sure anymore. About anything!"

"What has changed?"

"He, um, he now wants more."

"And you don't?"

"No, I do. I do. But we still haven't… It's not working out."

"Dana," Monica wiped her hands and placed one on Scully's arm reassuringly. "Have you talked to him about this?"

Scully nodded.

"What did he say?" Monica asked softly, holding her with both hands now.

"He's very understanding, giving me all the time and space that I need. But I… He's acting as if it wasn't a big deal, but it is. I think I would feel better if he just yelled at me or… It doesn't make sense, I know, but…"

"No, it does, I feel your frustration. If you need to yell, Dana, you should do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Find a private place and just yell from the top of your lungs. It's very freeing and it doesn't involve ruining your marriage."

Scully chuckled uncomfortably. Monica's advice sounded unhelpful at the very least. The woman was unorthodox for sure, that was why Scully favorited her amongst other candidates for Mulder's new partner. She thought Mulder and Monica shared a similar point of view when it came to paranormal things, but it turned out they weren't very compatible after all. They were a different type of crazy.

"I'm sorry," Scully turned away from her friend, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. This was a huge mistake. I'm sorry."

She wanted to leave, but Monica stopped her, getting in front her.

"It's ok, Dana, you can trust me. I know your marriage happened under difficult circumstances and it's natural that you have questions and doubts. I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but I've read all the files about Emily I could find and I can paste together at least a part of the story. What I do know for sure is that you love your husband, anybody can see that. And I know that he loves you. Since I've started working with him there hasn't been a day that he didn't mention you. It's always 'Scully would do this', 'Scully would think that'… I know I will never be half as good as you are in his eyes and I've accepted that. I often find him glancing at picture of your kids when he thinks I'm not looking… I've heard stories of Mulder, how he practically lives at the office, but as soon as I've met him it was painfully obvious that he lives for you and the kids."

Scully smiled shyly and wiped away a lonely tear.

"I should check up on William," she said, trying to end the uncomfortable, though much needed conversation. Talking to Monica gave her a bit of a relief, but it also made her feel vulnerable and she has always dreaded that feeling.

"Sure," Monica agreed, even though they both knew William was with Mulder who was perfectly capable of taking care of the baby's needs.

Yet, when they returned to the living room, they found the baby in John's arms, under Mulder's intense supervision. Monica could swear holding the baby made her husband glow and her hand instinctively went to her lower belly. It was a little too soon, but she decided to take the pregnancy test the same night. It felt like god was sending her a sign.

"Can I hold him?" she asked, and the happy, curious baby was swiftly moved into her arms. The sign from god started to glow in bright fluorescent lights.

* * *

 **Do you want Monica to be pregnant? Please vote:**

 **a) Yes, right now**

 **b) Yes, but not yet**

 **c) No, never**


	23. Chapter 23

**Not yet, not yet… I like that choice. Thank you for voting, and thank you for nice reviews. It's hard for me to stay in this fandom after no longer being a fan of the show, and big changes happening in my life make it hard for me to find time and motivation for my stories, so I'm really not sure if I could do it without your support. It really means a lot!**

* * *

Teena Mulder opened her front door to find a stroller with a baby in front of it. Little William waved his arms and legs with joy, but his grandmother remained immune to it. She looked left and right, searching for her son.

Emily couldn't wait anymore, so she jumped from behind the tree, avoiding the hand that reached for her in an attempt to pull her back into hiding.

"Are you my grandma?" she asked shyly, taking cover behind her brother's stroller. She carefully and curiously observed the old woman, not daring to come closer.

"Hello Emily," Teena said firmly, but with a complicated and twisted sadness in her voice. "Where is your father?" She looked around once more. "You can come out now, Fox!"

"It's not Fox," Scully emerged from behind the tree. "It's me."

"Ms. Scully," Teena politely nodded. "Did my son put you up for this?"

"No," Scully shook her head. "He knows that I'm here, but he didn't approve it."

"Why are you here, then?" Teena carefully observed her. She sounded less hostile than Scully expected her to be, but more sad and defeated.

"Emily wanted to meet you. She is your only granddaughter, and I couldn't deny her that opportunity. To both of you."

Teena gave her a doubtful look, then turned her gaze first to Emily and then to William.

"So you thought to achieve that by leaving your child unsupervised on my front door?"

"I was right here," Scully motioned towards the tree. "Within reach. I would never do anything to endanger him, and I am aware that this wasn't my brightest idea, but I realized it was the only way you would see him."

Teena nodded absentmindedly, glancing at the little boy again. She briefly wondered if her son looked like that when he was that age, before she even knew he existed. Then she pushed all thoughts of the past aside, and did what she assumed was expected of her.

"Would you like to come inside?"

"Yes, thank you," Scully was taken aback. She didn't expect a warm welcome, but indifferent hospitality seemed almost worse than an open animosity.

Teena went to the kitchen to prepare tea for her guests and they followed her in awkward silence. As the water began to boil, she motioned towards the table with chairs and Scully and Emily obediently sat down, being promptly served some stale cookies. They ate in silence, when William started to complain.

"His diaper," Emily said.

"Excuse me," Scully stood up. "Where can I change him?"

"Will the living room do?" Teena asked.

"Yeah, thank you," Scully said and Teena pointed her in the right direction, staying alone with Emily.

"So," she looked at the kid. "You somehow know what he needs?"

Emily lowered her head in shame and fear. Her parents warned her not to talk to other people about her connection with her brother, and she broke the promise she gave to them. Again.

"You should be quiet about that," Teena advised. "You don't want the wrong people finding out about your… gift."

Emily nodded, still looking down. She could hardly remember bad people and the horrors she'd been subjected to, but the sense of dreadful fear was deeply engraved into her soul.

Teena quietly observed her for a few moments. The child didn't look like Samantha at all, like she feared would be the case. This was a hundred percent Scully spawn and Teena was pleased with that. Samantha was dark, fierce and bossy. A fighter. She was a perfect example of indestructibility.

Yet, in the end, no one is indestructible.

Fox has always been the sensitive one. Introverted. Quiet. So unlike Samantha, but very much like a little Emily. Still, Emily was just a Scully, Teena reminded herself. A Scully all the way, even if she carried the name of a doomed Mulder family.

"Would you like to watch a television?" Teena asked, not having anything better to offer to a child. Emily nodded and Teena took her to the living room, where Scully was finishing with changing William. They found something for Emily to watch and Teena returned to the kitchen to wash the cups. They were still full of tea, which she simply tossed down the drain, not expecting anyone to actually drink it. It was all for appearances.

Scully joined her and helped clean the table in complete silence. She didn't bother asking if her help was needed, convinced that the old woman would refuse it. There wasn't much work to do, so they were finished fast, left with nothing else to do but face each other.

"How long do you plan on keeping this on?" Teena was the first to break the silence.

"What do you mean?" Scully was confused.

"The marriage," Teena explained. "Playing house. Children."

"This isn't a game!" Scully objected.

"Could you raise them alone then?" Teena suggested. "You are a smart, strong woman. You can have what you want, but my son didn't deserve to go through that with you."

"Your son adores them! It would kill him to lose them."

"Exactly. And the more this goes on, the harder it will be on him when it ends."

"Well… Mrs. Mulder, thank you for your hospitality, but I think it's time for us to leave now."

Scully turned to leave, but Teena grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Be honest to yourself, Ms. Scully. You lead a dangerous life and your children will always be a target."

"I can keep them safe."

"For how long? Until your last breath? What do you think will happen after that? If you really care about them, you should give them both up while there's still time."

"I would never do such a thing!"

"No? Even if it meant keeping them safe? Giving them a chance for a normal life?"

"Is that what you did? With Samantha?"

Mention on her daughter caused Teena to close her eyes, just for a second. It was a wound that never healed, but she learned to manage it, keep it in check and never fully re-visit it.

"No," her voice was distant, as if she wasn't talking to Scully at all. "No, that's something I _didn't_ do for her."

"You would've spent the rest of your life regretting it," Scully's voice was soft, but un-reaching. She could sympathize as much as she tried, but she didn't understand this pain, not really, and she never wanted to.

"And what do you think I'm doing now?"

"Mrs. Mulder…"

"I know. You don't think it could happen to you. No one ever does. Ms. Scully, you and my son are so dedicated to uncovering the truth, but that is a quest in vain. What would you do with it, even if you found it? Die for it? Or worse, live with it?"

Scully didn't know what to say. She didn't have an answer, but it seemed Teena wanted questions from her, rather than answers. She didn't have those either.

"If we don't fight them, they win," was all she came up with.

"They win either way," Teena was unimpressed.

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"No? Then start with your own life. You are living a lie, Ms. Scully. Your marriage was an arrangement, your children forced on you. And here you are, asking me to be a part of it, to pretend it was for real."

"Mrs. Mulder, I assure you…" Scully tried, but William's cry stopped her. They both turned towards the kitchen door, to see Emily standing there.

"He's afraid of this place," she said. "Can we go home?"

Then she remembered that she wasn't supposed to talk about her brother's needs and she lowered her head in shame. It was so hard to remember not to talk about something so natural to her.

"It's ok, Emily," Teena said softly. "You can go now. Your brother is a smart boy."

"Yes," Scully confirmed. "We are leaving."

She hurried to get the baby, expecting Emily to follow, but the girl stayed in place as if she was glued to the floor.

Teena looked around the room. She wanted to give something to the child, but nothing seemed worthy or appropriate. Her house felt empty, just like her heart. Finally, she took a crocheted doily from the top of the fridge, dusted it off with her hand and offered it to the child.

"My great-grandmother made this," she said. "At least I think it was her. You can have it."

"Thank you," Emily politely whispered, quickly pushing the doily into her pocket. An instinct told her to hide it from her mom, and Teena seemed pleased with that choice.

"You are a good girl, Emily. Try to remember, whatever happens, it isn't your fault."

"What's going to happen?" Emily asked fearfully.

Teena considered the question for a moment, then shook her head absentmindedly.

"Nothing," she said. "Go on now. Your mother is waiting for you."

Emily nodded and they went to the living room together. Politely and patiently, Teena walked them all to the front door.

"Come visit us whenever you want," Scully said, even though her heart was not in it.

Teena nodded, suddenly feeling weak and tired. She did her best to hide it. She had to hold on for just a little bit longer, just to make sure her guests were gone. Then she would be left alone again, the way she preferred.

It took longer than she expected. Loading two children and a stroller in a car wasn't a quick job, as efficient as Scully was at it. Teena stayed on the porch and carefully observed her every move.

"Ms. Scully!" she called when Scully was done with the kids and was about to enter the car herself. "If you came here to get my blessing… You have it."

She returned to the house before Scully had a chance to answer, locking the door behind her.

* * *

Mulder didn't ask questions. He pretty much ignored Scully and spent the evening playing with children, while she prepared dinner.

She didn't know what to tell him. His mother was hard to read and Scully felt like Mrs. Mulder cursed and blessed her at the same time. More than that, she felt like the old woman tried to warn her, but warn about what exactly?

That her children could be a target? She knew that. She also knew no one in the world was more qualified to protect them than Mulder and her. Whatever happened to Samantha was not going to happen again. They were prepared and willing to give their lives if it came to that.

But there was something else. Something that Mrs. Mulder pinpointed perfectly and accurately.

Scully was living a lie. She was lying to her children, to her mother, and to the rest of the world. To everybody except Mulder who was, in this instance, a partner in crime.

At one point it was a necessary lie, then it turned into a white lie, and now it grew to be a burden for her. This wasn't the legacy she wanted to leave to her children. They deserved to know the truth, even if it hurt. She owed them as much. She owed it to her father who raised her better than that.

"I think we should get a divorce," she said later, in the bed. Mulder didn't respond, didn't move. She thought he might have not heard her, and the part of her was relieved. The other part, however, dreaded having to repeat those words.

There was no need to repeat anything. Mulder heard every word, loud and clear. He just needed a second to process it, to find his voice again. The moment ago, he was holding a grudge against Scully for taking the children to meet his mother, but in an instant his mood switched to beating himself up for allowing this to happen, for ignoring her for long enough for this awful ideas to start forming in her head.

"Is that what you really want?" he finally managed to ask, proud of himself for not breaking into tears. This wasn't a conversation he ever wanted to have.

Scully almost said yes. She almost fell into her usual pattern of saying what she thought was right and appropriate, instead of what she really felt.

But what did she really feel?

And what did she really want?

"No," she said. "But I think it's the right thing to do."

She expected him to protest, to argue, to confront her, get mad or even agree with her and walk out of her life without looking back, with his feet crushing the pieces of her broken heart.

He did none of those things. He seemed to have been just as tired as she was.

"My mom got into your head, didn't she?" he asked with a sigh.

"This isn't about her. It's about us. Our marriage…"

"Scully, stop! Don't tell me it is all a lie! I know we did it out of necessity, but when I said _I do_ I meant it. I meant all of it. It's always been real for me. If you want to divorce me, I can't stop you, but don't expect me to agree with you."

"Mulder, you know it isn't true," Scully whispered, chocking in tears.

He turned to look at her, and gently removed a strand of hair from her face. "It is. It was the truth, even back then. We just didn't know it yet."

"Mulder…" her tears fell and she let them. She felt naked, exposed to the core and it frightened her. There, in his eyes, was all the truth she needed to see, but she didn't know how to handle it. She didn't know if she was ready, or if she would ever be. Maybe that's what Mrs. Mulder felt for her grandchildren, a love so deep that you can't allow yourself to accept it for the fear of losing it.

But the lights were off and Mulder's eyes were hidden in the dark. She didn't have to face it, whatever was in there, not yet at least.

"My mom left my dad," he said. "She sent me to England. She broke what was left of my family, but it didn't fix anything. It was all in vain. Neither of them remarried. I came back, straight into the life she tried to shield me from. I imagine she wasn't thrilled when you introduced her to my children, was she?"

"No," Scully admitted.

"Then don't let me repeat her mistakes," he demanded. "Stay with me."

"I don't know how."

"Then tell me you don't love me, Dana," he insisted. The use of her first name told her he wouldn't let her get away without the answer. But she couldn't. She wouldn't.

"I can't," she said.

"Then tell me you love me," he suggested, softer this time. He was losing his guts now. The things he asked her scared the hell out of him. He was losing his mind. But it didn't matter. He could lose everything but her, her and the kids.

"I can't," her answer stayed the same.

He buried his head in her hair, his lips softly touching her ear as he asked: "Why not?"

"I'm afraid," she gasped, as his lips started to kiss her neck, his hands pulling her closer, turning her towards him. "I'm afraid to love you."

He didn't ask anything further, his lips were too busy searching for hers. She let him climb on her body, or on top of the world as it felt to him.

She was so warm, so willing, and her tears tasted like sunflower seeds. Mulder was soon drunk with passion and desire, but not intoxicated enough not to notice her body stiffening as soon as one of his hands tried to sneak underneath her pajama top.

He didn't stop, though, he just changed the tactic. He grabbed her hands and stretched them above her head, keeping them pinned with his. He didn't do it to keep her in place, but to prevent himself from tearing her clothes off, for which she clearly wasn't ready.

To his surprise and delight, she didn't mind being held down, she didn't mind opening her legs to have his groin pressed to hers, as he moved himself up and covered her whole. He couldn't kiss her in this position, she was too short, but he could listen to her moans and feel her move with him as he trusted, harder and faster with each shove.

The thought of the bedroom doors being left unlocked tried to cross their minds, but they were both too busy to register it. No one intruded anyway. Emily didn't walk in on them. William didn't start crying. It was just them, consuming their marriage for the first time. Well, almost. Not exactly the way they were supposed to or wanted to, and with too many clothes between them, but it left them both spent and satisfied. It wasn't just a step forward, but a huge leap.

Mulder tried to get off her, but Scully pulled him back. He was heavy and sweaty and it was hard for her to breathe, but she needed to feel his weight, for just a bit longer.

As his breathing slowed down, Mulder found the strength to slide a bit down, searching for her face.

"Tell me that this didn't count," he asked her.

"I can't," she answered.

"Then tell me that it did."

"It did," she kissed him. "It does," kissed him again. "I'm yours."

"I don't need to fuck you to prove that I love you," he said into her ear. His words made her giggle. Or maybe it was his breath. He couldn't tell.

"No, you don't," she agreed. "But you will. Soon."

"Take your time. I'm going to need months to recover from this, anyway."

"You're going to have to hurry, Mulder," she giggled. "I don't think I can wait that long."

"I'll see what I can do," he chuckled, efficiently preventing her from responding with his lips and tongue.

It took a few minutes of making out before he realized he should probably change his underwear.

"Me too," Scully chuckled.

They quickly changed and returned to bed and each other's arms. For the first time since they started sharing a bed, Scully's feet weren't cold anymore.

* * *

Teena Mulder wasn't having any sleep either. She paced through her empty house, destroying the photographs, personal letters, official papers… Anything remotely personal. Anything that wasn't meant for her son to find, or for anybody else. Some truths were better burned, some questions better left unanswered. He had another woman to take care of him now, a little but fierce woman that refused to be intimidated by anybody or anything. Maybe that woman would know better. Maybe he didn't need his old mother anymore.

It was for the best, she was sure of it.

It was much easier to prepare everything than she expected it to be. Nothing ever came easy to her. Maybe her luck was finally turning. Maybe this one last thing she could do perfectly, without screwing up. For once in her life, once and for all.

She couldn't smell the gas, but she assumed it was still there. It probably wasn't needed, anyway, but this time she wasn't taking any chances.

She felt no fear, no regret. Only peace. After the life-time of suffering, it was time to go home and maybe find her again, on the other side… Samantha… Her daughter.

She took times swallowing pills, one by one. She noticed her hands were shaking, but not enough to prevent her from using the final tool. The razor.

Her path to freedom was finally going to begin.

* * *

"Thank you," Mulder heard Scully say while he was dozing off.

"For what?" he mumbled.

"For saying no," she clarified. "To my ill thought request."

"Thank you for listening," he said. Or at least he meant to say it. He wasn't sure, he was already fast asleep. And so was she.

* * *

 **Voting time! Do you want to follow the canon or change it? Will Mulder's mom kill herself? Please vote:**

 **a) Yes, she will commit suicide.**

 **b) She will try, but fail.**

 **c) No, she will change her mind.**


	24. Chapter 24

"Mommy, please wake up," Emily's whisper woke Mulder. He raised his head and looked at her over Scully's sleeping body.

"What is it, Starbuck?"

"Mommy, wake up!" she said louder, but still whispering, as if there was someone else in the room who she didn't want to awake.

"What's wrong?" Mulder asked again, but Emily ignored him. She started to shake Scully's shoulder, gently, but urgently at the same time.

"Umm…" Scully finally reacted, not ready to open her eyes just yet. "What's going on?"

"Mommy, mommy, get up, mommy," Emily was getting more and more upset. "We need to go back to grandma, mommy, please!"

"It's late," Scully reasoned. "We can't go now. Go back to sleep."

"No, mommy! Grandma! We need to go!"

"Grandma Teena?" Mulder asked. "My mom?"

Emily looked at him and nodded. The terrifying expression in her eyes gave him chills. She opened her mouth to say something, but then just collapsed on the floor, crying.

"No, no, no…" she started to chant. "No!"

"Emily!" Scully was finally wide awake, though still confused. She quickly slid from the bed to the floor, trying to pick up the girl and console her. It sounded like a really bad nightmare to her, nothing more, but Mulder's inner alarm got activated.

"She knows something," he sensed, reaching for the phone on the nightstand.

"Knows what?" Scully gave him a skeptical look. "Who are you calling?"

"My mom," Mulder answered. He tried to hold his breath until it started to ring, hoping his mother wouldn't be too alarmed when he woke her up from her sleep. The woman was very protective of her sleeping habits.

But she didn't pick up. It didn't even ring.

"Emily," he joined Scully and their daughter on the floor. His hand slid underneath Emily's chin and gently lifted it, looking for her eyes. "Is something wrong with grandma?" he asked slowly, but firmly.

Emily sniffed and nodded, snuggling into Scully's arms for comfort.

"Do you know what happened to her?" Mulder asked. Emily shook her head no.

He jumped back to his feet, grabbed the first clothes he found and hectically started putting them on.

"Mulder…" Scully watched him, her voice and gaze full of questions.

"The phone is disconnected," he explained. "It may be nothing, but I have to go check on her. I'll call you."

In as instant, he was out of the door. Scully didn't want to admit, but she felt uneasy. Her mind told her that there was nothing to worry about. Teena was a strange woman, at least in a child's eyes, and it wasn't unlikely that meeting her would cause nightmares for a sensitive and socially anxious kid like Emily. It was also reasonably possible that the old woman felt tired after unwanted visit and turned off her phone so that she wouldn't be disturbed during the night.

Scully was certain Mulder would be back in her bed soon, laughing about the false alarm Emily had caused.

But that uneasy feeling refused to leave her, even after Emily finally cried herself to sleep in her arms.

Mulder finally called, from the hospital. He said they were trying to stabilize his mother, and that he would call later when he knows more.

He told her not to come. To stay with the children. Unless her mother could… No, he couldn't ask her to wake her… Could he? Would she mind? No, the kids… Stay with them… His mother… His problem…

He stopped talking when he realized he started to repeat himself.

"She's my family too," Scully told him. He tried to argue that, but she wouldn't let him.

Luckily, Emily didn't wake up again. William did, though, but Scully was able to calm him down before her mother arrived. As soon as Maggie walked through her door, she was ready to exit the same way. In less than a minute, she was already starting her car.

She didn't know what happened, but feared it somehow had something to do with her visit that afternoon. Did she upset her so much that her mother in law had a stroke or heart attack? Did someone follow her and broke into Teena's house as a message to Mulder and her? Was someone after the kids? Or was it just a coincidence? Would it have happened anyway, and what kind of doctor was Scully to miss the signs?

The pathologist. That kind. The one that can help only after you die…

As much as Scully knew it wasn't logical or true and that she didn't really do anything wrong, the guilt stuck to her during the whole ride.

She found Mulder in the waiting room, with his head in his hands. Before she could get his attention, he raised his head and looked at her, as if he sensed her arrival.

"Is Emily ok?" was his first question.

"She's fine," Scully assured him. "She fell asleep again."

"And William?"

"He's sleeping too. My mom is with them. Mulder, what happened? How is she?"

"She isn't talking," he buried his head in his hands again.

"What happened?" Scully asked again, taking a seat next to him.

"I…" Mulder hesitated. "It looks like a suicide, but she wouldn't… It was so staged, so fake. The pills, the gas, the razor… They were trying too hard."

"Who was? And why?"

"I don't know. Doggett is there now, I asked her to investigate. I would do it myself but I couldn't leave mom alone."

"You sent Monica to investigate a suicide?"

"I've told you, Scully, it didn't look like a real suicide. She wouldn't do it. She's my mother. I know her. She wouldn't do it."

"We never think anybody would…" Scully sighed, taking his hand for a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "I'll talk to her doctors."

There wasn't anything that she could do that other doctors haven't already done, she was sure of it. But she was never able to sit still and wait. She had to do something, anything, as useless as it may be.

Half an hour later, she was sitting next to Teena's bed, holding her chart and her complete medical history. Teena gave her permission to look into it all, feeling no fight left in herself after her one attempt to go with dignity miserably failed. She nodded her agreement to everything that was asked of her, but she didn't say a word.

"This isn't the answer," Scully said sadly. In her heart, she could understand why Mrs. Mulder did what she did and couldn't blame her for it. Her disease was untreatable. The progress of it wasn't going to be pretty. There was no hope she or anybody could offer her. Yet, she had to offer _something_. "We'll find you a great nursing home, with the best care available. We'll bring children for a visit as often as we can. You are not alone."

Mrs. Mulder didn't answer. She gave no indication of listening. She just stared at the wall.

Scully sighed and sat on the bed, taking her hand. Teena didn't accept it. She didn't refuse it either. She remained utterly unresponsive.

"You still have some time left," Scully said warmly. "Some good time. We'll make the most of it. Mulder… Fox loves you very much. And I… I may not be the kind of a woman you wanted for him and I'm far from perfect, but I care about him. I'd die for him, no questions asked. This… marriage thing, it was forced on us. But we are making it work. For the children, but also for us… It's not the worst thing that happened to me… I guess I'm trying to say… I want to be with him and I... I wouldn't change a thing."

Damn tears started to threaten to overpower her, but Mrs. Mulder wasn't touched. At least she didn't show it. Anything.

"Ok," Scully sniffed. "Get some rest. I'll talk to you later."

She wanted to find a bathroom and have a quick cry in privacy, or at least wash her face with cold water to retrieve some control over her emotions. But she bumped into Mulder instead.

"What happened?" he was instantly alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Scully quickly reassured him. "She's fine. I mean… She's the same. I tried to talk to her, but she isn't responding to anything. I think we should give her more time, she'll come around."

He nodded, intensely looking at her. "What about you? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," her voice came out weak. The tears started to win and she let them fall. She didn't want to be the kind of woman Teena Mulder was, who would rather die than show any weakness, even to the loved one.

"Scully," Mulder's voice was barely above whisper, the kind of tone that always melted her resolve.

"It's just," she sniffed. "I was just trying to tell her, but I didn't know how… Mulder, why am I so bad at this?"

"Tell her what?"

"That I love you," she chuckled through tears, met with such a perfect smile from him that she just had to repeat it. "I love you."

"As a friend?" he couldn't resist a little teasing.

"As a…" she was searching for words. Her brain felt empty at that moment, and her heart, though full and bursting with joy, didn't care about words. "As in… I'm in love with you."

Mulder cupped her face with his hands. He felt the urge to kiss her, but it would mean breaking her gaze and he didn't want to do that. He could drown in her eyes, so blue and wet, so incredibly deep…

"No wonder my mother didn't know what to say," he resorted to jokes again. "I'm left speechless too."

"Say it back, Mulder," she suggested, almost pleaded, letting him see more neediness than she wanted to admit even to herself. In an instant she became overcame with panic and the need to run away and take it back, take it all back, forever. But he wouldn't let her. Not now, not ever.

"You know I love you, Scully," he said seriously, pressing his forehead onto hers. It grounded her, calmed her down, just as he knew it would. "You know I do."

"Mulder!" a familiar voice interrupted them. "Dana! How is she?"

"Hello, Monica," Scully greeted. "She's out of the woods for now, but isn't doing great. We learned that she has a terminal disease and our guess is that she wanted to go on her own terms. She isn't speaking though, so we don't know much more than that."

"Oh my god," Monica reached to both of them, placing her hands on their arms. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"Just…" Mulder looked at the floor. "Tell Skinner I won't be coming to work today."

"Of course. Take all the time you need. Mulder… I didn't find anything. No signs of a break-in or struggle. She was alone in the house."

"I know," Mulder nodded. "I apologize for waking you. I just didn't want to believe it…"

"I understand," Monica assured him. "You can always call me when you need it. I'm your partner. You know that."

"I know."

Scully felt a pang of jealousy. It was hard to accept that another woman was now calling herself Mulder's partner. It used to be her role, the role she was proud of, despite all of the despise from the rest of the Hover Building.

At least Monica was married. Happily, it seemed. Alas, not a threat. She was a good friend as well, and Scully could find no reason to doubt her. In a way, it felt like they were a team, but a team of three now, instead of two.

Monica offered to stay with Mulder so Scully went home to be with the children. She was craving her children's presence, but just as much wanted to tell her mother that she loved her.

You never know how much time you have left with your loved ones. It always feels like it'll last forever, so it's way too easy to take them for granted.

When Scully arrived, they were all sleeping. She went first to the children's room, kissed each of them and made sure they were warm enough, then proceeded to the living room where Maggie was sleeping on the couch.

She didn't want to wake her, but Maggie was too worried for a deep sleep. Her head raised with a question mark, and her body slowly followed.

"How is she?" she asked.

"She's stable," Scully sighed, sitting on the couch next to her. "For now. But she is very sick and she won't even talk to us."

"Is she going to be all right?"

"No," Scully shook her head. She wanted to say more, but she suddenly felt too tired to explain.

"Oh, honey," Maggie pulled her into an embrace. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Scully whispered.

"For what?" Maggie was surprised.

"For everything I've done wrong… For all the times I wasn't honest with you… For disappointing you… For Melissa… And…"

"Oh, Dana," Maggie's eyes filled with tears. "Melissa's death wasn't your fault. As for everything else, I may not always agree with you, but I've always been proud of you."

"Always?"

"Always."

"Even when I show up on you door barefoot, carrying my shoes in my hand?"

"Of course."

"Even when I get terminal cancer and don't tell you anything about it until I end up in hospital?"

"Don't ever do that again."

"Even when I marry my partner, make a baby with him and let myself fall hopelessly in love with him?"

"Are you sure it happened in that order?"

"I'm not a virgin, mom."

"You are not sixteen either, so I figured as much."

"Then why do I feel like one?"

"Hm… Maybe you found something special… Something that only happens once in a lifetime. Just like losing your virginity."

"That sounds like something Missy would say," Scully chuckled.

"Missy…" Maggie smiled with melancholy. "Your sister was hard to understand…"

"Maybe we just never tried hard enough."

"Maybe."

"I miss her, mom."

"I miss her too, Dana. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about her. There never will be."

"I love you," Scully finally said. It felt so natural, came so easily.

"I love you too, honey," Maggie pulled her closer. "You sound exhausted, why don't you go back to sleep while the children are still sleeping."

"Mmmm…. If you tuck me in? Sing to me?"

Maggie responded with a hearty laugh. She practically dragged her daughter to the bed and covered her with blankets. There was no need to sing, since she was asleep almost at the same moment her head touched the pillow.

A mother's job never ends, Maggie thought contently. It was the only job she ever wanted.

There was another thing this mother had to do, another child to check on. Instead of going back home, Maggie made some salad and a sandwich and stopped by the hospital.

"You shouldn't have," Fox told her, accepting the lunch box.

"You need to eat," Maggie insisted. She wasn't kidding. She watched him and made sure he ate the whole thing.

After that, she asked to see his mother.

Teena was still pretending to be a vegetable. It wasn't on purpose or out of spite. She simply had nothing to say, nothing to live for, nothing to give. It wasn't different than the day before, or the day before that… Only this time, everybody else knew all about it and refused to leave her alone.

"I don't mind if you don't want to talk," Mrs. Scully told her. "But I hope you don't mind listening… Dana told me you met our grandchildren yesterday. Aren't they precious?"

There was no reaction from Teena, but Maggie kept talking.

"I've lost a daughter too. Her name was Melissa. She was a grown up, but she was still my baby. Nothing prepares you for that kind of pain… I won't pretend to understand what you went through, but I know what it's like to lose a child. I know it never heals. There are days when I want to go to bed and never get up again. But I have other children who need me, and so do you… Our children… They found each other and this beautiful little girl… Sweet Emily. It was hard for me too, to accept her at first. But when I met her, it felt like a part of Melissa came back to me, back to life... Maybe she can be a comfort to you too, if you give her a chance… Her whole life has been filled with pain, and yet she is full of joy and light. We can all learn from that."

There was no response from Teena. She understood everything, but nothing could make her talk. The only communication she bothered to offer was occasional nod. Talking required too much effort and people seemed to drain the last strength she had left.

The silence went on for a few days, until Scully brought Emily to see her grandmother. Mulder was not thrilled about exposing a child to that kind of environment, and while two of them silently argued, Emily approached the bed and observed the surroundings with curiosity. IV set, hospital smell, sterile environment, it was all very familiar to her. She was the first person, of all who approached Teena since her suicide attempt, that didn't ask questions, didn't offer encouragement, didn't expect anything from her…

It didn't go unnoticed. It wasn't unappreciated. The connection was subtle, but instantaneous.

The old woman and the young child understood each other perfectly.

Without a word, Emily climbed on the bed and snuggled next to her grandmother.

"Emily! You can't go there!" Scully tried to stop her, but Mulder grabbed her arm to prevent her.

He saw something. He saw a spark in his mother's eyes, a delicate and hardly noticeable one, but it was there. It was barely strong enough for two words, but those words finally came.

"Let her," was all Teena said, as she wrapped her arm around Emily.

It was enough.

* * *

 **Okay, it's late and I can't think of a voting question, so I'm open for suggestions. What do you want to explore in the next chapter? Who do you want it to be about?**


	25. Chapter 25

It took Scully much longer to find a new job than she had planned. Her requirements were specific, but not unreasonable, and she had a few good options opening up for her.

However, Emily wasn't ready. Her health was fine now, but her state of mind was still fragile. All attempts to introduce her to a kindergarten failed miserably. A few nannies that Scully tried to hire also didn't manage to win Emily's trust.

She wanted her parents, her hamster and sometimes her brother. In that order. Grandma Maggie was acceptable, as long as Emily didn't have to be alone with her. She trusted Lone Gunmen, but Scully wasn't keen on letting them babysit often. She considered them good friends and allies, and they loved Emily, but they tended to freak out about every little thing and call her every half an hour asking questions or for advice.

Then there was grandma Teena, who finally accepted the little girl, and the feeling was instantly mutual. Emily had no objections to spending time with her, yet nobody understood why. They shared some private world of silence that other people weren't invited into.

Teena would've been a perfect babysitter, if she wasn't terminally ill.

There was someone else Emily trusted, a boy who managed to win her heart and make her laugh. She loved him as if he was her older brother, smart, protective, more experienced in normal, regular life even though trauma certainly wasn't a stranger to him either. And most importantly, he was still a kid, but a kid who didn't think she was weird, didn't make fun of her or avoid her like a plague.

He also happened to be Mulder's partner's stepson. Luke Doggett.

"I'm not sure about this," Scully was worried when they left children with Monica for the first time.

"William is a big boy now," Mulder assured her, focused on the road. He was driving her to a surprise date, which made him nervous enough without worrying about the kids too. It was their first date since William was born or, more precisely, since before William was born, or, well, fine, since ever.

"I'm more worried about Emily," Scully said.

"Then call her," Mulder suggested, offering his cellphone. He pressed a speed-dial before Scully had a chance to refuse.

"What's up, partner?" Monica answered cheerfully through the speaker.

"My wife is worried about the kids," Mulder said playfully. "Would you mind assuring her they are still alive?"

"Hi Monica," Scully took over. "Is everything alright? If you need us to come back…"

"Don't be silly," Monica chuckled. "They are fine. William is happily chewing on his foot, and Emily and Luke are having a serious discussion about hamster's anatomy."

"Can we talk to Emily?" Mulder asked, knowing Scully was dying to but was too proud to admit.

"Just a sec," Monica replied. They heard footsteps and a few moments later a shy "Hello."

"Hi Starbuck, it's mom and dad," Mulder informed her.

"Are you having fun, sweetie?" Scully inquired.

"Aha…" Emily said in a tone of voice that was hard to decode. It didn't help to ease Scully's anxiety.

"Is everything ok?"

"I don't know," Emily responded.

"What's the problem, Starbuck?" Mulder asked.

"Do you want us to come pick you up?" Scully offered.

"No," Emily quickly answered. "I want to play with Luke! For a long, LONG time."

"Ok, honey," Mulder chuckled. "We'll try to take our time."

"Ok… Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can Luke be my best friend?"

"Sure. Does he want to be your best friend?" Mulder asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want to be his best friend?" Scully asked.

"Yes."

"Sounds to me like you are already best friends."

"Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"Mommy?" Emily had one more question. "Can Luke have a hamster, too?"

"I don't know. He has to ask his parents."

"Oh… Ok. Mommy?"

"What?"

"Luke has a stepmom."

"I know, honey."

"Can I have a stepmom, too?"

"No," Scully said quickly.

"Weeell…" Mulder feigned hesitancy.

"No," Scully repeated so firmly that Emily didn't dare to protest.

"Can I go play now?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"Go, have fun!" Mulder told her. "We love you."

"I love you too."

Mulder hanged up with a chuckle, but Scully wasn't amused.

"I can't believe she asked for a step-mother," she remarked in annoyance.

"She doesn't know what it means," Mulder tried to comfort her.

"But I do," Scully sighed.

"Hey, you know no other woman would put up with me, don't you?"

"Well, when you put it that way…" she smiled shyly, remembering that she was on a date. With Mulder. Outside of her apartment. It really was a special occasion, but as much as she was looking forward to a nice, quiet dinner, it was also making her nervous.

She wasn't used to dating anymore. She wasn't used to anything romantic. Mulder and her were living together, raising children and loving each other, but as far as the romance went, they haven't advanced much. Their attempts in that direction were few and short, and never complete.

They still haven't…

And it was only her fault.

Sure, there were many stumbling blocks, like parenting and Teena's illness, but the biggest obstacle was Scully's inability to fully relax in Mulder's arms.

He was willing to wait, but waiting wasn't solving anything. It was only making her more nervous and diminishing her confidence in herself and her basic abilities to share, to commit, to satisfy, to belong…

She wasn't enough. Even if Mulder did everything he could to convince her otherwise, in her own eyes she just wasn't enough of a woman for him…

Lost in thoughts, she didn't pay attention to where they were going, until Mulder pulled up on the FBI parking lot.

"I just have to pick something up," he answered to her raised eyebrow. "Wait here."

He left before she had a chance to complain. So work came before her to him? Even on their first romantic date? What was so important in that damn basement that he had to stop by on their way to the restaurant?

Mulder wasn't coming back for a while, and when he finally did it was only to get her to come with him and help him find… Whatever he was looking for. She didn't ask, she was too pissed about it.

She walked quickly in front of him, determined to grab the first file she could find and throw it in his face, then turn around, get back to her children and forget all about this stupid attempt to spend some quality time alone with her damn, workaholic husband.

But when she opened the office door, there were candles.

The light was off, except for the candles on the desk, neatly arranged alongside two coffee cups, tortillas, and a bouquet of her favorite flowers. There was a soft music coming from somewhere in the back.

"What is this?" she asked when the initial surprise started to wear off.

"Monica helped me set it up," Mulder said shyly, almost apologetically. "She insisted I should do something special…"

He took Scully's hand and led her inside, closing the door behind them.

"Happy anniversary, Scully," he said softly.

"But it's not our…" Scully was confused.

"Yes, it is," he insisted. "Not the wedding, but… The day that we met. And this is the place where we met. Even," he chuckled, gesturing towards tortillas. "Even the first meal we had together. It's not much and I'm still taking you to the proper dinner, but I, um, I wanted to take you here first."

It left her speechless. Completely speechless. She looked at him, at the desk, back at him, and her eyes filled with tears.

"Say something," Mulder pleaded. Her hand was still in his and she could feel him starting to sweat. She squeezed him, reassuringly, and smiled.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted, softly, with a shaky voice. "I can't believe you did this."

She turned, looking for the source of the music. It was coming from the back of the office, the area that Mulder used to call hers. She took a few steps and started to giggle.

Mulder followed her gaze. She was looking at the black couch.

"Yeah, I brought it here," he explained. "There was not enough room at your place and I wasn't ready to get rid of it, so… Yeah…"

"How convenient," Scully chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

It was her turn to take him by the hand and lead him. She stopped in front of the couch and turned to him, letting herself get lost in his eyes.

"I mean," she said softly, carefully, trying not to break the magic in the air. "It's time for you to meet me again… For a… different… first time."

She slowly took off her coat and let it fall on the floor.

"This isn't why I brought you here," Mulder weakly protested. "Or, um, my couch."

"The couch can take it," Scully said confidently. She took off her shoes and started unbuttoning her blouse.

"You aren't ready," Mulder said, but he didn't try to stop her. He just watched her, momentarily paralyzed.

"Are you?" she asked, dropping her blouse and moving on to the skirt.

"Not if you aren't," he answered, watching her getting naked in the dim light of candles that seemed so far away. The music stopped, along with the time and the whole world, everything stopped except for this woman that just dropped all of her armor in front of him, kissed him in the neck and whispered in his ear: "What if I am?"

He couldn't help it anymore. His hands started to slide down her soft skin, his breathing quickened and his heart begun to burn. Everything in him was in her control now.

"Then," he whispered back. "We can stop anytime..."

"I know," she confirmed, determined not to stop.

Scully was a rebel, she has always been one. But unlike Mulder, she didn't do it in public, in front of people's faces. She did it when no one could see and when she was sure no one would find out. She was good at it and rarely got caught, if ever. From the first cigarette she smoked behind her parents' backs, to undressing her husband, while naked herself, in the FBI office that was once hers and now belonged to her new friend… She came a long way.

Working with Mulder was a perfect cover. She could break rules without getting attention to herself, because everybody always blamed Mulder. Even after all these years, she was still seen as a reasonable, rational one. She was still a "good girl", but nonetheless she was a woman behind a dissident who made a difference, a woman capable of always coming up with enough evidence to support her rebel, back him up, keep him going, and keep breaking rules in the safety of his shadow.

No one would ever know she was in this office, engaging in inappropriate activities with her husband. Ok, she might one day confess to Monica, who was a close friend at this point, but no one else would ever know, and it made her excited. It was a turn-on that she desperately needed.

Mulder was playing along. He could feel her need, her desire, he knew her better than anybody and responded in a way that even she wasn't aware that she needed.

Still, he had to be sure. As painful as it was, he forced himself to release her and take a few steps back. She looked at him confused, and a bit hurt.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, even though at this point he knew it was inevitable, he knew nothing could no longer come between them, nothing at all. It was infinitely better to check too many times, than once too little…

"I'm ready," she confirmed, not just with her words, but with her soul, her body language, her complete being.

"What about… your body?" he asked awkwardly.

"Screw my body," she said impatiently. She didn't want to talk, she wanted to feel. They've talked about it too much, or maybe not enough, but at this point it didn't make a difference.

"Don't mind if I do," he chuckled, pulling her close again, never to let go again.

Her body did react with fear, but Mulder's body had a plan. Every time he felt her starting to stiff he would change something, move to another part of her body and kiss it, stroke it, pinch it, or gently slap it, making sure to change the spot and the kind of action as often and as unexpectedly as he could, until he bypassed all the defense mechanisms of her mind and had her completely open and compliant.

He won against her demons, maybe not the whole war, but the huge battle. He had her underneath him, naked on his couch, so soft and eager and ready, gasping when reached for union, but without any sign of resistance at all…

He stopped, letting her adjust. There was no rush, they had all the time in the world. He couldn't look her in the eyes now since she was so short for him, so he felt a need to talk to her, to make sure she was ok.

"Hi honey, I'm home," was all he could come up with.

"Come in, Mulder," she accepted the game. "Don't just stand at the entrance."

"How far should I go?"

"Down the hall… All the way…"

"So warm… And comfy… But I think you have a humidity problem."

"That's because it's been closed for years…"

"I think… I'm gonna make a mess in here…"

"That's ok… Just try not to break anything."

"Never…" he assured her.

Words were their safe place. Playful discussion turned them on, helped them relax, but ultimately led them to a place where they forgot how to talk. They forgot where or why they were and they just were. Their bodies took over and led them to a state of mind beyond words, beyond anything either of them could ever hope to achieve alone.

Together.

As one.

At last.

* * *

 **Those of you who'd been asking me for this since the beginning, you're welcome :) I hope it was worth the wait, or at least that it wasn't** **disappointing** **...**

 **As for the vote, what do you want to do about Samantha's story?**

 **a) Don't resolve it, there's no room for her in this story. Mulder should never find out what happened to her.**

 **b) Mulder should find her alive. Happy ending rules!**

 **c) Mulder should find out she's dead. Keep the canon!**


	26. Chapter 26

Still lying underneath Mulder, Scully suddenly started to laugh.

"What is it?" he asked her, confused and dazed. He started to shift in an attempt to change their position, trying to get them both lying on their sides, facing each other.

The couch was kind of too small for that, but Mulder saw it as a plus. It was a perfect excuse to hold her close, as close as their bodies allowed without actually merging into each other.

They've already done the merging thing, finally and after all.

"What?" he asked again when she failed to stop laughing.

"I'm just…" her whole body adorably giggled in his arms. "…imagining what it would be like… if Skinner… walked in right now."

Mulder chuckled, not because he found the thought of Skinner walking in on them funny (he didn't), but because Scully's unusual behavior amused him.

However, when she didn't stop, he started to get worried. Her laugh was getting louder, violent even, and it soon turned into desperate, hysterical sobs.

Mulder didn't know what to do, so he just held her, whispering into her hair that everything was alright.

He saw her cry hard before, he saw her falling apart, but never like this. This somehow felt deeper, more intense than anything they went through before. He felt his own body absorb her sobs, he felt her pain deep in his bones, mixing with his own wounds, and rode it all with her.

No matter how bad it got, he wouldn't back away.

Not now. Not ever.

Finally, after a small eternity, the tears faded. But instead of relaxing into his embrace, Scully pushed him away and stood in a rage. Like a wild animal trapped in a small cage, she lost control and started to throw everything in her sight. The files, the reports, the books and other inventory gloriously flew in the air for a moment, to unceremoniously fall on the floor immediately afterwards. Scully then took a small wooden chair and threw it on the wall, before Mulder managed to catch up with her and stop her.

Her actions took him by surprise, but his reflexes were quick and he had her immobilized on the floor before she had a chance to do any significant damage.

"Stop, just stop," he begged her, as she kicked and screamed under him. "You're going to hurt yourself. Stop!"

"No!" she screamed, oblivious to his presence. "No! Let me go! Mulder, help me! Muldeeer!"

"I'm here, Scully, I'm here. Look at me! Scully? It's me."

Mulder left a huge sigh of relief when he finally got her to focus and come back to him.

"Mulder?" she touched his cheek carefully, as if making sure it was really him. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he whispered. He wrapped her in a blanket and helped her get up and return to the couch, where she curled in a ball, confused and afraid.

"What's happening to me?" she asked in the most helpless voice he ever heard from her.

"I don't know," he admitted, quickly resuming assuring her that she was going to be alright. "We might have triggered something, something you buried because it was too painful to deal with at the time. But you are stronger now. It's two of us now. Maybe we are just ready to handle it."

She raised her eyebrow, looking at him as if he'd finally lost his mind, but he wasn't fooled by that look. Deep in her eyes, he could see a scared little girl, trusting every word that came from his mouth and pleading to him to protect her. _With my own life_ , his eyes silently replied.

"Do you remember anything?" he asked carefully, not wanting to push her too hard.

Scully thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I… I feel like I do, but I don't. As if it's just below the surface… Mulder, I don't dare to remember."

He nodded and reached to wipe the sweat from her face. He noticed it was a cold sweat, so he wrapped the blanket tighter around her and pulled her into an embrace. She started to shake now, as violently and as inevitably as an autumn leaf on a heavy wind.

"I'm sorry," she repeated miserably.

"Don't be," Mulder assured her with a kiss on the hair. "Just let it out, whatever it is… Don't hold it in anymore… It's ok…"

"It's not because of…"

"I know."

"You didn't deserve this…"

"Scully, this is what I want."

"You want to witness me falling apart after our first time?"

"I don't want you to fall apart… But if you do, I want to be there for you. I want to be your secure place, your rock, where you can fall apart safely if you need to, and I want to help pick up the pieces to rebuild you again. I want to share your pain as much as your joy, Scully. I want everything."

She raised her head and looked into his eyes. What she saw there not only confirmed every word he just said, but promised so much more, way more than the words had the power to express.

"I want to be the same for you," she whispered.

"You are, Scully," he assured her. "You know that."

His words made her smile. He started to think she was getting out of it, but then her face distorted and her eyes filled with panic.

"I can't breathe!" she gasped, her body suddenly fighting for breath.

Without thinking, instinctively, Mulder pressed his mouth onto hers, and started to breathe into her. It was silly and awkward and inappropriate and… it worked.

Scully grabbed his head and sucked the life out of him, until her lungs were as full of him as her womb. It successfully calmed her anxiety, and their actions turned into a deep kiss, before they clumsily separated.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Scully shyly admitted.

"I never thought I'd live to hear you say that," Mulder responded contently. They may have gone crazy, but they were crazy together and that was all that mattered. This definitely wasn't the way Mulder anticipated the evening going, but in a way it was better than he could hope. Despite the intense and bizarre post-coital experience, he felt calm and satisfied. Scully was right behind him, catching up slowly, but definitely catching up. The shaking finally stopped and her body went limp against him.

"I'm tired," she said, already dozing off.

"Sleep then," he whispered, stroking her hair. "Dinner can wait."

She stirred once more, mumbling: "…the strength of your beliefs…" and the deep, healing sleep overtook her.

Mulder thought about her last words for a while. Those sounded very familiar, but he didn't know where to place them. It felt like he heard them before, but in another life, another time. Everything before they entered his office earlier today felt like it happened lifetime ago. He was almost certain that when they finally leave and go home, they will find adult kids there, maybe with the spouses and the children of their own…

Visualizing Emily and William as grown-ups entertained him for a while. Then he realized that the whole picture included him and Scully as old and wrinkled people. Growing old wasn't an attractive prospect in itself, but growing old _with Scully_ sounded like the dream come true. He would push her wheelchair once, with his own wheelchair.

In sickness and in health. He meant it when he promised it, even though their marriage was supposed to be fake. Marrying Scully was easy, since in lots of ways it felt like they'd been married all along. Even if it wasn't true in any widely understood meaning of the term, she was always his significant other.

And now, finally, she was his and he was hers in all of the interpretations. It took them a long time to get there, where they had finally agreed they were heading on the day William was born. Mulder remembered that day as the most magical thing he ever witnessed, being so full of love and awe that he couldn't contain it in himself anymore, blurting out the most private feelings and desires in the too public and inappropriate place and time, in front of unwanted and certainly unneeded witnesses.

It didn't break the magic, though.

She said yes.

Now that William was almost one year old, and exactly eight years since they first met, their relationship finally passed the long platonic stage.

It wasn't the best sex Mulder ever had, but it was the most intimate experience, satisfying in so many more ways than the mere physical pleasure. He was looking forward to more of it, thinking about different techniques and positions they could try. He wished she would be on top, so that he could enjoy the view, instead of worrying about accidentally suffocating her in the boring old missionary position. He was aware they would have to keep taking it slow and that she may never be ready for his wildest fantasies, but it didn't bother him at all. They had the rest of their lives to get there, wherever it was they were going, whatever it took them to get there. As long as they were together, they'd figure out all that came their way.

After an hour, Mulder tried to wake Scully, but with no avail. Her sleep was so deep that she barely stirred even when he started dressing her and had to move her around to put the clothes on her. He tried to offer her some tortillas, but it didn't work so he ate them both by himself. He was as hungry as she was exhausted, but he couldn't take her to the dinner in this condition. There was nothing left for him but to take her home.

He had to carry her though. All the way to the car, from the car, and all the way to their bed, where he gently removed most of her clothes again and left her to sleep in her underwear.

He was pleased more than worried about her condition. This was the woman who never rested, not because she didn't enjoy a warm bath or sleeping late, but because she rarely had a chance to. Their lives have been one emergency after another. But now her breathing was fine, her pulse was fine, and her face looked content, nicely spent. There was nothing to worry about.

Mulder kissed her on the forehead and quietly left the bedroom. He then called Monica to ask her to bring back the kids.

"I thought you were going to pick them up," Monica was confused.

"Change of plans," Mulder smiled. "My wife is too tired and I don't want to leave her alone."

"What did you do to her, Mulder?" Monica asked playfully.

"You don't want to know," Mulder tried to joke, feeling both embarrassment and a desire to brag.

"I'll take you word for it," Monica chuckled. "But can you really not come? We baked some cookies for you. Even William helped."

"Can you bring them with you?" Mulder asked hopefully. His stomach growled in synchrony.

"I guess we'll have to," Monica accepted. "See you soon, partner."

Mulder barely had a chance to fix a sandwich and take a shower, before everybody arrived. Not just Monica with his kids, but her husband and his son Luke as well. Mulder wasn't keen on entertaining the grumpy retired FBI agent at his home, but he didn't want the night ruined, so he offered them a drink.

"You know I can't," Monica reminded him. He kept forgetting she was trying to get pregnant and wanted to get everything right even before it happened. He made her a tea instead, while her husband got a beer.

"Where is Dana?" Monica wanted to know.

"She's sleeping," Mulder explained.

"So early? Is she ok?"

"Yeah… She just had a headache so she needed to rest…" Mulder lied, looking at the floor. Monica carefully observed him, making mental notes to ask Dana all about "the headache". She could see Mulder had trouble suppressing a smile and had her suspicions about the reason for that. She just hoped whatever happened, didn't happen in her office.

"How was dinner?" she asked.

"Great, it was…" Mulder started, remembering that his partner and his wife were good friends so if he lied, Monica would find out about it soon enough. "We didn't actually make it… to the restaurant."

 _Damn_ , Monica thought, _why did I have to suggest the office? I even gave him some of my sensual aroma candles… What was I thinking?_

Mulder could see her discomfort, but he couldn't bother with feelings of guilt. He was too happy for that. After a glance at John, who was watching TV seemingly oblivious to their conversation, Mulder leaned forward and whispered into Monica's ear: "Don't worry. I cleaned up."

"Oh… God!" she turned her head in disgust.

"It was your idea," he shrugged with a mischievous smile.

"No, no, no, no, no," Monica insisted. " _That_ was not my idea."

"Maybe next time you should be more clear in your suggestions," Mulder proposed.

"Definitely. I will. But tell me… Is something wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is she really ok?"

"Do you think I would hurt her?"

"No, I just…" she shook her head, not knowing what to say. "No."

"I know," Mulder sighed. "She went through… something. It wasn't easy to process, but she's ok now, just tired. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Guests left soon, leaving the smell of freshly baked cookies behind them. Mulder got William ready for bed, and when he put him down, he noticed Emily was sad. She was sitting on her bed, holding her hamster.

"What's wrong?" Mulder asked, sitting next to her.

"I think he's sick," she replied, pointing to the hamster. "He won't eat or do anything, he's just lying like this…"

"Hm… Can I see him?" he carefully took the tiny body and examined it, under Emily's fearful, but hopeful gaze.

"Is he sick?" she asked worryingly.

"He appears to be," Mulder reluctantly confirmed. "We will take him to the vet tomorrow."

"Is he going to die?" Emily's eyes grew big, housing panic.

"I think he's old now," Mulder wanted to comfort her, but he didn't want to lie. "Hamster's don't live very long."

He carefully returned Genie to his owner, who started to silently cry.

"I'm sorry, Starbuck," Mulder wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Death was not a novelty to Emily and as much as Mulder wanted to protect her from the pain of loss, he knew he couldn't do that. Nobody could. You either die or watch your loved ones die. Death has always been the only certainty in life.

He wouldn't buy her a new hamster and claim it was the same one. He wouldn't buy her a replacement one. He would let her grieve and organize a funeral of sorts if she wanted it. It was all he could do.

Luke was also concerned about the hamster. On the ride home, it was all he talked about.

"Do you want one?" John asked him, having it discussed with Monica before. It was her idea, really. The woman was full of silly ideas and John initially dismissed it, but now, seeing his son's enthusiasm, he had a change of heart.

"I can't," Luke sighed. "Mom won't let me."

"Your mom doesn't make decisions in my house."

"Really? I can have one in your house?"

"If that's what you want, yes, we can get a hamster."

"But who is going to take care of him when I'm with mom?"

"Monica," John said quickly. He couldn't bring himself to say _Me_.

"Sure," Monica laughed. "I can keep him alive for you."

"Wow! I can't wait to tell Emily!" Look was beyond thrilled. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Two days later, Emily's hamster was gone, and to weeks after that, when Luke was staying with his father again, he got a hamster of his own. He named him Genie, which further strengthened his bond with Emily.

Next, it was Mulder's turn to face the loss, or more precisely, to finally learn the truth about his biggest loss.

* * *

 **So, you voted for Samantha to be dead. What kind of death was it? Please vote:**

 **a) Her death was paranormal**

 **b) She died from a mysterious illness**

 **c) She died from a normal illness**

 **d) She died in an accident**

 **e) People killed her**

 **f) Aliens killed her**

 **g) Wild animals killed her**

 **h) She killed herself**

 **i) She died giving birth**

 **j) She was killed by her clones**

 **k) Her remains were found but the cause of death is unknown**


	27. Chapter 27

"Push, damn it!" the doctor in black yelled in annoyance, with sweat dripping from his forehead. This delivery was hard on him. It lasted forever, with no end in sight.

The young girl with a curly hair didn't respond. She had no energy left to speak, beg or scream, let alone push. The baby that was stuck inside her had ripped her apart. She left her body and floated above it, free of pain after the hours, the lifetime of torture. She felt lost without the pain, as pain was the only thing she had had left.

Now she had nothing.

"Damn it!" the doctor in black cursed again, pulling his hand out of her to let others start the revival. Not that there was much left to revive…

"I want that baby," the Smoking man declared. "Cut it out of her."

"It's too late," the doctor in black threw the bloody gloves in the trash. "The baby was gone long before her."

The Smoking man wasn't pleased with that information. "I promised her father to give her back. Eventually," he added, when met with the doctor's quizzical look.

"Maybe you shouldn't make promises like that."

"He's a friend," the Smoking man insisted.

The doctor in black just shrugged. He couldn't have cared less, he just wanted to go home. The others had given up, leaving the butchered body and the floating soul at piece at last.

"Then take the samples," the Smoking man ordered. "I don't need her if I can create thousands more of her."

"Except that you can't," the doctor in black reminded him.

"The breakthrough of technology is just around the corner. It'll only take a couple of years," the Smoking man was confident. "Store the samples."

Bill Mulder was a broken man. His wife left him, and his son wasn't talking to him. Getting his daughter back was his main preoccupation these days. Without the hope of ever getting her back, he would have nothing left to lose and that would make him a dangerous man. The project could be comprised and Bill would have to be eliminated.

The Smoking man didn't want that. Bill was too valuable for the project. Besides, he was a friend. The Smoking man could raise another Samantha for him, thousands of them in fact, and his old friend would never know the difference.

The original girl was a pain in the ass anyway.

Friendship was such a hassle. The Smoking man reminded himself to stop making new friends.

Everybody left the room soon, and the floating soul descended to look at her lifeless body. Again. The day of her death had been repeating itself over and over again and she didn't know how to break the cycle and let herself free. Something, or someone, was holding her back.

She cherished those moments of being perfectly still, perfectly alone. The soul of her baby never joined her, and she wondered if the unborn child even had one.

This time, however, she wasn't alone. Sensing another presence, she turned around, facing a woman with red hair. There was something different about the visitor. She wasn't dead, just sleeping.

"What brings you to my hell?" Samantha asked her. The woman's eyes filled with tears, and Samantha could see a recognition in them, as if the woman she never saw before somehow already knew her. Her first words confirmed it.

"Samantha," she gasped with infinite sadness.

"How do you know me?"

"I've been looking for you. For so long."

Samantha carefully observed her, looking for an explanation for her presence. It didn't take long, as the answer was written all over the mysterious woman.

Closing the gap between them, Samantha gently placed her hand on the lowest part of the woman's abdomen.

"You are carrying his seed," she said simply.

"Yeah…" Scully placed her hand on top of Samantha's, and raised the other one to brush the girl's hair. "I am so sorry we couldn't do anything for you."

"You still can," Samantha took a step back. "He has to let me go." Another step.

"I know," Scully agreed. "But he can't. He needs answers."

Samantha glanced at her dead body on the table. "I don't have them." She glanced at the door. "They will make sure nobody else does either."

"Samantha…" Scully said through tears. "What can I do? I will never give up on you."

"Even if it's the only thing I need from you?"

"These people… They need to be punished."

Samantha lowered her head. She didn't want to argue with this woman, she just wanted her to understand. There was no fight left in her, no strength to hold grudges. She had long ago forgiven her torturers, thinking it was the last thing preventing her from moving into the light.

But it wasn't.

She raised her head again to look at the visitor. "What is his name? What is he to me?"

"Fox. He's your brother."

Samantha shook her head absentmindedly. "I thought I had a brother. I just wasn't sure. My memory is fuzzy."

"It's ok," Scully assured her. "I'll talk to him. I tried so many times before, but… I'll find a way."

A nod. Then a sigh. "I just want to get out of here."

"I understand."

Scully wanted to go to her, to embrace her, to steal her away… But there was nothing she could do. The fog started to appear between them, and Scully felt herself waking up. She tried to force herself to remember. To believe.

Samantha watched her, then looked to her right and smiled. Scully followed her gaze, meeting eyes to eyes with a scared fox. The animal's eyes widened in horror as it quickly observed them both, before running away.

"Fox," Samantha grinned fondly, remembering, even if only for a second. "He hated that name."

"He still does," Scully smiled back. Then she woke up.

At first she was confused and disorientated. It was dark outside and she was in her bed, but Mulder wasn't there. She looked at the clock; it was evening. Strange time to be waking up.

She stood up, feeling weirdly calm and relaxed. Not full of energy or anything like that, but devoid of the need to be. For a workaholic like Scully, that was a huge deal.

She found Mulder and William on the living room couch, one watching TV and the other one holding his father's T-shirt up and drawing on his belly. Scully walked over to them and crouched in front of the baby.

"Can I have this?" she asked in a sweet voice, taking the felt pen and offering him a stuffed bunny instead – the first toy she saw within reach.

"Bah," William said, accepting the exchange.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," Mulder smiled.

"Why didn't you stop him?" Scully asked, waiving the felt pen in front of his face.

Mulder smiled again and they both stood up. "He enjoyed it," he shrugged. "I'll wash it off."

"No, you won't," Scully raised her eyebrow. "It's water-proof."

"Oh," Mulder took his T-shirt off and observed the hieroglyphs on his belly that were apparently meant to stay for a while. He looked over his shoulder at William. "Thanks buddy."

"Bah," William responded.

Scully wasn't able to resist brushing the markings with her finger. She craved to touch him, to smell him, to have him. Not in a friendly, comforting way, but in a flesh-craving, horny, long-time-deprived kind of way. It was a new feeling for her, one that she finally accessed and freed from somewhere deep within, one that she no longer feared but finally embraced with a quenching thirst. Sure, she was young and reckless once, but never with her husband. Now that this part of her was back from the dead, she was almost shaking with the anticipitation and potential of the nights to come…

Her touch gave Mulder goosebumps and he closed his eyes for a second, trying to picture Skinner in his underwear or something equally un-arising.

It didn't work. For some reason, with Scully's fingers that low on his body, his naked skin, even Skinner's imagined underwear was sexy as hell.

He opened his eyes to warn her, and found her kneeling in front of him, writing on his belly. It was something very familiar to him, something he used to see almost every day on countless forms and reports – her signature.

"There," she stood up with a smile, tracing her work with her fingers, confirming it. "You're my property now."

"Is that so?" he cupped her head and raised it to meet her gaze. "My eyes are up here, woman."

"Sorry," she giggled, burning under his palms.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, more seriously. "You've been sleeping the whole day."

"Still tired," she admitted. "But much lighter. Calmer. Like a huge weight was lifted from not just my shoulders, but my bones, my… soul. Thank you for walking me through that… release. For being my rock. Yesterday was really tough, but now…" she glanced at William. "In a way, it reminds me of giving birth to him. As hard and painful as it was, it was all worth it. I am rewarded with a new life."

"Does that make you my new baby?" Mulder joked.

"Baby me and you'll be peeing through a catheter," Scully warned.

"Hm," Mulder wasn't impressed. "It wouldn't be the first time."

He leaned down to kiss her and she opened her mouth, reveling in the familiar taste of him. Then she remembered that she hadn't brushed her teeth in at least 24 hours and pulled away, embarrassed.

"I'm a mess," she sighed. "I need a long, warm bath. Or shower, at least."

"Are you talking to me?" Mulder pointed to his painted belly.

"Me first," she smiled, looking around for any potential chore that needed to be done before the shower. "Where is Emily?"

"She's in her room," Mulder's face visibly saddened. "Taking care of Genie. We took him to the vet today."

"What's wrong?"

"He's dying. Old age. There was nothing they could do for him."

"Oh, my poor girl!"

Scully rushed to Emily's room, whose sad face lightened when she saw her. "Mommy, you're awake!"

"Yes, daddy told me that Genie is sick. I'm so sorry, honey."

"Can you heal him, mommy, please?" Emily started to beg, relieved that her mother was finally here. She wanted to wake her up, but daddy wouldn't let her, telling her that mom was very tired and needed to rest, and that she wouldn't be able to help Genie. But Emily knew it wasn't true. Her mom was a doctor, a real doctor, not a stupid veterinarian who doesn't know anything, and she would help Genie get well.

"I don't want him to die! You have to heal him, mommy, please!"

"Emily," Scully kneeled down to her level and started to stroke her hair. It reminded her of Melissa's hair.

Melissa would know what to say. She never feared death.

"I'm a doctor for people, not hamsters," Scully tried to explain. "There's nothing I can do for him."

"But there is! You have to!"

"It's not the same, sweetie. Hamsters are not like people. And even if they were… Doctors can't heal everything. Sometimes… We have to put it in God's hands."

"But I don't want him to die! It's not fair!"

"I know, sweetie. It's hard to say goodbye. Genie had a long and happy life, but it's time to let him go. We gave him everything a hamster could wish for. We have to believe he is going to a better place."

"What better place?" Emily was trying hard to pay attention, though her heart was breaking. Her own mom, her last hope, could not save her hamster. The tears started to fall down her face, but she didn't let herself cry. She didn't want to in front of Genie, afraid of scaring him.

"The place without pain and suffering," Scully softly explained, wiping Emily's tears.

"A happy place?" Emily asked hopefully.

"Yes," Scully confirmed. "A happy place. I promise."

"Where is that, mommy?"

"I don't know, honey."

"Then how do you know it exists?"

"You feel it. Maybe dream about it. When my dad died… I saw him sitting in the armchair, here, in our living room. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't respond. He just looked at me. Then the phone rang and when I blinked, he was gone. It was your grandma calling, to tell me that he died. I think he came to say goodbye and let me know that he is going to a happy place."

"Will I see Genie?"

"I don't know, honey. But you are a very special girl. You see and feel things that the rest of us can't."

"But he's just a hamster. He can't find a happy place."

"He doesn't have to. He will just be there."

"Really?" Emily sniffed, desperate for some hope that her little pet was going to a better place.

"Yes," Scully confirmed. "And you can help him get there faster."

"How?"

"By letting him go. Setting him free."

 _I sound just like Missy_ , Scully thought to herself. She didn't know where those words were coming from, but just like everything else that transpired in the last 24 hours while staying hidden from her consciousness, she felt them in her bones and soul.

Emily stopped crying and carefully reached inside the cage, taking the little, unresponsive body out of it. She took it to her nightstand and gently placed it there.

"What are you doing?" Scully asked her.

"Setting him free," Emily responded. She leaned down to whisper in Genie's little ear. Her whisper was loud enough for Scully to hear everything.

"I know you are a real Genie," the girl said to her pet. "You made my two wishes come true and when you become free, can you fulfill my last wish? Can I have a puppy?"

Scully couldn't suppress a smile. Emily wanted a puppy just as much as she once did. It wasn't a bad idea, for so many reasons, but their family has been going through one crises after another, so there was never the right time. Now was no exception.

"What were your first two wishes?" Scully couldn't help asking.

"Mommy!" Emily complained. "If I tell you they won't come true!"

She seemed to be unaware that her mother had just heard her last wish.

"But they already came true," Scully reasoned. "It's ok to tell them now, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

"Oh," Emily thought for a second. "Okay then. My first wish was to stop being sick, and the other one was to have a friend."

"Those are great wishes."

"Really? Can I have a puppy, mommy?"

"One day, Emily. I promise," Scully said, meaning every word. Emily cared well for her hamster all along, never getting bored of him. She showed she was capable of commitment and responsibility and earned the right to have a puppy. Walking a dog would help her become more open and self-confident, hopefully. Besides, Scully wanted a dog too.

There was just that tiny problem of never being the right time…

Emily went to sleep happy because Genie was going to a better place where he can send her a dog from, and her mother's words assured her that she will be allowed to keep it. Knowing all that significantly helped her to accept the loss when she found the hamster dead in the morning.

Before going to a better place, Genie's body found temporary rest in the freezer, since Emily didn't want to bury him without Luke, who wouldn't be with his father for another week.

It was a sad day for Mulder-Scully family, and Genie's death was only the beginning. William woke up cranky, and Scully was still tired and sensitive from releasing the pain she couldn't remember experiencing.

But the unlucky winner of the day was definitely Mulder, and his infamous prize came with the mail. The innocent-looking envelope sat on the coffee-table waiting for him to return from work, yet it was anything but innocent. Scully watched him tense as he read the letter and clenched the little packet that came with it.

"What is it?" she asked him.

He looked at her as if surprised to see her. "Can you watch the kids?"

In an instant, he was on his feet and putting his jacket on, not wasting time while waiting for Scully's response.

"Where are you going?" Scully followed him, demanding answers.

"I don't know yet," he gave her the letter, keeping the smaller envelope. "But I won't be long."

A quick kiss and he was gone. Scully had no other options but to read the letter that, it would turn out, will change everything for all of them.

It was from Teena Mulder. It seemed to be a goodbye letter, written before her attempted suicide.

"Dear Fox,

I arranged for this to be delivered to you after a, hopefully, appropriate amount of months after my death. By this time, I assume you came to terms with my decision. I know you will never forgive me, and I'm not asking you to understand. If you can trust that I had my reasons, it'll be enough for me. If not, I understand.

There are things I never told you, Fox, and most of it I took to the grave with me. Knowing what I knew would make your life a living hell. But there is one thing that you should know. It's about your sister. It's about Samantha.

Your father knew more about her fate then I could ever guess. He betrayed all of us, in more ways than I ever want you to know. I was a fool and a mere pawn in a game much bigger than all of us. A dangerous game, Fox, that I failed to shield you from. For that, I apologize, but it's as much your fault now as it was mine. You are living a life that you chose for yourself.

There is an address and the key in the small envelope. You will find a safety deposit box there. There are documents, a death certificate, some personal items, like a diary… You may or may not be able to recognize her handwriting. I did.

I never found out what happened to my little girl, but there is enough evidence there that she is long gone… Your father knew it and I didn't, not until he was killed and I inherited his belongings. He lied to us, until his very last breath. I will not do the same to you. I'm giving you this information in the hope that you can find closure and proceed to live a normal life with your lovely wife and children.

This isn't safe, as I know you are aware of. I will make precautions before arranging the delivery of this letter. My mind is not serving me well after my stroke, as you are aware of, so I can only hope I didn't make too many mistakes, and this reached you safely.

I hope the answers this provides will be enough for you. I am going to destroy everything else. It is my last duty as your mother, to protect you from as much as I can, even when you don't approve. My job is done here. I'm with Samantha now.

Love,

Mom."

* * *

 **Should Emily get a puppy? Please vote:**

 **a) Yes, a female puppy**

 **b) Yes, a male puppy**

 **c) No, no more pets**

 **d) No, but she should get some different animal for a pet**


	28. Chapter 28

So much was in there. Medical reports, death certificate, notes from the project, even personal items: a doll, a pair of socks, a diary…

So much, yet nothing at all.

No reason. No cause of death. No explanation. No responsible people.

Nothing significant at all.

It was her, though. It was Samantha. Mulder had all the evidence in the world of her death, which happened when she was 14 years old, but it only gave him more questions. No answers.

He would still find them! He would still make them pay! He had to.

But how?

"Mulder," the familiar voice startled him.

"Scully," he looked at her in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"You've been gone for hours. I was worried."

Hours? He had no idea it's been that long. He glanced at his watch, but it was of no use. He didn't t remember when he got there and he couldn't make much sense of the numbers he was looking at. His mind was too busy elsewhere, for the infinite time trying to remember the exact details of the night his sister was taken – never to be seen again.

"How did you know where I was?" he wondered.

"I took the kids to your mother. I asked her. It took some convincing, but she gave me the address."

"My mother?" The woman who so carefully arranged the letter of truth to reach him after her – luckily failed - suicide, leading him to his father's big secret and, possibly, involvement in terrible things done to her only daughter…

What a lovely family he had.

"She's not alone with the kids," Scully quickly clarified. "My mother is with them."

Mulder barely registered her words. He was busy imagining his own kids growing into assholes and monsters, doing unspeakable things due to some extremely questionable "higher" cause. For the first time in his life, he doubted his ability to shield them from the evil influence all around them.

"Are you ok?" Scully asked worryingly, and when he didn't respond she started to browse through the papers in front of him. The silence that followed was unbearable, yet Mulder wasn't able to force himself to speak.

Besides, it was loud in his head. Samantha was screaming in his mind, just how he remembered her yelling for him to help her, which he failed then, as was again failing now.

"Oh my god," Scully gasped after a small eternity. "It's her. It's really her."

"Yeah," Mulder confirmed. "It's Samantha."

"Mulder, I'm so sorry…"

"We have to find them, Scully! We have to find who did this to her!"

A deep sigh. He knew what it meant. His wife wasn't on board with him.

"You've been searching your whole life," she said gently. "It's time to let her go."

"She's dead, Scully!"

"I know. You can't bring her back. There's nothing you can do to change that."

"I can find the men who did this to her," Mulder was stubborn. "I can bring them to justice."

"Mulder, you can't. They are all gone. There's nothing left of the consortium. Or the project. You and I made sure of that."

"We don't know that," he insisted. "Some of them could still be out there, plotting new conspiracies against humanity. There could…"

"Listen to yourself, Mulder!" Scully snapped. "You are grieving and aren't thinking clearly. Do you think Samantha would want this endless crusade for unreachable vengeance?"

"Yeah, she would."

"Stop! It isn't true. She doesn't need revenge. She needs peace, Mulder. Let her rest at last."

"And how would you know what she needs?"

"I don't know how, but I know. I just do." And that was the truth. For reasons unknown to her, Scully felt close to Samantha, felt like she knew her. She wasn't usually so quick to trusting her instincts, but this time they were so strong and clear that she had no choice but to embrace them. For Mulder's sake. For the sake of their family.

But, blinded by his grief and anger, Mulder wasn't having it.

"You don't understand!" he accused her.

"Which part?" she challenged him, getting pissed with his attitude. "Losing a sister who died instead of me, in my apartment? Not being there to help her? The guilt that I'll carry for the rest of my life? Searching for her killer and reaching one dead end after another? Which part exactly don't I understand?"

Mulder opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and just closed them again. Scully was right, she already lost too much due to his cause. He couldn't drag her into it all over again. It wasn't fair to her or to their children. Besides, she was taken by the same people that hurt Samantha and who knows what they did to her… She may never remember any of it but, as he recently learned, she can get dangerously triggered. One way or the other, hidden or not, the memories followed her.

No, he couldn't ask her to follow him. Not on this. Scully was his wife now, he knew her better than ever and he had a duty to protect her.

"Ok," he nodded, starting to put the papers back in the safe. "Let's go home."

Scully watched him suspiciously for a moment, not expecting to win so easily. She was pleased with the victory nonetheless, and helped him store everything back. Neither of them wanted that stuff in their home. Especially not the picture. A terrible picture of tortured young body.

Half of the body, to be precise, butchered after the death, as if they were trying to hide something from the pathologist who didn't have enough material to detect the cause of the death. He was clearly only supposed to be able to identify the body.

Samantha Ann Mulder.

Her father's signature, confirming it was her, and signing off his rights to claim her body. What was his reward for doing that? What was the threat? What were his reasons?

It was all buried with him.

"Do you believe that you mother wasn't involved in this?" Scully asked after they locked the box with the most important documents and placed it in the safe with the rest of the stuff.

"I don't think it matters anymore," Mulder said tiredly. His mother's mind was half-gone anyway. Maybe it was a mercy for her to end like that.

They went to get the children and didn't mention anything to Teena and Maggie. Scully took care of the kids and feigned cheerfulness for their sake, but Mulder was distant and lost in thoughts. Neither of them slept that night. Scully was turning and tossing for hours then dozed off for a second, and when she woke up Mulder was gone.

He went back to the safe and took everything from it to his office. While Monica filled up some paperwork, Mulder was getting into his profile mode, deeper than he ever was before.

What kind of people would take a child from her home to perform unspeakable tests on her? Or kidnap grown-up women to do the same on them? Or even create children for the exact same purpose?

It seemed like they got their test subjects in amazingly creative ways. They were all female, though. When Scully got pregnant, the Smoking man asked Mulder to sacrifice the child, but only if it was a girl. He still hadn't come close to William, and even though Mulder and Scully would never let their guard down, perhaps he never would.

Scully pointed out that consortium was dead, but someone still threatened their baby. Maybe the main project failed, but it seemed someone was still making some kind of experiments. And they only needed, or greatly preferred, females.

Why?

Of course, it was always possible that the Smoking man was making empty threats just to spite him.

The possibilities were endless, and Mulder wasn't getting anywhere.

"Mulder!" Monica's voice startled him. He raised his head with a tired question mark.

"I said our shift is over," she informed him. "Go home. Get some rest."

"I will," he looked at his watch, not caring at all what it said. "You go, I'll just… finish here."

"Don't stay late," Monica was already putting her coat on. Mulder barely even heard her. With his partner gone, he had the whole office to himself, distraed only once, when Scully called him to ask where he was.

He told her he was working late.

It was a long night and he didn't have any patience left. He wanted answers and he wanted them NOW. His imagination went wild on figuring out the most painful and slow ways to die, but they all seemed too merciful.

Who cuts a dead girl in half and for what purpose? It seemed too much of an effort to hide the rape, so what then? Samantha's diary didn't give him any clues as it ended over a year before her death.

She mentioned tests and how they made her feel, but she never went into details, using the dairy as the means of escaping it all. She was clearly trying to preserve the glimpses of her memories of a normal life she once led…

 _I think I had a brother…_

"Damn it!" Mulder banged his hand on the desk. It hurt, but the pain was welcomed.

 _You still have a brother_ , he thought sadly, calming down a little. _You always will._

Monica found him in the morning, almost sleeping in front of the computer screen. She tried to reason with him, but he was too far gone for that. He dedicated his life to finding his sister, and even though she turned out to be dead, for the first time he had a concrete evidence, a lead, a… something.

"Mulder…" the concerned voice would startle him, sometimes belonging to his wife, sometimes to his partner. Even his boss tried to drag him out of his madness, but no one succeeded.

The most Scully managed was to get him home for the night, but he hardly slept and started to spend most of his time in the office. When Scully needed him to watch the children he would switch to auto-pilot for feeding William and changing his diapers.

Emily left him alone. She sensed his darkness and, for the first time, feared her father.

This went on for about a week, when Mulder finally managed to dig an address.

"Let's go!" he startled Monica when she arrived to work one morning.

"Go where?" she wondered. "Have you spent the night here again?"

"The lab," he answered the first question, ignoring the second. "It's all there! It's where they kept her, at least for a while. Maybe we can find more evidence there."

"Go home, Mulder," Monica said sadly. "The project is long gone. There's nothing left to investigate."

"There just might be…" he said more to himself, grabbing his coat. He didn't turn around to see if she was following him, with or without her he was on a mission.

Loyally and dutifully, Monica run after him. He drove her to a clearly abandoned building and rushed inside.

"There's nothing in here," she complained.

"There's gotta be," Mulder insisted.

They went in deeper, through one empty room after another. It almost seemed like an endless labyrinth, but everything was empty. There wasn't a piece of furniture left, a book or even a paper clip. Whatever the huge building once contained has now been wiped clean.

Nothing but the dust…

Monica followed him, but when Mulder reached to open the door with a radiation warning on it, she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"It's over, Mulder," she insisted. "You won't find her in there."

"No, but there could be evidence."

"Or who knows what dangerous radiation! We are not properly equipped to deal with it."

"Then stay here," Mulder suggested, reaching for the door again.

She stopped him again. "I won't let you go alone."

"Then come with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" he almost yelled. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm pregnant!" she raised her voice as well, then repeated quietly, letting go of him. "I'm pregnant…"

That finally reached him. He forgot where he was and why and stared at her, letting memories run through his head. His mother saying those same words, one of the first memories he had, until this moment completely forgotten, but now returned to him.

Then Scully saying them.

His ex-wife saying them… Ok, hers were followed by _it isn't yours_ , but they still left him speechless. The miracle of life…

"That's a…" he tried to find his voice.

"We just found out so I haven't told anyone yet and I'd appreciate it if you could keep it for yourself for a while…"

"Yeah, sure," he nodded awkwardly, but then a huge grin appeared on his face and he pulled her into a hug. "I'm happy for you."

She held him tightly, relieved that she managed to bring him back from self-destruction, even if it costed her the reveal of her sweetest secret. "Samantha is a beautiful name. Would you mind if I-"

"Is it a girl?" he pulled away to look at her, amazed.

"I hope so," Monica smiled. "But we don't know yet. It's too early."

"Sam can be a boy's name too, you know."

"I know. John's grandfather was Samuel. I think he'd love that."

Mulder nodded, glanced at the door with warning sign and pulled her away from it. "Come on, let's go!"

"Where?" she got worried again.

"To _my_ girls," his response calmed her down and filled her heart with joy. "And _my_ baby."

* * *

 **Ok, I need 2 votes from you now. Please choose:**

 **1) The name for Emily's (female) puppy**

 **2) The gender for Monica's baby**


	29. Chapter 29

Genie had a royal funeral. Mulder chose a nice, private spot in nature where he used to play with Samantha a long time ago. Scully borrowed an old organ-transport bag from her new hospital job – the one that wasn't safe enough for organs anymore, but was still perfect for a little hamster.

Luke was there, of course. Emily refused to have a ceremony without him.

John dug the grave, for some reason unclear even to him. Except that it was a man's job and he was the only man present. He didn't count Mulder, not because he didn't consider him to be a man, he just thought of him as a… different kind of man.

Monica brought a special stone to bury with the little pet.

"It belonged to my turtle," she explained. "I kept it in memory of her, but now I want Genie to take it back to her."

"You had a turtle?" Luke's eyes grew wide. "And Genie will meet her?"

"I don't know," Monica shrugged. "But it would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Luke agreed. "It would be awesome!"

"What do you think, Emily?"

Emily shrugged. She didn't care about turtles, and she didn't want Genie to meet one. She wanted him to stay with her.

"Do you have anything you would like to bury with your hamster?" Monica asked gently.

"I have a car!" Luke exclaimed, taking a toy from his pocket and throwing it in the grave. "Maybe he can drive it?" he asked hopefully. "So that he can find your turtle faster?"

"Maybe," Monica allowed the possibility.

Emily didn't respond. She just stood above the grave, thinking. Then, without a word, she went to her dad and shoved her hand in his pocket. She returned with a handful of sunflower seeds, and showered them in a brief and awkward rain over the tiny improvised casket.

"Ok," John said, barely hiding his impatience. "Are we ready to fill it up?"

He reached for his hand showed, but Mulder stopped him.

"Not yet," he said. His sunflower seeds were already inside, but he had something else in another pocket. Without offering explanations, he placed Samantha's keychain in the grave and walked away.

Scully went after him. They stood in silence, looking at the sky. There was still a bright day, the sun was still up, but she knew what he was looking for.

Stars.

Mulder was searching for Samantha's star, for a sign, for a confirmation that she was finally free.

And then it came. Not from the sky, but from right next to him.

"She's at peace now," Scully said gently.

Mulder turned to her and nodded, suspiciously, but grateful for her effort.

"The girl from the picture," Scully sighed, turning her gaze back to the sky. "I saw her in my dream. She's at peace, Mulder. I just know."

"Since when do you believe in dreams, Scully?"

"Since William came true," she said, taking a step closer. He placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her nearer. Scully smelled like home and family, and a bit like hospital. That last smell freaked Mulder out, but he knew he would have to get used to it, now that she was a full time doctor, saving lives… Just like she saved his, countless times, in numerous ways.

"I had the same dream," he said, and she didn't ask if he meant Samantha or William.

Or Emily.

Or their marriage.

It was all somehow implied.

"Tell me about her," Scully inquired, enjoying the sounds of children running and laughing in the background. Monica really managed to convince them that Genie's life should be celebrated, not just mourned.

"Well…" Mulder smiled, warmed with memories. "From the moment she was born she filled our family with joy. We argued a lot, but it doesn't mean we weren't close. Our parents were always busy or fighting with each other, so sometimes it felt like Samantha and I only had each other. This may sound weird, but when Monica asked me if she could use the name for her baby-"

"Her _what_?" Scully cut him off. "She's pregnant?"

"Um, no, not yet, I mean…" Mulder remembered that it was supposed to be a secret, but it was too late. Scully could see right through him, though it wasn't Mulder she wanted to look at at the moment.

She ran back towards Monica and John, followed by a very guilty-looking Mulder.

"You told him before telling me?" Scully scolded Monica, pulling her into a hug. Over the smaller woman's shoulder, Monica had a clear view of her partner, who answered her accusing gaze with an apologetic shrug, mouthing "Sorry."

"I had to Dana, I'm sorry," it was Monica's turn to apologize, but to her betraying partner's wife, not him. "You know how he gets and won't listen to reason. It was the only way to stop him. He was trying to drag me into a possibly radioactive-"

"I wasn't!" Mulder quickly interrupted, since John suddenly looked like he would try to kill him with his gaze, and if that didn't work, then maybe with some more effective method. "I wanted to go by myself. Besides, the building was abandoned, there was no-"

"She's not going to abandoned buildings anymore," John warned him.

"You think I would endanger her baby?" Mulder barked back.

" _My_ baby," John corrected him.

" _Our_ baby," Monica concluded. "Now stop it, both of you! I don't like seeing my two favorite men fight."

"You have to respect pregnant lady's wishes," Scully warned them with a smile, turning back to Monica. "That's great news, I'm so happy for you. How far along are you?"

"Just over two months. It's still early, so I'd appreciate it if you could make your husband keep his mouth shut, at least in front of Skinner. Though, between you and me, I'm so thrilled that I want to shout it out for the whole world to know!"

"I know exactly how you feel," Scully said, looking at William who slept peacefully on the picnic blanket. "It's such a miracle."

Then the shouting started.

But it wasn't Monica.

It was Emily.

"Thank you, Genie, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

It came from the nearby bush, causing Mulder and Scully to freeze for a second, when they realized at the same time that just a moment ago they weren't keeping a close guard on Emily. With one quick gaze, they forged a plan: Mulder rushed to their daughter, while Scully stayed with their son.

Monica watched them in amazement. She wasn't close enough to Mulder to be able to communicate with him that effectively using just eyes, but she was close enough to him to recognize him doing it.

Emily's shouts were clearly caused by joy, but it didn't stop her parents from worrying. After all, she was a product of a secret experiment, and as such, her safety could never be guaranteed.

"Monica! Daddy!" Luke rushed from the bushes to inform them. "Genie made Emily's wish come true! He's for real!"

"What are you talking about?" Scully asked, nervously looking towards the bushes. "Mulder?"

"It's ok," Mulder responded. "We, um… Someone got lost over here."

"He's not lost," Emily declared, emerging with a yellow puppy in her arms. "He's mine! Genie sent him to me, it was my wish! He's mine!"

Puppy started to eagerly lick her face in agreement.

"Oh my god," Scully gasped, approaching them.

"Don't…" Mulder winced with disgust, trying to discourage puppy from her daughter's face. "…let him do that."

It only made the puppy lick harder.

"Can I see it?" Scully asked, and Emily reluctantly handed her the puppy, with a clear warning: "He's mine!"

"Someone must be looking for it," Mulder insisted. "I'm sure it just wants to go home."

"No!" Emily disagreed. "He's mine! Genie sent him to me, didn't he, Luke?"

"It's true," Luke confirmed. "I saw it."

"Maybe their Genie sent the dog to eat our Genie?" John whispered to Monica. She kicked him with the elbow in disapproval, already very protective of their new hamster.

"The poor thing is starving," Scully announced after a quick examination. "This dog is either lost or abandoned. We need to take it to the vet."

"No, mommy!" Emily's eyes filled with tears. "He's mine! Genie sent him to me!"

Scully handed the puppy back to her. "You don't want him to get sick, do you? A vet will make sure that he's healthy, ok?"

"But can I keep him?" Emily pleaded.

Scully sighed. "We don't have enough room for the puppy," she tried to reason. She couldn't just say no, not to Emily, and not to the puppy.

She couldn't look Mulder in the eye, either.

They left Genie to rest in peace and went their separate ways: Doggett family to the new Genie, and Mulder-Scully family to the vet with the new puppy.

As it turned out, the puppy really came out of nowhere. Or at least there was no proof against that theory. It wasn't microchipped, no one reported it missing…

"Genie sent him to me!" Emily explained to the vet, in her excitement forgetting all about her usual shyness.

"And who is Genie?" The young vet wondered.

"He's my hamster. He died and sent me my puppy because I asked him to! He gave me three wishes because he was a real Genie! And I took really good care of him. But he got sick and we took him to the other vet, and he said Genie had to die. But my dog isn't going to die, is he? He's so young, still a baby… Good boy!"

Mulder and Scully were left speechless. They never saw Emily talk so much, so fast, and with a complete stranger.

"Your dog is healthy," the vet assured her. "But it's not a boy. It's a girl."

Scully turned to Mulder and repeated in delightful surprise: "It's a girl…"

She looked like she just gave birth. To a girl. After ten boys.

"Let's take her home then," Mulder shrugged, accepting his fate.

"Mulder, we don't have to," Scully forced herself to propose. "There is a great shelter near-"

"I'm not taking my dog to the shelter," Mulder declared.

He didn't want a dog. Not now, not ever. But that look in Emily's eyes… That look in Scully's eyes… He would bring home a dozen dogs just to see that spark.

"Alright," he turned to the vet. "What else do I need for Lucy?"

"Lucy?" Scully was puzzled.

"She looks like Lucy," Mulder shrugged. "Doesn't she, Emily?"

"Yes!" Emily instantly agreed. "I love it, daddy, I love her, I love you!"

"Lucy," Scully tried the name. "It suits her." She turned to William with a smile: "What do you think, baby? Do you like the name Lucy?"

"…Ucy…" William confirmed.

As they got all the supplies and walked out of the vet's office, Scully got hit by reality again.

"We don't have enough room for a dog," she weakly tried to protest.

"Look how happy she is," Mulder pointed to Emily, snuggled with her puppy. "She needs this."

"You need this," he added.

"Thank you," Scully whispered, losing all her ability to forcefully resist the new family member.

They kissed to seal the decision, before taking Lucy to her new home.

* * *

 **I am thinking it might be time to start bringing this story to an end. So for the next vote, I want to ask if you have any wishes or requests? Is there anything you want addressed, explained, introduced, dealt with…? Anything you want to happen? Anybody you want more of? Anything at all? Let me know! I can't make any promises, but I'll certainly try to include whatever I can. Thank you for your continuous support and involvement in this story!**


	30. Chapter 30

Scully and Monica were in the mall, shopping. Monica had barely started showing and wanted to stock up on pregnancy clothes. She also thought Scully didn't get out enough and sought to rectify that.

As it quickly turned out, two women didn't share the same taste.

"This looks like an outfit for work!" Monica complained at Scully's choice.

"You will need to wear something to work," Scully reminded her.

"I know," Monica sighed. "But I'm not in the state of mind to shop for work right now. I want to have fun!"

She trailed towards the shirts with pictures of babies peeking from the belly. Picking up one that said "Baby on board", she turned towards Scully with a joyful grin.

"How about this one?" Scully picked a random one, not showing any enthusiasm. Hers said: "We hope it's a dinosaur!"

"Aww, that's cute," Monica melted under Scully's judgmental gaze.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"I should have taken Luke with me. He would love those!" Monica was thrilled.

"So would Emily, I guess. But you do need to look like an adult sometimes."

"I know," Monica sighed, staring at the floor. "I just…"

"What's wrong?" Scully approached her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," Monica quickly pulled herself together, the smile reappearing on her face. She returned to more business-like looking clothes and started to browse them again. Scully couldn't help noticing that she avoided eye contact.

"Monica," she pressed. "Is it something at work? If Mulder is being-"

"No," Monica quickly interrupted her. "Everything's great at work."

"At home, then? With John?"

"No, of course not. We are both so happy. We've been trying for a while and…"

"You are having second thoughts?"

"No, it's not that. I guess it's just hormones… Forget about it!" Monica turned to another shelf, but Scully stayed in place, looking at her intently.

"Monica," she called her back and waited until she had her full attention. "If you aren't ready for this, the shopping can wait. Your belly won't grow overnight."

Monica opened her mouth to protest, but changed her mind and just shook her head. "You're right. I'm not ready to feel big and swollen. On what floor is Victoria's secret?"

"You need underwear?" Scully raised her eyebrow.

"Um…" Monica sounded mysterious. "Not exactly…"

"Lingerie? Isn't that a bit… unnecessary?"

"It helped me get pregnant," Monica giggled, naughtily. "Come on."

She dragged Scully away from maternity clothes, into a more sensual shop. Scully felt a bit embarrassed in there, and a bit sad. It reminded her of shopping with her sister, helping each other seduce boys and, later men. She couldn't remember the last time she had enough time, desire or simply a reason for getting something so impractical.

Monica quickly filled her cart with all kinds of sexy items. Mostly pink.

"Because I'm having a girl," she said with confidence. "I don't need a confirmation from my doctor to know."

"You never know," Scully smiled mysteriously.

"No, but I can read signs. They are everywhere, if we just pay attention."

"In that case, I think I also had signs I was having a girl," Scully mused. "But I got William instead!"

"You got signs? A famously skeptical scientist?" Monica mocked her a little.

"I sure did," Scully chuckled. "We talked about it and prepared for a girl. We had a name for her… It didn't matter to us, but the girl would've been harder to protect so we had to be prepared."

"I know," Monica sighed. "When I think about all the evil in the world, I almost don't want to bring children into it…"

"Well," Scully decided to change the subject. Monica was a bit down today anyway. Thinking about monsters praying on children was the last thing she needed. "What are your signs?"

"Oh. Did Emily tell you what she and Luke discovered about our hamster?"

"She told me he goes by Genia now."

" _She_ goes by Genia now," Monica corrected her. "It's a girl. Just like your dog."

"My dog is a sign for you? Thank god you aren't having twins, because Lucy is trouble enough! I wouldn't be able to handle two of her!"

"You'll see," Monica smiled, self-assured. She gently brushed her stomach. "Samantha Evelyn Doggett."

She quickly tossed a see-through bra into her cart, noticing that Scully's cart was still empty.

Correction. Scully didn't even have a cart.

"We have to get something for you."

"No, I… This isn't really my style."

"What? Pink? How about red?" Monica picked a very sexy, very red lace teddy and held it spread in front of Scully. "Red is definitely your color."

"This doesn't look very practical," Scully observed.

"It's not supposed to be practical. It's supposed to be… How did you manage to get a hot stud like my partner into your bed with that kind of thinking?"

"I, um… Found out we have a child together so he had to marry me?"

Monica tilted her head, observing her for a second, then she tossed the lingerie into her cart. "Consider it a gift."

"Please," Scully tried to protest. "We are here for you. You don't need to get me anything."

"Oh, it's not for you. It's for my partner."

"It won't work. Mulder is color-blind."

"Not to that degree. Besides, he's not _blind_ -blind, is he?"

Later, while they were having cake and bubble-tea, Monica decided to bring back the subject.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. I can get carried away sometimes."

"It's fine," Scully said, not sounding very convincing.

"We'll go back and return it," Monica offered. "I was out of line. I'm sorry."

"No, it's not you. It's me," Scully looked at the floor. She wasn't used to talking about this, not even with Mulder. Or maybe especially not with Mulder. She sometimes went to the therapist when she needed to talk, but her therapist was working for the FBI and Scully wasn't anymore, so she lost access to her.

"What's wrong?" Monica asked carefully. She didn't want to push her, but she wanted to be there for her, and there was a very fine line between those two options.

"Mulder and I aren't really…" Scully struggled to find the right words. Or any words.

"What?" Monica nudged. "Sleeping together?"

"We aren't… functional," Scully finally blurted. "Well, I'm not."

"You don't enjoy it? Is Mulder pushing you too far?"

"No, he's wonderful. No one has ever been so gentle and careful with me. Of course, no one ever had to," Scully mused bitterly. She really, really didn't want to talk about this, but she had to tell someone.

"Is it hard for you?" Monica asked quietly. There wasn't a hint of judgement in her voice, so Scully decided it was safe to continue.

"It's not that, I… I enjoy the intimacy, but sometimes… my body remembers… what my mind can't…"

"You still get triggered…"

"I think that Mulder is afraid of hurting me. I don't think that he's ever fully relaxed with me and he always seems guilty if he gets something for himself… As if everything is supposed to be about my needs. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being selfish… by keeping him."

Monica didn't respond and awkward silence occurred. Scully buried her face in her hands, regretting opening up and wishing for the world around her to disappear. Life suddenly seemed way too much to handle. She started to shake from the effort of trying to stop the tears.

"Dana," Monica's gentle voice slowly got her attention. "John and I… His injury is making everything harder for us, especially in bed. Even on his good days, I have to do most of it by myself. It's too hard for him. And on bad days, well, I'd better not talk about that. It's never going to get better. It won't get easier. But we are in it together. We get the most out of what we can and I never once thought that it wasn't enough. I never once wanted to walk away. It never was and it never will be an option, because what we have goes beyond his physical limitations and no other man could satisfy me the way he does. The proof of our love is growing inside me. I'm proud of him every day and I am lucky to have him. And I know, without a doubt, that Mulder feels the same for you. I know, Dana, because it's not something you can hide from a partner."

By this point, Scully was long past holding the tears. She was silently, but openly sobbing.

"I know," Monica squeezed her hand to assure her. "I know."

"So what do I do?" Scully asked after she managed to compose herself.

"What _do_ you do?" Monica mirrored. "Do you just lay there and let him do all the work?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Scully admitted.

"Well then, have fun coming up with ways to seduce him."

Scully thought for a second, then picked up the bag with Monica's gift. "Can you help me chose more of these?"

"I thought you'd never ask!"

* * *

After helping Emily with her homework and giving William a bath, Mulder made himself comfortable on the couch. He wanted to watch the game while waiting for Scully to come home.

It wasn't going as planned. Lucy, the ever-growing puppy, had other plans. She wanted to play, and for some reason Mulder's legs were her favorite toy.

"Stop it!" Mulder tried to shake off her teeth. He lifted his feet to the coffee table, making it a bit harder for Lucy to reach. Unfortunately, she liked the challenge.

His move also attracted William's attention. The toddler quickly and enthusiastically approached, giving him a slap on the leg.

"No!" William informed his dad, wiggling his little finger in the air. "No, no! No, no!"

"I get it, Mr. uber-Scully," Mulder sighed, lowering his feet back to Lucy's reach. Scully didn't allow feet on the coffee table, or any kind of table for that matter. She never had a problem with it, even did it herself, in his old apartment, but the rules were quite different at her place.

 _Her place_ , Mulder thought bitterly. This was still _her_ place.

He curled his legs underneath his ass to protect them. It was uncomfortable and he felt like a woman.

William was fervently cleaning the coffee table. Mulder wondered how to make a man out of him. He didn't feel like a good example.

"Hey buddy," he patted on the couch next to him. "Come watch a game with daddy."

William tilted his head, considering the offer. If he grew his hair and got a haircut like Scully's, Mulder realized he would have a hard time telling them apart. It wouldn't help with turning the boy into a man, either.

"Come," Mulder called again, and William decided to accept the offer. As he climbed on the couch, Lucy jumped right between them.

This, however, wasn't against the rules. Lucy had more rights than a husband in this place, or at least that's how it seemed to Mulder.

"Who wants popcorn?" Emily appeared from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn.

"Where did you get that?" Mulder was surprised.

"I made it," Emily said proudly. "In the microwave."

"You can't use microwave by yourself," Mulder said, at the same moment realizing that he was trying to teach one kid how to follow the rules, while teaching the other how to break them. Parenting was confusing. And hard.

"Why not?" Emily wanted to know.

"It's dangerous. And you are too young," Mulder sounded stupid even to himself, but he couldn't come up with more convincing arguments.

"But daddy, I go to school now!" Emily reminded him. "I am not a little girl anymore."

The school. It was a big step for Emily and she was doing noticably better every day. There was just one problem, she wasn't making any friends.

Mulder approached her and kissed her on the forehead. "You're always be my little girl. I know you know how to use the microwave, but next time call me to watch, ok? I promise I won't interfere."

"Ok," Emily lowered her gaze in shame, reminding Mulder that she was still very fragile and self-conscious.

"Um, that smells wonderful," he said to lift her spirit. "You did a great job, Starbuck!"

"You want it, daddy?" her eyes lit with pride.

"Of course," Mulder took a popcorn and chewed it. "It's delicious. But you know what would make them even better?"

"What?"

"Butter. Come, I'll teach you how to make real American popcorn! Not this diet-version your mommy makes."

They went to the kitchen and applied a generous amount of butter on the popcorn. They both agreed it tasted much better that way. William agreed as well. Lucy too. The bowl was gone in a second, and Emily proudly made another one, all by herself, under her father's supervision. He had to admit, her microwave-using skills were flawless.

After a quick bathroom-break, Mulder found his children sitting on the living room floor and throwing popcorn into each other's mouth. It all ended up on the floor, but not for long because Lucy was quick at catching and devouring them.

 _At least this dog is good for something_ , Mulder thought, grateful that Scully wouldn't come home to a mess. He figured it was a good opportunity to go back to his game, but as soon as he landed on the couch again, the front door opened and Scully's voice greeted them.

They all rushed to her, excited as if they haven't seen her for months.

"Mommy, what did you buy me?" Emily wanted to know, while Lucy was trying to lick Scully's nose.

"Nothing this time, honey. I was just helping Monica pick up some pregnancy clothes."

"Boring," Emily declared. She retrieved to her room and William and Lucy followed her.

"I did get something for you, though," Scully said to Mulder when she was sure the kids couldn't hear her.

"What?" Mulder wondered, looking at her empty hands.

"I left it in the car," Scully smiled mysteriously. "It's a secret."

"A secret?" Mulder was puzzled. "What's gotten into you, Scully?"

"That…" Scully wrapped her arms around his neck. "…is not the right question."

"And what is the right question?" he asked, trying to kiss her, but she pulled away, teasingly. He felt a smell of some new perfume on her.

"There are two, actually," she explained. She pulled his head a bit down and whispered into his ear. "The first one is: What's _about to_ get into me?"

"And the second one?" he whispered as well, not trusting his voice since his breathing was getting harder.

"How many times?" Scully answered in the most sensual voice he'd ever heard. "Actually, I forgot about the most important question of all."

"Which is what?"

"What am I about to do to you?"

"Jesus, woman!" he pulled her closer, taking her mouth with his, searching for her tongue with his, hungry and thirsty with passion and need.

"How do I find the answers?" he whispered when she pulled away to catch a breathe.

"Start by putting the children to bed, while I go back to the car."

"Yes, Mam!"

The children were never tucked in quicker and more effectively.

Soon after, as promised, Scully answered each and every question in great details. Mulder was never more satisfied with the answers. And he never had a better night in his whole life, or even in his dreams.

* * *

 **What do you want to happen next? Please vote:**

 **a) Scully gets a flu or something and Mulder has to take of her**

 **b) They all go to visit Scully's brother Bill**

 **c) Scully's brother Charlie unexpectedly visits them**

 **d) Monica has a miscarriage**

 **e) John Doggett suddenly dies**

 **f) Luke Doggett is kidnapped again**

 **g) Skinner invites them to his wedding**

 **h) Lucy gets pregnant**


	31. Chapter 31

**Again, I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Part of the reason is that my life got all upside-down and I'm hardly ever in the mood for writing. I mostly have to force myself to start. The other reason is that, I don't why, but my chapters are getting longer than they used to be. This is my longest ever! I hope you'll enjoy it, and thank you again for all the support!**

* * *

Monica was putting cake in the oven and John was watching television, when the doorbell rang.

"Luke!" Monica called. "Can you get that?"

"Yeah," Luke emerged from his room, in a visibly bad mood. Not even finding his best friend on the other side of the door managed to lift his spirit.

"We have very bad news," he informed the whole Mulder-Scully family.

"What's wrong?" Scully's heart started to beat a lot faster. She wasn't in a mood for bad news.

"Sam is a girl," he stated with disgust. "I will never have a brother. It's not fair!"

"You can have mine," Emily offered generously.

Luke observed William for a second, then offered a hand to him. "Come, Jackson. What do you want to play with?"

"He wants the green car," Emily answered instead. "And I want to play with Genia!"

"Ok," Luke agreed and the children went to his room.

Adults went to the living room to greet John. Monica was just coming from the kitchen.

"Hello," she greeted her guests, giving them both a kiss on the cheek. "Welcome!"

"We heard the bad news," Scully smiled.

"Oh yeah," Monica chuckled. "My doctor confirmed it. We're having a girl."

"Congratulations," Mulder warmly embraced her, under John's disapproving gaze.

"Are you still ok with the name?" Monica was hesitant.

"Of course." Mulder assured her. "I can't wait to meet her."

"I wouldn't want it to be awkward or bring bad memories for you."

"It won't. I have more good memories than the bad ones."

While partners were having a discussion, Scully joined John on the couch.

"So," she said, a bit reluctantly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Me?" John was surprised. This was Monica's friend, and he never talked to her much, especially not meaningfully. He wasn't a very friendly and approachable person, and he knew it. What could this woman want from him? "What about?"

"There is a new treatment being introduced in my hospital," Scully explained. "And I think you might be a candidate."

"I'm not interested," John quickly replied. There was a reason he avoided people. He didn't need anybody to fix him.

"Just hear me out," Scully asked, and so he did. He let her talk about the research, the procedures, the results, the expectations. Half of the words she used he didn't really understand, the other half he simply didn't pay attention to. He stared at the papers she gave him and politely nodded here and there, respectfully waiting for her to finish.

But his answer stayed the same.

No.

"So you won't even consider it?" Scully asked. "You'd rather live in misery for the rest of your life?"

"There's no need for experimental treatments, Dr. Scully," John said calmly. "I'm fine."

"You are NOT fine!" Scully snapped. She banged her fist on the coffee table and jumped to her feet. "You can't work, you rarely go out and you couldn't even stand up to greet us!"

With a sigh and with more than a little effort, John got to his feet and offered her a hand. "Hello, thank you for coming."

Scully didn't accept. "Go to hell!" she told him and stormed to the kitchen, leaving everybody confused. Mulder wanted to go after her, but Monica stopped him. "I'll go. You check the children. It's fine."

John just shrugged and sat down again.

Monica found Scully at the kitchen sink. She watched her fill and drink up two cups of water, before she approached her.

"Want to tell me what all that was about?" she asked with a mixture of worry and annoyance.

"I'm sorry," Scully turned on the water again and splashed it on her face. "It's so hot in here."

"Dana…"

"I know. I don't know what got into me. I'll go apologize," she tried to walk past Monica, but her friend stopped her.

"I'd rather let Mulder apologize to John in your name," Monica was very serious. "And hear the explanation from you here."

"I don't know what to tell you," Scully sighed, embarrassed. "He seems so… self-destructive, and I don't know how to reach him. It's just so frustrating. He won't even listen to me, but what does he have to lose if he tries?"

"His son," Monica whispered.

"What?"

"Sit down. I'll make us some tea. Or would you rather have coffee?"

"Tea is fine," Scully sat at the kitchen table, while Monica busied herself with boiling water for the tea and checking the cake.

"John got injured saving his son," Monica said. "He never complains, because to him it was a small price to pay for getting his boy back."

"Do you think he fears he'd lose Luke again if his legs got healed?"

"Who knows? He'd never say it, and I don't think he consciously believes it, but there could be a part of him that does." She placed a cup of tea in front of Scully, and the other one across the table for herself. "Sugar? Honey?" she offered.

"No, thank you," Scully said. "Why is it so cold in here?"

"You just said it was too hot," Monica was confused. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. What made you fall in love with him?" Scully tried to change the subject. "You two are nothing alike."

"Neither are you and Mulder, but that hasn't stopped you at all," Monica smiled mischievously.

"Yeah… But it's not something I ever anticipated. I still don't understand how it happened."

"That can be tricky," Monica agreed. "In our case, it was John's ex-wife who first noticed."

"Ugh. That must've been awkward."

"Um, no, actually it wasn't. She really pushed us towards each other."

"She did? Why?"

"They were staying together because of Luke, even though the love was long gone. They weren't fighting, their marriage was peaceful and friendly and they were both content with that. But when Luke went missing, her priorities drastically changed. She realized life was too short to settle for less and she didn't want Luke to grow up in the environment in which his parents didn't feel enough passion to even argue with each other. Still, she couldn't leave an injured man. She wanted to find someone else for him first."

"Why you?"

"Because I risked my life for her son. What happened to John, it could've easily been me. When he got injured… I couldn't stay behind to help him. I had to get Luke, take him to safety. I remember holding the poor little boy and how he shook in my arms, too weak to cry. He was dehydrated and covered in his own feces and urine. It was a miracle that he survived. I run with him, not knowing if we'd ever see his father again. I still have nightmares about that."

Scully stared at her cup of tea, reminded about her own worst nightmare, in which Emily was dead and William being raised by strangers who called him Jackson. Her mother was dead as well, her brother Bill living in Europe and Charlie long lost to her… Even Mulder wasn't around. She was living alone in a sterile house, having only futuristic appliances and sex toys to talk to…

The dream was confusing, but felt way too real. She had it a couple of times, with some differences and inconsistences, but the main theme was always the same.

She was alone.

She was all alone, and it was all her fault, all because of the wrong choices she kept making…

Over and over and over again…

"Is everything alright?" Mulder's voice startled them both.

"Yeah," Monica said. She went to the oven to get the cake, giving Mulder and Scully a little space.

"Mulder," Scully said. "If you ever had to choose between me and the kids…"

"What are you talking about?"

"If it ever comes to that," Scully insisted. "What would you do?"

"I would never leave any of you behind, you know that."

"But if you had to! If there was no time…"

"What brought this on?" Mulder was confused and annoyed. It reminded him of the time when he had to choose between Scully and Samantha, and he allowed his sister to be taken and killed. Even though it turned out that was a clone, at the time he believed it was real Samantha.

"I've told her how I left John to possibly bleed to death, so that I could save his son," Monica filled him in.

"I would've never married you if you didn't," John said from the door. He walked over to the counter where she was cutting the cake and kissed her on the hair. "Um, it smells delicious."

"I know," Monica smiled. "Straight from the oven!"

"The cake, too. But I was talking about you hair," John chuckled, kissing her again.

"Scully," Mulder crouched on the floor in front of his wife and took her hand. "Emily's first parents gave their lifes to protect her, and so would both of us if it ever came to that. You know this. Why do you worry about it now?"

Embarrassed, Scully looked at the floor. She wasn't feeling herself and she didn't know what to respond, so she asked him a question instead. "How come you never worry about them, Mulder?"

"What do you mean? I worry all the time!"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like… Raising William. I worry that I'm not a man enough to teach him how to be a man," Mulder admitted.

"Really?" Scully smiled teasingly. "I thought that was my job."

"I feel you," John interfered, to everybody's surprise. "When we told him he's having a sister, Luke throw a tantrum. He said he hates being the only man in the house. Monica reminded him about me, and he said I didn't count."

"I hope all of you are men enough to survive my cake," Monica joined in.

Scully suddenly felt dizzy. The kitchen seemed too small for four people and she desperately needed some fresh air. The cake didn't smell nice to her, either. It was too intense and overwhelming. When Monica placed a plate full of it in front of her, Scully jumped and excused herself, rushing to the bathroom.

"Someone's got PMS," John murmured. He didn't notice Mulder's dissatisfied gaze, too busy devouring the cake.

When Scully returned, everybody were in the living room, including children, enjoying the cake. It was evident that she was crying and she knew she couldn't hide it well. Her eyes were red and swollen, and she had trouble looking at anybody. She wasn't feeling any better. The television was too loud, children's laugh too sharp, the smell of lemon peel from the cake was still making her gag. There was no way she could stay there for much longer.

"We should get going," she said apologetically. "I don't feel so well."

"What's wrong?" Mulder and Monica asked in unison.

"Just a headache," she shook her head as if she could simply shake away the weakness that overcame her. The sweet, warm bed at home suddenly felt so far away and she wondered if she would be able to reach it.

"Come on, children!" Mulder called Emily and William. "We are going home."

"Can I have a hamster, mom?" Emily approached them.

"No," Scully said. "You have a dog."

"But… Jackson wants a hamster, and he doesn't have a dog. Lucy is mine!"

"Nice try," Mulder said. "But no. Let's go."

"Call me if you need anything," Monica offered. "Get well soon, ok?"

Scully just nodded, taking a step away from her. Monica smelled like her damn cake and Scully couldn't stand it.

She closed her eyes, feeling dizzy. She wanted to help the children get ready, but she didn't trust her own legs.

"Dana," John approached her. She could smell his aftershave and it appalled her. "Do you, um, need those papers you showed me? About… the treatment?"

"I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have pushed you."

"No, I, um… I was wondering if I could have them. Just to check them out."

"Of course," Scully quickly reached into her purse and took out the treatment plans and requirements. She handed them to John, hoping he couldn't feel her hand shaking. She really needed to get home, into bed. "Take your time. I know it's a big decision, but if there's even a small possibility…"

"I'm fine," John repeated, but he took the documents from her. "I don't need to get better, but I don't want to get worse. I'm having a daughter, and when the time comes, I want to be able to walk her down the aisle."

Scully's eyes filled with tears of affection. She glanced at Mulder, imagining him on Emily's wedding, but he just shrugged, unimpressed. Turning back to John, she felt a sudden urge to embrace him, but the smell of his cologne effectively prevented her.

"That's a noble goal," she just said.

"Mom, can I have a cat?" Emily interrupted.

"No," Mulder said.

"But why?"

"Because she would eat my fish and then Lucy would eat her."

"Dogs don't eat cats," Luke informed him. "Dogs eat dog food, and they can be friends with cats."

"Yeah," Emily agreed. "Suzie has a cat and a dog who are best friends."

"She's gonna have a zoo one day," Monica smiled, looking at Emily with affection.

"Yeah!" Luke was impressed. "That's an awesome idea!"

"Don't give her ideas," Mulder playfully scolded Monica. He picked up William and took Emily's hand, taking them outside, where Scully was already waiting.

"Are you ok?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah," she said. She didn't look ok. She was pale and shaky. "I just needed some air."

"Should we go to the doctor?"

"No, it's nothing serious."

"You don't know that."

"I'm a doctor, Mulder. Just take me home. I need some rest and I'll be as good as new."

Mulder wasn't convinced, but he decided not to pressure her. He buckled up the kids and got on the driver's seat, taking another glance at his wife.

"Is it your sinuses?" he asked.

"No, um, more like a migraine. But not as painful. I'll be fine."

"Dana…"

"I'm fine, Mulder. I've been thoroughly checked last month. My sinuses are clear."

Neither of them wanted to mention the word cancer. The threat was always there and it always would be.

"Mom, can I have a parrot?" Emily wanted to know, effectively distracting them from dark thoughts.

"No," Mulder said. "We have enough pets. We don't have room for more."

"I asked mom, not you! And we could give Jackson to Luke and put the parrot in his crib," she suggested.

"You can't have a parrot, and we would never give William away," Scully said authoritatively. She couldn't blame her daughter, though, since she wasn't thrilled about having a baby brother either. She used to pray to get a puppy instead of Charlie.

Mulder wondered why Emily kept asking for Scully's permission and not his. Was his will irrelevant in this family? During the ride home, he contemplated making changes. Setting his own rules. Maybe buy a piece of furniture that nobody else cared about?

Also, the psychologist in him wondered if this was what they call a mid-life crisis. Maybe. And maybe it was a way of avoiding thinking about his wife's health. They say doctors make worst patients, and Mulder wasn't the one to argue with that. After her cancer went into remission, Scully was rarely sick. Injured, yes, but sick, no. He didn't know what to do with her.

"Do you want to stop at the pharmacy?" he offered.

"Just take me home," Scully answered.

"Mom, can I have a turtle?" Emily asked. "They are small and dogs can't eat them because they have a really hard shield."

Nobody bothered to answer her.

When they arrived home, they were greeted with barking, wet tongue, and garbage spread all over the place.

"Lucy, what have you done?" Scully scolded her, but Lucy was too excited to see them to listen.

"I'll clean this up," Mulder said. "You go to bed."

"Are you sure?" Scully asked.

"Yeah," he said, silently cursing the day that he decided to take that beast home. Lucy kept getting bigger and less obedient.

"Mom, can I make popcorn?" Emily asked.

"Ask your dad, honey," Scully told her, rushing to the bathroom. Emily shrugged and turned to Mulder. "Mom told me to make popcorn."

"Sure," Mulder said, getting the broom. "Actually, no, wait. What about the dinner?"

"I don't want dinner, I want popcorn!"

"Wait," Mulder went towards the bathroom and asked through the closed door. "What do you want for dinner, Scully?"

"I'm not hungry. Just order pizza for you and the children."

"Pizza and popcorn!" Emily was enthusiastic. "The best dinner ever!"

"Kine," William came, holding Mulder's phone.

"What is it, buddy?" Mulder turned to him, taking the phone from him. "This isn't a toy."

"No toy," William agreed. "Kine."

"Hello?" came the voice from the phone. "Mulder?"

Mulder pressed it to his ear. "Skinner?"

"Kine," William confirmed. Losing interest, he turned to find another thing to play with.

"What do you need, sir?" Mulder asked.

"Nothing, Mulder. You called me."

"Um, no, sir, I… Oh, it must've been William. I'm sorry."

"So you do have your boss on a speed dial?" Skinner said half-jokingly, half-pleased.

"Um, yeah. Yes, sir, I do."

"Good, good. Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, sir."

As he hang up, Scully emerged from the bathroom.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"Skinner. William somehow managed to dial his number."

"That's my boy!" Scully was impressed. "Well, if you are sure you can handle everything here, I'm going to bed."

"Yeah, go!"

Mulder took the broom and cleaned the trash while waiting for pizza. He made sure to close the kitchen door so that Lucy wouldn't get access to the garbage can again. He managed to feed the kids, watch the cartoons with them, clean them up and put them to bed. By that time Scully was already sleeping. He called her mother and asked her to come in the morning to help with the children. Then he called his mother to tell her he loved her, but she was having a bad day and couldn't remember having a son.

He fed the fish, watching them swim around. Those little creatures always calmed him down. After Samantha was gone, he wasn't doing well. Instead of getting better, he kept deterioriating. For a while, he completely retrieved into himself and stopped talking. His parents had to take him to a psychologist, who wasn't much of a help, until he suggested to his parents to get him a dog.

He got fish instead. They helped then, and they kept helping him. Just like Lucy was helping Emily. Mulder made a mental note to be more grateful to that damn dog.

He went to bed late and stared at the ceiling, listening to Scully's soft snoring. Sleep just wasn't coming, but he didn't want to take a sleeping pill. He didn't want Scully to have a hard time waking him up in case she felt worse and needed his help.

She was lying with her back to him, and when she turned in her sleep he pressed his lips to her forehead. It wasn't just a kiss, he was trying to check her temperature.

"Muuulderrr," she purred.

"I didn't want to wake you," he whispered.

"Um… I'm glad you did."

"I think you're hot," he said worringly.

"Umm," she licked her lips and placed her hand on his chest. "You're not so bad yourself."

"That's not what I meant," he clarified. "I think you have a fever."

"Ahh," she lazily climbed on top of him. "Do you have a cure for that?" she asked, reaching for his groin.

"Stop it," he pulled her hand away. "You're sick."

"I'm horny," she moaned, with her face pressed on his neck. "If it's contagious you were already exposed to it, Mulder."

She started to suck his neck and wiggle on top of him, while he tried to remain unaffected. It wasn't working, of course. Scully suddenly turned on his night lamp and raised her head to look at him.

"Is that your gun, Mulder?" she teased. "Did you take it to bed with you again?"

"Fine," he said, turning the light off again. "You win."

He grabbed her and turned her on her back, then turned them both once more. He tried to kiss her, but she kept moving her head and giggling.

"You aren't sleeping on my side of the bed," she informed him. "Go back to yours."

"I have no intention of sleeping," he assured her, pulling her panties off in the process. She lifted her nightgown over her head and tossed it to his side of the bed. He grabbed her head and pulled it down for a long and passionate kiss.

"You _are_ hot," he informed her, while trying to catch his breath. "In every way."

"Ummm," she purred, pleased with his words. "Can I have your gun now?"

"It's all yours."

A little bit of wiggling and she found a perfect position.

"I'm ready, Mulder," she said. "Shoot!"

He fired and she screamed. He had to put a hand to her mouth to keep her quiet and spare his kids of hearing something that might traumatize them. Scully was usually quiet during sex and he wasn't used to having to restrain her passion, but boy did he enjoy it!

Scully was better than a sleeping pill, she left him completely spent and he easily fell into a deep sleep.

Though not for long.

"Mulder," she shook him. "Are you awake?"

"Ummm, no," he tried to turn away from her, but she pulled him back.

"Mulder!"

"What?" he opened his eyes and turned on the light. "Are you feeling worse?"

"No," she assured him. "But I'm hungry."

"I don't think there's any pizza left."

"I don't want pizza."

"What do you want?"

"Pineapple."

"Ok," Mulder sighed, sitting up. "I'll get you some. Where do we keep it?"

"We don't have any."

"Oh… Can I get you something else, then?"

"I only want pineapple, Mulder."

"Ok, we'll buy some tomorrow."

"How about you go and buy it now?"

"Now? Scully, it's the middle of the night!"

"I know. And I'm too hungry to sleep…"

He wanted to go back to bed. But she was sick and he was her husband. It left him no choice.

"Fine," he said grudgingly. Naked, he walked to the dresser and bent to find some underwear.

"Hm, I'll need to shave that," Scully said from the bed.

"What?" he asked.

"Your ass."

He turned around and looked at her. She was smiling, but his expression was serious.

"I'm gonna need to spank yours," he said, pulling boxers over his.

"Is that a promise?" Scully smiled seductively.

"Do you want it to be?" Mulder asked, half aroused and half confused.

Scully just giggled in response.

"All right," he buckled up his pants and pulled on his T-shirt. "Let's get you that pineapple."

"A fresh one," Scully murmured, tucking herself in.

It wasn't an easy task so late in the night (or early in the morning), but Mulder came back with two big, jucy pineapples.

Scully was sleeping. This time it was her who refused to wake up, even for a pineapple.

She didn't wake up when Mulder was getting ready for work, when her mother came to take the kids, when Lucy jumped on the bed with her, or even when they all left.

She was still asleep when her mother returned to check on her.

"Dana," Maggie woke her up with a fresh cup of coffee.

"Mom? What's the time?"

"It's almost eleven."

"What? I have to take the kids to school!"

"I already did. Fox told me you weren't feeling well and asked me to help. He left for work and I took Emily to school and William to daycare. I also walked Lucy and now I came back to see if you need anything."

"Oh god," Scully sat up in bed, holding a comforter to her chest. She wanted to get up, but she wasn't wearing anything and she didn't want her mother to know. "I didn't know he called you. I'm fine, you didn't need to…"

"It was no trouble. You know how much I love spending time with my grandchildren. They are adorable, Dana."

"And I'm a bad mother to them," Scully said miserably.

"What are you talking about?" Maggie was surprised.

"Look at this place, mom! It's such a mess! And what am I doing? Lying in bed with a little headache instead of taking them to school? I'm not good at this, mom!"

"Where is this coming from?" Maggie was confused. She never heard her daughter talk like that. "You are a wonderful mother and you know it!"

"Do I?" Scully was skeptical. "Am I? I'm sorry mom, I'm complaining to you and I only have two children. You had four! And a dog. And dad was at the sea for months at a time!"

"That's true," Maggie smiled. "But when he was at home, I had five children!"

Scully chuckled, but not for long. Her thoughts quickly turned grim again. "Three years ago, I was single and barren, and my job was my life. Now, I'm married to my partner, have children and a dog, and it all happened so fast and unexpected. I wasn't prepared for any of this. How do I know if I'm doing it right, mom?"

"It's normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes," Maggie squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Maybe it's a new feeling for you, but the rest of us are used to it. Parenthood is never easy, but it's the best job you'll ever have. You and Fox are not alone in this, Dana. I had my mother to help me. You have yours."

"Thank you," Scully smiled, reassured.

"And you never stop being a mother," Maggie stood up, ready for action. "Especially when your child is sick. I'll make you my famous chicken soup and you'll feel better in no time."

"Actually mom… Can I have some pineapple instead?"

When Mulder came home, he found Scully curled on the couch, crying.

"What happened?" he asked, alarmed. "Where are the kids? Lucy?"

"Mom took them for a walk," Scully said. "I'm just watching a movie."

"You're crying," he noted.

"Oh," Scully wiped her tears, seemingly unaware of them being there. "It's a sad movie."

Mulder turned his gaze to TV and watched it with her for a few seconds.

"It's a comedy," he said.

"I know."

"And the sad part is…?"

"All of it! You don't understand."

He looked at her, really looked at her. She was acting strange and out of character and he didn't know what to make of it.

But there was something familiar in it. Something he's seen before…

Suddenly, the seemingly unrelated pieces clicked in his mind and showed him the whole picture. Suddenly, he knew. He just knew.

He opened his mouth to say it, but the door opened at the same time and Lucy rushed by him, jumping straight to the couch and Scully's lap.

"Good girl," Scully welcomed her.

"Daddy," Emily came next. "Do you have a penis?"

He turned around, confused, coming face to face with his mother in law. She looked as embarrassed as he felt.

"Emily!" Maggie scolded the girl. "What kind of question is that?"

"What? It's not a bad word. Mom told me it's a good word."

"That's right, honey," Scully confirmed. "It's a good word. It's what every man has."

"Dad too?" Emily wanted to know.

"Of course."

Mulder didn't know what to say. He wished this conversation could be postponed until Maggie was gone. Or, better yet, until never. But Emily was having none of it. She wanted answers and she wanted them now.

"Dad," she got his attention. "Do you like having a penis?"

"What?" he looked at her as if she was an alien.

"Let's go to your room, Billy," Maggie took William's hand and retrieved with him, leaving Mulder relieved, though not much.

"Why are you asking this?" Scully wanted.

"I heard Haley say that when she grows up she will have many penises. Her sister told her."

"She said that to you?"

"No, I just heard her say it… Is it true, mom? Will I have penises, too?"

"Mulder," Scully smiled. "Do you want to answer that?"

"You've got it, Doctor. I, um, I have to… go… buy something," he said, grabbing the coat that he just took off before Emily and the rest came.

"Buy what?" Scully was confused.

"I, um, I don't know," he mumbled and left, as fast as he could.

Scully watched him, amused with his discomfort, then she invited Emily to join her and Lucy on the couch.

When Mulder came back, the crises was over. Maggie was gone, Emily and William played with Lucy, Scully was still watching the movie, but she wasn't crying anymore.

Nobody asked him about his penis, so he dared to start breathing again.

He joined Scully on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said, predictably. Then, unpredictably: "Why are you so afraid of The Talk?"

"I'm not afraid… I'm just… You explain it better. And it's a girl thing."

"Is it?" Scully raised her eyebrow. "Can I expect you to talk to William, then? When the time comes?"

"Sure," he said, figuring that time won't come soon.

"So… What did you buy?" she teased, but his answer was serious. "I'll show you later."

He waited for the kids to go to bed. He read them a story and waited for them to fall asleep. He didn't want them to witness what he had planned to do. He needed to be alone with Scully for that.

"You are going to think I'm crazy," he told her. "So I bought this to prove it."

"Bought what?" Scully was confused. He was holding a little paper bag, but he wasn't giving it to her yet. "Prove what?"

"That I've figured out what's wrong with you."

She tilted her head, waiting for him to continue.

"It's been going on for a few days now, I just wasn't paying attention… Your mood swings, nausea, cravings, and, um, your breasts are really big."

"What do my breasts have to do with it?"

"Well… A lot, actually."

"So what is it? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, no, nothing's wrong. The question is what is _right_ with you."

"Mulder, what the hell are you talking about?"

He didn't answer. He just handed her the bag and watched her. She didn't need him to say anything. His gaze told her everything and she knew, even before she opened the bag and looked at it's content.

"These last months with Monica… It's not the same, but there are some similar things that you're both going through."

"I'm barren," she reminded him, staring at the little packet from the paper bag, with millions of thoughts rushing through her head, so fast that she wasn't able to catch any of them. Any but one: "I'm barren."

"Then prove it to me, Scully," Mulder nodded towards the pregnancy test in her hand.

* * *

 **So, did you guess where I was going with this chapter? Or did I manage to surprise you?**

 **What will the pregnancy test reveal? Please vote:**

 **a) Scully is pregnant**

 **b) She is not pregnant**

 **c) I want her to be pregnant, but not now. Can you please wait until she is 54?**


	32. Chapter 32

**This is the last chapter. I didn't think it would be, but I realized before starting it that it's the perfect place to end the story. Thank you for all your help. Every vote was precious and made it all possible. If I did it alone, this story would have turned out very differently. I would have thrown in way more angst, but you kept voting against it, making this one of my sweetest stories. It was very interesting to write Mulder with another partner, and to include John and Monica in the story. I didn't want them, I didn't offer them, but I'm so glad I listened when you asked for them. It was such a pleasure to explore Mulder and Scully having family friends.**

 **Originally, I was planning on writing an epilogue, but now I'm not sure about it. I have the idea for it, but now that it's over I feel like the story really doesn't need it. So I'll leave it to you, as a final vote. Read this chapter and let me know what you think. If enough people request the epilogue, I will write it. I don't know how many votes is enough, maybe just one reader with a really compelling reason… Either way, I hope you like the ending.**

* * *

"Scully!" Mulder kept knocking on the locked bathroom door. "Open up!"

She was finished peeing, that much he could hear, but she wasn't coming out. He wanted to wait for the results together, feeling just as anxious as he believed she must've felt.

"Be quiet, Mulder," she said when she finally emerged. "You'll wake the kids."

"Scully?"

"It's positive," her voice was quivering.

Mulder's heart jumped and a huge grin overtook his face, yet he could see nothing but fear and confusion in her eyes. The thought that hadn't crossed his mind before, suddenly scared him. Maybe she didn't want this. Maybe it wasn't happening. He knew it was ultimately her choice, but would she…?

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I didn't want to shut you out. I just needed a moment to think before I let you in and the result appeared and I…"

"You're pregnant?" he interrupted her.

She handed him the stick with a shaky hand. The proof. The life-changing, mysterious little twig.

"Can this…" he asked carefully. "…be false?"

"Only if it was negative," she explained. "Which… it's not."

"So you're definitely pregnant?"

"But it's not possible!" she still wasn't ready to believe it. "It's… I'm barren, Mulder. The best specialists confirmed it."

"They were wrong," Mulder shrugged.

"But…"

"You had William."

"It's different. That was IVF."

"And this was all me," Mulder said proudly.

"You wanted this?" Scully looked at him accusingly, as if he got her pregnant behind her back. Well, he might have had. She had no idea on which night the impossible happened and they've been exploring different positions recently…

"Sure I did," he looked at the floor, suddenly embarrassed. "Ever since I had to, um, give my sample to, um, make William… I thought about doing it another way…"

"You thought about… me? While you were…?"

"I was trying to make a baby with you, Scully. Thinking about another woman during, um, _that_ , would be like cheating."

"But we weren't together."

"We were married."

"Not for real."

"Scully, look at me," he cupped her face and held it up, gazing into her soul with all the love in the world. "This time it's for real. No IVF, no experiments, just two people loving each other. The way that it should be."

Her eyes filled with tears. "You're happy?"

"I am," he said gently. "Aren't you?"

"No!" she pushed him away. "This isn't a fairytale! Something was done to me. Who knows what kind of defects this… this baby could have? What are the odds of me being able to carry this pregnancy to term? And even if… If everything turns out fine, where are we going to put another child? Look around! This place is a mess and I'm just sleeping the whole day! I'm a terrible mother…"

"No, you're not," Mulder pulled her into a hug. "It's just the hormones talking."

She shook and trembled in his arms, and he held her tight, absorbing her anxiety and releasing it through his body. It's how they worked together, in perfect synchrony, grounding and lifting each other, through heaven, hell and pretty much everything in between.

"You have to get a vasectomy," Scully said when she calmed down and Mulder started to laugh. He knew at that moment that they were going to be ok, that they were on the same page.

Well, except with a vasectomy. That one needed further discussion.

"I think it's a little late for that," he chuckled, giving her a kiss in the hair.

"But I didn't know this could happen!" she pulled away to look at him, with eyes full of guilt. "And I… I should've been responsible, anyway. We don't have room for another child. I've just started working again, what do I say at work? What do I tell my mother?"

"Now everybody will now that you are having sex with me," Mulder teased, amused with her outbursts. He was starting to feel guilty, though. Scully was clearly overwhelmed and she had a lot to take in, in such a short time. If he hadn't interfered, it would've all happened more gradually. She would've had time to suspect, to contemplate it, to buy a pregnancy test herself, to be at least partially prepared. He robbed her of that process and dumped it all on her, quite abruptly. Those damn profiling skills of his!

"Yes, they will!" Scully exclaimed without thinking, covering her mouth with a hand as soon as she realized what she had said. Mulder started to laugh again and she had to chuckle, almost against her will.

"William is so little," she mused. "And Emily doesn't want a brother that she already has. How is she going to react to another baby?"

"What are you talking about? Emily adores her brother!"

"Is that why she's trying to get rid of him?"

"She's not trying to…"

"…give William to Luke?"

"Luke is her best friend, not a stranger. You saw how upset he was for not getting a brother, and Emily just wanted to comfort him. She wouldn't trust anybody else with her Jackson."

"Okay," Scully sniffed and returned into his embrace. The initial shock wore off and she felt tired again.

"Will you be there when I'm giving birth?" she asked him, thinking about the day William was born. She couldn't remember the pain, the fear for his life, Emily's illness… Just love. Just perfection.

"I don't know, Scully," Mulder teased. "That was kinda nasty."

"Mulder!"

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. "I'll be there."

Satisfied with the answer, she pulled him closer.

"I love him so much already," she admitted.

"I love her too."

"Her?" Scully pulled away and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me you already know the sex, too?"

"No, no!" Mulder chuckled. "The only thing I know about the sex is that I've never had it with a pregnant woman."

"Mulder, I was pregnant yesterday! And two days ago, for that matter."

"Yeah, but I didn't know, so it doesn't count."

Scully considered it for a moment. "Do you have condoms?"

"What?"

"Protection, partner!"

"Um, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant while you are already…"

"Yeah, well, I thought I couldn't get pregnant while being barren and look how that turned out."

Sex was great that night, but the sleep didn't come. They were both lying wide awake, too excited to even close their eyes.

Their baby.

Their miracle.

One that they didn't even have to ask for.

"I can hear you thinking," Mulder finally said, getting tired of being awake alone.

"About what?" Scully turned towards him, with a playful grin.

"About…" he turned to face her. "My vasectomy."

He had no idea where that came from. Maybe he was trying to convince himself that she was just joking earlier. Wasn't she?

"It's a simple procedure," Scully assured him. "There's really not much to think about."

"Easy for you to say," he sighed.

"You know what's not easy for me?" she raised her eyebrow. "Getting fat while being unable to eat because everything discusses me. Pushing a watermelon out of my vagina."

Mulder giggled.

"What?" Scully was annoyed.

"You said vagina."

"You are such a baby."

"As long as I'm _your_ baby…" he leaned to kiss her, then returned to his side. "Goodnight, Scully."

"Goodnight, Mulder."

But the night soon started to turn into morning and the sleep wasn't coming for either of them.

"Do you want to know what I'm really thinking about, Mulder?"

"I'm all ears."

"I'm thinking about inviting you into a bathtub with me."

"Why?" Mulder was genuinely puzzled. That poor tub wasn't big enough for the two of them.

"It's just a… fantasy of mine, I guess."

"You mean… A _sexual_ fantasy?" Mulder was getting turned on. First vagina, then sex outside the bedroom… As hard as it was dealing with her hormones, they did have an uplifting side to them.

"Is it weird?" she asked self-consciously. "Because I didn't… I just…"

"No, it's not weird," Mulder assured her. "It just never occurred to me you would want company during your baths."

"Do you…" she was shy, but those hormones were making her a little braver than usual. "Do you have fantasies?"

"I'm living a fantasy," Mulder answered with a kiss.

"Yeah, but I meant…"

"I know what you meant, Scully. And yes, I do. I did. It's just that life got better than fantasies."

"Like what?" she was persistent.

"Like… bending you over my desk."

"Me or somebody from your tapes?" she was suspicious.

"You, Scully! It was my favorite day-dream on our long stake-outs or when I had to endure some boring scientific lecture from you."

"So you thought about bending me over your desk to shut me up?"

"Not… exactly. No. I wanted you to keep talking while I'm… doing it."

Scully thought about it for a moment. "I guess it would make sense."

"It would?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't have minded being actually penetrated while you were screwing me with your theories."

"Whoa," Mulder needed a moment to start breathing again. "Why did you never say so?"

"You never asked," she smiled teasingly.

"I never…? Are you telling me we could have been doing this years ago?"

"Um… I don't know, Mulder," she kept teasing. "Could have we?"

"You are a witch, woman!"

She couldn't reply because his tongue was suddenly in her mouth. He was climbing on her, spreading her legs.

"I have a theory for you, Scully," he said in between the kisses. "A big one. A big… hard… theory."

"Um… Bring it on, Mulder. I'm sure I can prove you wrong."

"Mom? Dad?" Emily's voice interrupted them. "What are you doing?"

Mulder got off Scully in an instant, checking the clock in the process. It was already morning, they really lost sense of time. It was a good thing their little foreplay stayed under the covers. Emily didn't see anything. Well, not too much at least.

"We were just cuddling, sweetheart," Scully explained. "Go to the kitchen, we'll be right there."

"Ok," Emily accepted, seemingly unaffected with the scene she witnessed. Mulder let out a sigh of relief, but he didn't stay relieved for long.

"I want to tell her," Scully informed him as soon as Emily was out of sight.

"Now? Don't you think it's too soon?"

"Yes, I do. But I don't want to keep this from her. Besides, the timing is perfect. If we tell her right away, she will forever associate cuddling with pregnancy."

"A perfect birth control!" Mulder laughed.

"Exactly."

They tried to pick words, to convince her it's a good thing, but nothing could've prepared them for her answer.

"I know," Emily said simply. No surprise, no questions.

"You know?" Mulder and Scully asked in unison. "How?"

"Jackson told me," Emily shrugged. "Well, he didn't tell me with talking, but he just knows, you know?"

"No," her parents replied.

Emily shrugged again. "Can we have pancakes for breakfast?"

As it turned out about a week later, William wasn't the only one who _just knew_.

"Tell me something, Agent Mulder," Skinner asked in his office. "How come every partner you recently had ended up pregnant?"

"Just the female ones," Mulder clarified. "The males turn into murderous traitors."

Skinner nodded. Kryczek was his problem too, maybe even more than Mulder's.

"Besides," Mulder continued. "Agent Doggett's pregnancy had nothing to do with me."

"I sure hope so, Agent Mulder," Skinner chuckled. "How is Scully, by the way?"

"Miserable, but we are happy. But, sir, how did you know? We haven't told anybody yet."

"What do you mean, Mulder? I've met William."

"Oh. William. Right."

"Right," Skinner watched him intensely. "But you weren't talking about William, were you?"

"Sure I was," Mulder tried to fix things, but it was too late. Good profilers don't necessarily make good liars.

"What do you say," Skinner was impressed. "Another one? Congratulations, Mulder!"

"Thank you, sir. I… would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself. For now. We just found out and…"

"Of course," Skinner agreed. He stood up to shake Mulder's hand. "Who would I tell, anyway?"

"Um, your secretary?" Mulder suggested. "She's hot."

"Stay away from her, Agent Mulder. I don't need her getting pregnant, too. It's hard to find such a reliable assistance."

"Well if she does," Mulder winked. "Make sure it's yours."

Monica wasn't thrilled about Skinner finding out before her, but she was absolutely delighted with the news.

"I knew that red lingerie would do the trick!" she exclaimed victoriously. "Though I didn't know it would work this well! This is wonderful, our babies can be best friends, like Luke and Emily. I can't wait to tell John!"

"Why?" Scully raised her eyebrow. "It's not his."

Something in her voice made Monica suspicious. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, but then again, I was sure I was barren," Scully shrugged.

"What are you trying to say?" Monica's joy turned into a rage in an instant.

"Whoa," Mulder got in between them. "She didn't mean anything. It's just… the pregnancy brain."

"What is that supposed to mean?" now Scully got upset.

"Yeah, what are you trying to say?" Monica chipped in, siding with Scully again. "That being pregnant makes us stupid?"

"Not stupid," he raised his hands in defeat, trying to back away from both of them. "Just… dangerous."

By the looks on their faces, it was the wrong thing to say.

The next were the mothers.

"Mom," Scully said to hers. "Do you remember how I told you that raising two kids was too much for me?"

"I do," Maggie confirmed. "But I know you didn't really mean it."

"Actually I did, but I guess this time next year I'll be telling you how easy it was having just two."

"Dana? What are you saying?"

"I'm pregnant, mom!"

It didn't go as smoothly with Mulder's mother, though.

"That's good for you," Teena said politely, but uninterestedly. "Now excuse me, I have to find my daughter."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes, she's somewhere here… Have you seen her? Pink dress, dark, curly hair? Samantha's always getting herself into trouble."

"Samantha?" Scully said sadly.

"Mom," Mulder crouched next to her and took her hand. "Samantha is gone. You know that."

"I know," Teena nodded in agreement. "That's why I have to find her. Fox is supposed to be looking after her, but he was never good at it."

"No," Mulder sighed. "No, he wasn't. I'm sorry."

"Mulder," Scully placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't go there. She doesn't know who you are. Let her stay in her happy place."

"Yeah," Mulder nodded. He got up and turned to Scully, placed a hand on her belly. "One life is growing… While another one is fading."

"There's nothing we can do."

"I know."

Finally, there were only three people left to be told the news, but those three came together, as a group. Lone Gunmen.

"They asked me to take a look at some house for them," Mulder said to Scully. "Do you mind checking it out with me?"

"Sure," Scully accepted. "Are they moving?"

"Maybe," Mulder shrugged. "You know how paranoid they are, never feeling safe for long in the same location."

They took the whole family to see the house, even Lucy. There was a huge, fenced backyard for her to run around and sniff every corner in search of anything suspicious, even though Lucy was more skilled at losing things than finding them.

"Let's check inside," Mulder called Scully and the kids. "While Lucy finishes here."

"No, dad, can we stay here?" Emily asked. "I brought Lucy's ball and I want to play with her. She loves it here. You, mom, Jackson and Alex can go without us."

"Who is Alex?" Mulder was confused. He looked at Scully and could see the displeasure written all over her face. If Emily had an imaginary friend, why did it have to have Kryczek's name?

"It's the new baby!" Emily informed them, to their shock and horror.

"We are not naming the baby Alex," Scully said firmly.

"But mom, that's what the baby wants! Isn't that right, Jackson?" Emily looked at her little brother for confirmation.

"Alex!" William clapped his hands with the cutest smile ever. Coming from his sweet mouth, the name didn't even sound evil anymore.

"Woof," Lucy confirmed.

"Ok, buddy, we can discuss that later," Mulder said, taking William's hand. "Let's go see the house now."

"No!" William refused, looking intently at his sister, whose back was now turned to him. Nevertheless, she heard him loud and clearly.

"Fine!" she turned and walked towards them, with over exaggerated annoyance. She took William's hand and pulled him away from Mulder. "I'll watch him, but be back soon, ok?"

"Do you want to stay with your sister, William?" Mulder asked.

"Of course he does," Emily was quite irritated. "Do you think this was my idea? And stop calling him William!"

With that, she turned and dragged William towards the very excited dog with a ball in her mouth.

"Do you think he really hates his name?" Mulder asked Scully when they were inside. "Or is it just her?"

"Oh, I don't know, _Fox_ ," Scully responded mockingly, but she didn't wait for Mulder's reaction. The house was more interesting, and she started to walk around without checking if Mulder was following.

"Do you like it?" he asked when they went through all of the upstairs' rooms.

"I love it," Scully said with her back on him. She was standing at the window, keeping an eye at the kids downstairs. "But it's a family house. It doesn't seem to be Lone Gunmen's style."

"That makes it a perfect cover, doesn't it? Just like the story about them searching for a house made a good cover for my surprise."

That got her attention. "What are you talking about?"

She turned around to find Mulder on his knees, offering a little red box with a stupid grin on his face.

"What is this, Mulder? We are already married," Scully was confused.

"Oh, it's not a ring. Just an alien implant. Open it."

She raised her eyebrow suspiciously, but took the box anyway and opened it with the same annoyance that Emily showed earlier. Mulder loved that about her: always so skeptical, yet willing to play along.

"You bought the house?" Scully asked when she found a key inside.

"No. I mean, yes, but I can still pull back my offer if you don't like it. I just hoped you would. Your place is too crowded and it's still your place, so I thought we could get ours. Enough room for all of the kids, Lucy and even Emily's Zoo that she keeps begging us for."

"What about Lone Gunmen?" Scully's eyes filled with tears. She loved the house, but her brain was slow these days.

"That was just a cover to get you here," Mulder chuckled. "I love the guys but I'm not ready to have them move in with us."

"Oh," she still had a little trouble comprehending what was happening. "So you bought the house?"

"Well, that depends on your answer," he patiently repeated. "Will you move in with me?"

Her response was giggle. For a moment, he thought that she didn't hear him, that she got lost somewhere in her mind, but then she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He felt a little kick on his palm.

"Is that your digestion?" he teased.

"No, Mulder, that's your baby. Or, should I say Alex?" she giggled, motioning to him to stand up and kiss her. "And that's your answer."

They sealed the deal with a kiss, listening to the sound of two of their children laughing outside, and one from the inside.

 **THE END**


End file.
